


Cherries

by IllusionFire



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angsty at some points, Fluff, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Tiny bit of Angst, Will continue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 46,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllusionFire/pseuds/IllusionFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Komaeda brings Hinata some cherries to test out a theory he's heard. Surely it's not true, right? Because it's just a theory, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cherry Boys (It's not what it sounds like I swear)

**Author's Note:**

> Whoop! Here I am! This was originally on Fanfiction.net as a one shot but I actually kind of wanna continue it because it might be cute (Plus it will atract more attention because fanfic.nets tagging system is so shit) This is my first fanfic between these two so I'm trying my best here XD Don't expect uploads to be super consistent, but it'll probably take like a week and a half or so to get more chapters. Just don't set your standards too high. Without further ado, commence the gay.

Hope’s Peak Academy, the hardest school to get into in the country, probably even the hardest school to get into in the world. The only way you can get in is to have two qualities: Be in high school, and be the very best at what you do.

The school has to personally scout you out and they gift you the title of “Super High School Level” or “SHSL” for short. Every student here has their own talent and personality.

Except for me.

I’m Hajime Hinata, and the only reason I was accepted into Hope’s Peak is because I’m a reserve course student. Reserve course students can get in pretty easily compared to normal students. All you’d have to do is pay money to take a simple entrance exam and if you passed, you got into the school. I got accepted in, and was placed in the reserve course department, but I was still in the class with all the other SHSL students. Even then, I never felt confident in myself or my ability.

Thankfully, the SHSL students still treated me the same as any other, and I even made some friends, something I wasn’t really able to do before entering Hope’s Peak. There was Sonia Nevermind, The SHSL Princess. She’s the Princess of the kingdom of ‘Novoselic’ and from what I’ve heard from Sonia, her country is extremely odd.

There was also Kazuichi Souda, the SHSL Mechanic, who had an INSANE obsession with Sonia. I’m not even talking about love-struck teenager, either. This dude will do literally do ANYTHING for this girl.

And my one of my best friends, Chiaki Nanami, the SHSL gamer. She’s the sleepy and quiet gamer of the group. She always has a pause before she talks, and she yawns almost every 5 minutes. So even though I’m completely talentless, they still accepted me like I was one of them.

…Except for one. The Infamous Nagito Komaeda, the SHSL Lucky Student. He’s the oddball of the class, usually quiet and people, Reserve Course or SHSL student, distanced themselves from him. We got off on the wrong foot when we first met.

I noticed on one of the first days I was in class, he wouldn’t stop staring at me. It honestly freaked me out, since I couldn’t tell if he was glaring at me or just staring at me. I’m not sure which one I would’ve preferred more. But at the end of class he narrowed his eyes at me and told me that a talentless and plain bystander should get tossed out of the school. I didn’t exactly know what to say, what should I have said? I confronted Chiaki about it, but she said not to worry about it. She explained that Komaeda was a very complex person, and not to take many of the things he says seriously.

The school hadn’t assigned dorm rooms yet, and just my luck, we got placed together as roommates. I was honestly ready to get into my first fight, because I thought this kid was going to punch me as soon as I walked in the room. But surprisingly, when I walked in he stayed quiet and wasn’t looking at me. I asked him why he wasn’t trying to kick me out of the dorm room, and he replied without looking at me.

“…Truthfully, I’m just as talentless as you.” That was a weird way of putting it, but he looked extremely guilty. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning manner to let him know I didn’t understand, but he was still looking away from me, so I had to question him.

“What do you mean ‘just as talentless’? You’re the SHSL Lucky Student, aren’t you?” After saying that he exhaled in a sort of laughing noise.

“That’s such a boring and useless talent, don’t you think?” I was taken aback by his sudden shift in attitude. His murky green eyes trailed away from me again and he spoke again “Honestly, I think I should be the one tossed out of this school. I doubt Hope’s Peak Academy would want a disgusting person like me here.”

I couldn’t follow this dude at all, but it still slightly disturbed me to hear him say this stuff.

“Hey… Knock that off, no matter what your talent is, you shouldn’t belittle yourself like that.” After I finished talking, he gave a soft and gentle smile.

“Thank you…um… What is your name?” His placed his hand through his white and fluffy hair, engulfing it slightly. I was actually getting curious about how his hair felt.

“It’s Hajime Hinata” Even though I said it plainly, he smiled like it was the most interesting thing ever.

“Then may I call you ‘Hinata-kun’?” I laughed slightly at his request.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” I don’t understand why everything I said made him so happy. “I’m glad you don’t mind sharing a room with trash like me. I’m surprised you aren’t kicking me out right now.” I never understood why he constantly put himself down like that, but thankfully sharing a room with him for the past few months has led me to understand him more.

We actually got along pretty well, or at least as Komaeda put it, he was “In love with the hope that slept inside me”. I think I’ve hardly even scratched the surface of what he’s like, but I’m glad we get along. He always made the simplest thing interesting, and I never really got bored of having him around, something that usually happens.

Today he came in a little later than usual, but I’ve come to learn that his luck can impede his arrival in many ways. After he set down his school bag, I heard him set down another bag that sounded like it was plastic.

I turned to him, and he took a jar out of the plastic bag and showed me the contents.

“Look, Hinata-kun!” He put the jar in front of me and, revealing a jar of cherries. I looked at him with eyes that said, “Yeah, so?” and Komaeda gave another small giggle.

“Hinata-kun, are you familiar with the theory that if you can tie a cherry stem, you’re a good kisser?” I have never been so confused in my entire life.

“Um… What is the correlation between that, exactly? I’m pretty sure if you can tie your shoe laces you can…” before I could finish, Komaeda laughed again.

“No, no, Hinata-kun, you’re supposed to tie it with your tongue.” “Okay, but that still sounds like a theory a teenage girl would come up with.”

Komaeda popped off the stem of the cherry and put it in his mouth, and a few seconds later, he took it out and unsurprisingly, it came out tied. I guess that’s why they call him the SHSL lucky student, huh?

“H…How the hell did you do that so quickly…” I asked in amazement more than anything. Komaeda just gave his trademark smile.

“I guess I’m just lucky.” After he said that, he pulled out another cherry and popped off the stem, this time, handing it to me. “Would you like to try, Hinata-kun?” he said, still holding out the cherry stem. I don’t need to be the SHSL Detective Kyoko Kirigiri to figure out I was going to fail. But before I could refuse, I wound up having the cherry stem in my hands.

After popping the stem into my mouth, it actually wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty damn infuriating. I must have looked like such an idiot, because I was genuinely trying my best.

After a few more seconds I spit out the stem into my hand and threw it away. “Well there you have it, Komaeda, I’m a horrible kisser.” I never thought I would say that in my life ever. I‘m glad Komaeda laughed at something other than the fact that I sucked at that cherry thing.

“Hinata-kun, it’s just a theory.” He gave a slight smirk after he said that. As much as I really liked Komaeda and how nice he was, he can still manage to be a huge asshole sometimes. “I didn’t think you would take it so seriously, Hinata-kun. Like I said, it’s just a theory, don’t worry about it.” He actually looked sincere in his apology that time, but it still irritates me that he was able to do it so fast.

There was a brief moment of silence before Komaeda started staring at me. It wasn’t the glare that he gave me the first day we met, but it looked more like he was enthralled in something.

“Um… Komaeda?” I waved my hand in his face, and he blinked at me.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Hinata-kun, I was just thinking.” Smiling once again, he went back into focus. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he looked like he was in serious thought. He snapped out of his trance and then looked straight at me.

“Hinata-kun.”

 

He said, sounding actually pretty serious. I haven’t really heard him sound so serious in a very long time. The only other time I’ve seen him this serious before is when Junko Enoshima was staying the night with Tsumiki who is right next door to us

. But he stared at me and he opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but he quickly shut it like he was unsure about what he was going to say. But he finally worked up the courage to try again, because he finally worked up the courage to say what he was about to say.

“Hinata-kun, may I kiss you?” He said quietly.

What? Komaeda wants to kiss me? Even if he wants to prove this theory, isn’t this going a little too far?

“Um… Sure… I guess.” Why the hell did I say that?! I mean, I wouldn’t exactly mind, but that’s exactly the problem. Why don’t I mind? I’m pretty sure I’m not gay… Am I?

But Komaeda started to move a little closer to me and I closed my eyes. This is actually happening. I am going to be kissed by someone that I’ve known for 5 months.

I felt something warm against my cheek, which I’m guessing is what Komaeda kissed. I opened my eyes a little quicker than I should have, because I think I might’ve scared Komaeda.

“I’m sorry, Hinata-kun, was it that bad?” he said with remorse.

“No, it’s just… That wasn’t what I was expecting.”

Komaeda continued to look down, and anywhere but me.

“Was… Was it bad…?” He asked again, quieter than before.

“Are you concerned about it?” I can’t really read his emotions regularly, so I can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.

“Well, no, but…” He trailed off, and stopped talking. Could this conversation get anymore awkward?

“Hey, Komaeda, don’t worry.” He raised his eyebrow at my statement. “Cause after all… it’s just a theory, right?” Komaeda’s smile returned, and he let out a small laugh.

 

“Yeah… just a theory.”


	2. Nerf Roulette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Says I will have an inconsistent and spread out upload schedule and not to expect updates too frequently*
> 
> *Updates another chapter the day after the first chapter was posted*
> 
> I'm sorry but this chapter was just too fun to write.

          It’s been a few days since the whole cherry thing with Komaeda, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I mean, Komaeda had to do that because he had a reason, right?   

          But then again, Komaeda does things just because he wants to sometimes, so maybe it wasn’t for a reason after all.

          Even so, I still can’t stop thinking about what happened. I’ve never seen Komaeda act like that, ever. Even if we’ve known each other for five months, it’s still really odd to see him act like that.

          Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the five months of living with him, I do know that Komaeda is really good at hiding his true emotions. He never shows that he’s sad, angry or flustered around me, and he replaces his true feelings with a weak smile. That means I have to try and decode what he’s really feeling.

I decided to try letting it go for now and wait for Komaeda to get back.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                It’s been a while since class let out and Komaeda still isn’t back, and I’m starting to get a little worried about him. Is it just more bad luck?

          Trying to pass time, I checked my phone to see if I had gotten any texts. Turns out I had gotten two, and they were both from Chiaki.

          One read “Low hope alert in effect. Tell Komaeda-kun.” And the other read “He’ll be a little late, I just had to help him with something.”

          I replied with a simple ‘okay’ and set the phone down.

          Komaeda and I have things we call ‘Hope Alerts’ that Chiaki and I made so Komaeda can feel safe if Junko Enoshima is nearby. We made it so he’ll be alert.

          A low hope alert is when Junko isn’t doing anything particularly suspicious, just prowling around. A moderate hope alert is when she’s trying to involve herself with someone in our dorm hallway or is just prowling around our dorm hallway. And a severe hope alert is when she’s spending the night with Tsumiki, who is right next door to us.

          Thankfully, it’s usually always low or we don’t have one at all, since Komaeda _really_ seems to hate her.

          After a few minutes of doing my homework, I heard Komaeda come in, so I set my homework aside for later, remembering Chiaki helped him with something.

          “Hinata-kun, I have a surprise for you!” he said cheerfully like he always is.       

          I turned to him, and he quickly pulled something out and something hit me. It didn’t hurt, but it still really surprised me.

          “Komaeda, what the hell?!” I asked in an annoyed tone. Komaeda was too busy holding back his laughter to know that I was mad at him.

          I looked down to see what he had hit me with, but it was just a foam cylinder. It didn’t have a tip; it was just an orange, foam cylinder.

          “Look what I got, Hinata-kun!” He held up his hand and revealed a Nerf gun. Is that what he shot me with?

 

          “Where the hell did you get that?!” I asked, Komaeda still smiling like a 4 year old child with a new toy.

          “Nanami-san gave it to me.” He replied joyfully. Screw this guy. Is _this_ what Chiaki was helping him with? A surprise Nerf gun attack?

          “Why the hell did she give you that?” I can tell Komaeda doesn’t feel bad _at all._

          “Well, Hinata-kun, I wanted to play a game with you!” A game? Why would he do that?

          “What, like a Nerf gun battle? But you don’t even have another gun!” A sly look crept across his face upon me saying that. That is not a good sign.

          “Oh no, Hinata-kun, this is a game you only need one gun to play with.” He kept a sly smirk plastered across his face. 

          I raised my eyebrow with suspicion, and he spun the Nerf gun’s cylinder.

          “Wh..What are you doing?” I asked, a little weirded out. I don’t like where this is going at all.

          “Playing Russian Roulette!” I don’t understand how he can say that so happily.

          “Wh…what?! Komaeda, like hell I’d win! You’re too lucky!” He smiled again and explained once again why I was wrong.

          “It shouldn’t, actually. There are four bullets in the Nerf gun out of eight, so that means I have a 50/50 chance. My luck shouldn’t interfere since I don’t have a higher or lower chance.”

          I stopped to look at him for a bit and he was still smirking.

          “After all… My luck chooses the least likely outcome… there shouldn’t be any interference.” Note to self: Never challenge Komaeda in a battle of wits. He will beat you.

          “…Fine, I’ll play you. But if you win don’t rub it in my face.” He laughed softly and said simply “Of course.”

 

Komaeda started to explain the rules of Russia Roulette. He was actually quite well versed in it.

“Alright Hinata-Kun, when it’s your turn, you can do three things; Shoot yourself and end your turn, spin the cylinder, and shoot the other player. If you shoot yourself and ‘live’, your turn is over. If you spin the cylinder, you shoot yourself in hopes of shuffling the bullets. If you shoot the other player, you have a chance of killing them, but if you don’t, you have to shoot yourself and hope for the best.”

“Should I be worried that you know all the rules to this?”

“You’d be surprised, Hinata-kun.”

He handed the Nerf Gun to me first, looking at me to take the first move. Even though the bullets are  foam I felt like I was going to die if I screwed up.

I pointed the Nerf gun at my head and shot. A blank. Take that, Komaeda.

Komaeda took the gun and smirked. He spun the cylinder and shot himself. Another blank. He looks really confident.

This had gone on for about 2 or 3 minutes, and it’s surprisingly nerve-wracking. But Komaeda doesn’t seem concerned in the least. I decide to try and wear him down a little.

“This has been going on for a while, huh, Mr. Luckster?”

Another smile.

“Why yes, it has.” My attempts are failing horribly.

“Odd, since both of us aren’t getting shot. Maybe you aren’t as lucky as they say?” It’s my time to smirk, but he smirks back.

“Is that a challenge?” He asks. You know the look your sibling gives you when they got you in trouble? That’s what Komaeda’s face looks like right now.

“Because if so…” he started, pointing the gun at him.

_Click click._   

I cannot believe this. Komaeda didn’t even spin the cylinder and he just shot himself twice in a row. He nonchalantly handed the gun to me.

“Would I have been able to do that?”

“Screw you.”

“I think that’s taking things a little too fast, Hinata-kun.”

“…Shut up.”

I can’t even win a childish fight with him.

I spun the cylinder, pointed it at him, and shot. A blank. I gulped knowing I’d have to shoot myself now.

Komaeda stared at me, a snarky look on his face, waiting for me to do what I had to do. I slowly pointed the gun at my head and…

_Chink!_

A foam bullet popped out. God. Damnit.

I looked at Komaeda, quite satisfied of the outcome of the game. I decided to just make this situation positive and make a joke out of it.

“Blahhhg! I’m dead!” I cried, pretending topple down on the ground from where I was sitting. Komaeda started to laugh. I always liked Komaeda’s laugh. As long as it didn’t sound like he was torturing children, his laugh usually never failed to get me to smile, too.

I got up and laughed a little as well, before I realized I didn’t tell Komaeda today’s hope alert.

“Oh, Komaeda…” I began to say. “I forgot to tell you, low hope alert today.” Komaeda smiled at my report.

“Thank you, Hinata-kun. I’m glad you care about someone like me.” Still having trouble with self-esteem. I guess we’ll work on it.

“Hey, Komaeda…” I said, a little serious. He looked at me attentively.

“I have a question for you, Komaeda. Can you be completely honest with me?” I asked.

Komaeda’s expression dampened, looking hurt, and almost a little mad.

“Hinata-kun… You know I’d never lie to you.”  Guess I should’ve phrased that differently. He looks genuinely hurt that I thought he’d lie to me.

“S…sorry. But… I have a serious question for you.” He raised his eyebrow, ready for my question.

“Why… Why do you hate Enoshima so much?” As soon as the word Enoshima exited my mouth his expression took another turn, a combination of both hatred and realization, like he was thinking “well I can’t lie now.”  

He looked away for a second, trying to formulate an answer, but just couldn’t say. Finally, after a few awkward seconds, he finally thought of some words.

“…I can’t tell you right now.” He was quiet, almost silent.

“What do you mean, “I can’t tell you right now”?” Komaeda almost started to panic in a way, his breathing became a bit shakier, his hands wouldn’t stay still, and all I did was ask a simple question!

“…Can I tell you tomorrow? Please…I’m just not ready to tell you right now…” He seemed really shaken up about my question, so I should probably wait. Komaeda takes the words ‘Despair’ and ‘Hope’ to a whole new level, so I shouldn’t question it.

“Alright…But please, don’t keep things to yourself so much. I’m your friend for a reason. You can talk to me about whatever you want, okay?” His smile returned after hearing my gentle tone, something that’s rare from me.

_“I’ll tell you tomorrow, I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time!


	3. Hope Alert!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking shit guys over 300 veiws??? I cannot thank you enough for this this is amazing. ;-; I am a very happy Mikan right now! Thank you so much for the feedback! I know the uploads are constant but I am just having way too much fun writing this and I love how much you guys are enjoying this fic. Without further ado... Commence once again, the gay!

          Focusing in class isn’t easy when your best friend had a hope meltdown. Algebra is nice and all, but a hope meltdown is very serious, especially if it’s from Komaeda.

          Like I’ve mentioned, Komaeda takes hope extremely seriously. When we were placed as roommates the second day in he asked me about how I felt about hope.

          I told him I didn’t really have an opinion about it, and he gave me such a shocked look, like I just told him he had cancer or something.

          After that he sat me down and lectured me about how important hope is and how we should never take it for granted.

          But what does Junko Enoshima have to do with all this? She’s just a model, the SHSL Model, no less. I thought Komaeda would admire her just like all the other SHSL students, or as Komaeda calls them ‘Symbols of Hope’

          Snapping out of my thoughts about Komaeda’s obsession about hope, I looked at the clock; 2:40. Only 5 more minutes until classes are officially over for the day.

          Komaeda isn’t in the same last class as me, but he is in two of them. Thankfully our last classes are only two classrooms apart, so we can meet each other after class. Except I have to wait until the hall clears, since Komaeda really doesn’t like noisy places.

          It actually works out for us both, since I like to (try) getting to my locker to put away stuff I don’t need.

          Trying to squeeze my way through the crowd to get to my locker, I finally reached my destination. Putting away the stuff I didn’t need, I shut my locker and turned to leave.

          I turned away to start walking to get Komaeda, but I bumped into someone in the process. I stumbled back a bit before they spoke.

          “Oi! Watch out, you filthy peasant!” I looked to try and see who it was, and my eyes widened. Junko Enoshima.

          The girl with the long, oversized twin tails and short skirt, blouse and bear hairpins was now here in front of me. I’m actually surprised I haven’t noticed her more often, since her clothes are so revealing.

          Actually, I’ve never actually spoken to her before, so maybe Komaeda was just exaggerating like he always does with hope and despair.

          “E…Excuse me?” I stuttered, looking at her pompous pose. Her hands were high on her hips and she acted as if she had a bright crown atop her head, like she were the highest person in the world.

          But all of a sudden, she laughed and changed her pose as if she were a completely different person entirely.

          Her eyes were now droopy and her arms sunk low, as her head dropped like she was now depressed.

          “ _Ohh…_ I’m sorry… I’ll get out of your way _, Hajime_ …” she said as she slowly walked away.

          What the hell just happened? How does she know my name? We’ve never talked to each other, and we’re not in any of the same classes… Gossip? But what’s interesting about me that people would want to gossip about? I’m not anything special to talk about…

          Anyway, is this what Komaeda is so scared of? Some crazy girl who’s probably just bipolar? And if so, why? Why would he be so afraid of that?   

          Before I could formulate some sort of answer, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

          Taking the phone out, I saw that it was a text from Chiaki.

          _‘Bad news, Junko is spending the night with Tsumiki tonight. Tell Komaeda-kun right away.’_

          Ah, shit… A severe hope alert. No one is happy with a severe hope alert. Not me, definitely not Komaeda, and not Chiaki.

          Chiaki is one of Tsumiki’s friends, and it really upsets her when she hangs out with Junko.

          The phone vibrated again, displaying another message from Chiaki.

                   _“Komaeda-kun is looking for you. Are you at your locker?”_

          I replied with a quick ‘yes’ and headed over to Komaeda’s classroom.

          Just as I thought, Komaeda was waiting for me by the door of the classroom.

          “Hinata-kun!” He greeted me happily like he always does. I almost wonder how he does it

          “You took a little longer today, Hinata-kun. Did something happen?”

          I really do not want to lie to Komaeda, but if I tell him that I ran into the girl he hates so much and that she knows my name, I am _screwed._

          “Oh, it was nothing. My locker just jammed.” That didn’t feel good. At all. I hate lying. I hate lying to people and I especially hate it because I just had to do it to Komaeda.

          “Oh, that’s too bad. As long as it ended fine.” I feel terrible.

          “Komaeda? There’s a severe hope alert today. Nanami just told me. Enoshima is spending the night with Tsumiki.” Komaeda’s good mood took a complete 180o. He got pale, even paler than he already is, and Komaeda is very pale.

          “Wh…what?” There it is. Komaeda started to reach for his hair and started to restlessly tug at it.

          I narrowed my eyes at him a little. Komaeda knows I don’t like it when he tugs at his hair.

          “Komaeda, _no._ ” I said it sternly enough for him to stop, but all of a sudden he let go of his hair and grabbed my hand, and pretty tightly, too.

          “Hinata-kun, we need to go. Right now.” He started to run as his hand tugged at me to keep running.   

          Despite Komaeda’s skinny demeanor, he can actually run really fast. I’m not so sure about his stamina, but he can sprint and outrun me in a heartbeat.

          Komaeda proceeded to drag me through the school and stopped when we got to our dorm hallway. Komaeda stops in front of the dorm hallway to peek around the corner to see if they are around or by the door.

          After seeing the coast was clear, he sprinted to our dorm room, swiped his student ID and threw both of us in.

          Komaeda does not mess around with hope alerts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          It’s been a few hours and it’s already super boring during a severe hope alert.

          During a severe hope alert, both of us aren’t allowed to go out of the dorm.     

          Or even better phrased I’m not allowed out of the dorm because there would be no way in hell to get Komaeda out of the dorm with Enoshima around.

          Looking at the clock, the time was only 7:00, so it wouldn’t be wise for me to go to bed right now unless I wanted to wake up at 3 in the morning.

          I groaned out of boredom and checked my phone out of instinct

          “I know it’s boring, Hinata-kun, but it’s for your own safety.”

 

          “Safety? Why are you so scared of this girl?”  Komaeda is still silent. Guess he’s still not ready.   

          “Hinata-kun, as long as you have hope, the SHSL Despair won’t be able to touch you.” The SHSL Despair? Is he talking about Junko? Isn’t she a model though?

          Sighing in boredom and confusion, I glanced at Komaeda and looked at him more carefully.

          He didn’t have his jacket on now, and he had only his T-shirt and jeans now.    

          I’ve never really seen Komaeda without his jacket on that much; it’s one of those things that he has on so often it’s weird to see him without it.

          Another reason it’s weird to see him without his jacket is because I usually don’t see Komaeda’s arms too much. Looking at it now, Komaeda’s really skinny.

          I’ve never really noticed it, but now that I take a closer look, Komaeda’s all skin and bone.

          “Hinata-kun, it’s impolite to stare.” He remarked, but then a small smirk appeared on his face “Or do you just like what you see?” I felt me face turn 5 shades redder.

          “Komaeda, don’t be an ass…” He laughed at my embarrassment and talked to me more.

          “But it will pass the time. We’re actually doing something right now” There he goes being a smartass again.

          But he was right about that, talking does pass time pretty quickly. Before we knew it, it was already 9:30.

          I know that absolutely no high schooler goes to bed at 9:00, but Komaeda gets tired pretty early, and it’s beginning to rub off on me.

          Sometimes when I try to stay up late to study for a test I find myself sleepy and it’s only 9:15.

          I hear Komaeda let out a small yawn, and he starts to head for my bed.

          “This thing again?” I say as I raise my eyebrow at him.

          Whenever Junko spends the night with Tsumiki, Komaeda sleeps in my bed with me because his bed is closest to the wall where Tsumiki’s room is.

          “I am not sleeping near the SHSL Despair, Hinata-kun.”

          After we both got in bed, Komaeda strangely put his arms around my stomach like he were holding a teddy bear. He usually only does that when he’s asleep by instinct, but he’s definitely not asleep yet.

          “Hinata-kun…” His voice was soft and reluctant, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue the rest of his sentence.

          “Hmm?” I hummed as if to answer him.

          “I think I can tell you the reason I hate…Enoshima so much now.” He paused before the word Enoshima as if he were bracing himself before saying it.

          “Go on, you can tell me anything.” I said, as he sighed before he continued

“Enoshima…Wasn’t the kindest to me when we were children.” They knew each other as children?

          “Oh, so were you childhood friends with her or something?” As soon as I said that it’s as if I could feel the scowl on his face.

          “No. Not then and not ever.” A few seconds after he said that it’s as if his smile returned.

          “I mean, unless friends push each other off trees and break their arms.” I almost gasped at what he said. Children can be cruel, not doubt about that.

          One time me and Komaeda were walking home from a coffee shop we had visited after school, and two kids walked by; one with red hair with a striped red and black shirt with a white jersey over it, and a girl with pink twin tails and a brown and pink blouse with a brown skirt.

          I accidently bumped into one of them, and the red haired on shouted “You filthy demon! How dare you run into me!” and slugged me in the arm. Even though he was just a kid, he was still pretty strong, because my arm started to bruise after a few hours.

          To top it all off though, they started to walk away laughing! Like they enjoyed other people’s pain and misfortune.

          As mean and rude as that was, I’ve never really seen a child be crueler than that, much less break someone’s arm.

          “Why would she do that?” Again, I could just tell he wasn’t smiling anymore.

          “To bring me despair and nothing else.” There he goes with the whole ‘despair’ thing again. Can a child even be so cruel to think that way? Can a child even be so psychopathic that they’d only want to bring someone despair?

          “But why you? Didn’t she have a sister? Couldn’t she have just picked on her instead?” Komaeda gave a small breathy laugh at my question.

          “Oh, no. There’s no way she could have fought Mukuro. She’s the SHSL Soldier. Even when she was young, she was still very strong.” Komaeda’s grip tightened around me as if seeking comfort.

          “I’m sure she did it because I’m easy.” Komaeda whispered.

          “What’s that supposed to mean?” Komaeda gave yet another laugh at my confusion.

          “I’m an easy target, don’t you think? Scrawny… Frail… Incapable of fighting back; I’d be the perfect target, wouldn’t you say? If she wanted to, she could easily murder me.” The way he said that disturbed me and sent chills down my spine, as if he enjoyed hearing about his own death.

          “I’m surprised she didn’t murder me when she had the chance. She probably didn’t because she already knew that I don’t taste despair from death, I taste despair from _life_!” He almost had a sing-song laugh at the end of his sentence.

          This is scary, Komaeda is acting really different and it’s scaring me. A lot. I have to snap him out of it.

          “Nagito…” I hissed at him. I never use Komaeda’s first name. Ever.

          I could feel his grip around my stomach loosen out of shock and a way of apologizing… in a way.

          That was close. Komaeda was about to go on a hope rampage and I almost couldn’t stop him. But luckily, I was just in time before he let out his laugh that chilled me to listen to.

          “…I’m sorry, Hinata-kun…” he apologized with sorrow in his voice, showing how sorry he was. “Do you hate me now, Hinata-kun? Can you not stand to be around me anymore?” he sounded a little afraid that I was going to say ‘yes’.

          I sighed annoyed and turned to him.

          “I would never hate you, Komaeda, stop saying shit like that, it’s creepy.” Komaeda gave a soft smile when I said that and looked at me.

          “Then do you love me, Hinata-kun?” I blushed a little and turned back around and away from him quickly so he wouldn’t see me.

 

 

“Go to bed, Komaeda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh Ko getting flirty! Hope you guys enjoyed!


	4. Saturday  Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys woah over 500 veiws?! Over 500 people have veiwed my trash??? Guys whoa. Anyway, this isn't going to be a super important plot chapter but it's not just for fun either. You'll see at the end what I mean. Anyways, thank you so much! Commence the gay!

Another reason I don’t like severe Hope Alerts is because Komaeda moves around in his sleep. A lot. And he actually sleepwalks once in a blue moon.

          The first time he did it was about 3 months into us being roommates.  We were sleeping, but then I felt him crawl over me to get up.

          I didn’t know he was still asleep, so I looked over to see what he was doing.

          He walked over to the corner of the room where the wall and door meet, and he just stood there and started messing around with his T-shirt.

          At first I thought he was just hot, since around that time of year the dorm room does get pretty hot and he was under the covers, so I told him he can borrow one of my tank tops or he could take off his shirt if he was too hot, but he didn’t answer.

          I called his name again, but he still didn’t answer me. It seriously started to freak me out since I probably didn’t register him sleepwalking yet, and I just watched too many horror movies and thought he was being possessed by a ghost or something,

          Finally, I just walked up to him carefully and shook him by the shoulders until he woke up.

          He didn’t really know what was going on for a little bit, since he was looking around sleepily and actually didn’t know who I was at first, but then he came to the realization he was just dreaming and sleepwalking.

          Right now he isn’t sleepwalking, but he still moved around enough for me to wake up.

          It’s now currently 5:00 AM, not the ideal time to wake up on a Saturday, but it’s even worse because Komaeda has an iron grip on me.

          First he wakes me up because he moves me and now it feels like he’s bear-hugging me. For someone who has such skinny arms, he’s actually really strong.

          “H…Hinata-kunnn…” Is he sleep talking or actually calling for me? I tried to turn around so I could see if he was awake, but I forgot he was still holding onto me, so now his arms are around my back. This looks a little suggestive.

          Looking at Komaeda, he’s definitely asleep. I think he’s actually drooling a little bit on the pillows. Komaeda actually looks really cute when he’s sleeping.

          …Did I just call Komaeda cute? I mean, he is, but I’m pretty sure other guys don’t call other guys cute. I think they only do that if they’re related or children.

          “Hinata-kun…” He mumbled sleepily again. In his sleep he pulled me a little bit closer to me, so now my head is just kind of resting in his neck. Is it wrong if I don’t mind being like this right now? I mean… I don’t exactly know why I don’t mind.

          I think right now it’s because I’m comfortable, but isn’t this only something a couple should do?

          That being said… Does Komaeda have feelings for me? I mean… Last night he did ask me if I loved him and he wanted to kiss me a few days ago and looked pretty serious about it… Does this mean anything? Or is he just playing with me? Would Komaeda even joke about that with me?

          And if he does have feelings for me… Do I have feelings for him? I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone before, so I’m not exactly sure that I am…

          Forgetting about it for now, I used up all of my energy to try and worm my way out of Komaeda’s grasp. I actually didn’t move him at all, I just woke Komaeda up.

          “Good morning, Hinata-kun.” He greeted sleepily, but happily.  I wiggled out of his grasp now that he was conscious and he laughed a little bit

          “Is that why you woke me up?” He asked

          “Yeah, you had a death grip on me. What were you dreaming about that made you so attached to me?” Komaeda laughed at my question.

          “I don’t remember all of it, but I think we were playing golf at one point…?” He said with his fingertip on his lip. I started laughing at his answer.

          “What kind of Golf do you play?” I asked him sarcastically “Strip golf?” Komaeda laughed again.

          “If that were the game I think I’d come out fully clothed” I mean, if the rules were ‘If you hit a hole in one you don’t have to strip’ that would absolutely be the case.

          After we got a good laugh this morning I finally told him that he talked in his sleep

          “Hey, did you know you talk in your sleep?” I asked him. He smiled at me and shook his head

          “No, what did I say?”

          “When I woke up, you were just calling my name, so I wanted to see if you were asleep or actually calling for me.” Komaeda laughed at his own actions

          “Is that how we ended up like that? He laughed again, but he had a slight tint of pink on his face.

          “Yeah.” It’s really awkward to explain how you ended up waking up with each other, especially since we’re two guys. But then again, this is Komaeda we’re talking about; he finds a way to talk about everything.

          Komaeda looked out the window and saw how early it was.

          “What time is it?”

          “5:15.”

          After I said that Komaeda plopped right back down on the pillow.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          It’s now around lunch time and Komaeda and I are heading down with Souda, Sonia, Ibuki, and Chiaki to get some lunch.

          “Ibuki is super-duper ready to get some PIZZA!!!” She yelled as she jumped in the air.

          “Mioda-san, in my kingdom we do not have this ‘pizza’. What is it?” Sonia is so naïve about the food here and it’s actually really funny to hear about all the funny food in her country.

          Ibuki gave a shocked looked and grabbed Sonia’s hand and ran to the cafeteria to get Sonia some pizza.

          Ibuki loves teaching Sonia about stuff from our country. She taught her about salted caramel ice cream a few months ago and she fell in love with it at first bite.

          Now Souda pretends to love caramel even though he absolutely hates it.

          Now that I think about it, if Sonia’s favorite food was peanut butter and Souda was allergic to peanuts, he’d probably die.

          We all got in line and I got some sort of sandwich and a Fanta and moved along.

          After we all got our lunches we all sat down and started to chat with each other.

          Sonia took one bite out of her pizza and we could all tell she absolutely loved it.

          “Mioda-san, this pizza is amazing! If only they had it in my country and used Makango meat!” There she goes.

          “Ibuki is glad you like it! Wait until Ibuki teaches you about Skylight Snowcones!” Ibuki was always such a mood maker. No one is ever sad or in a bad mood with her around. Except maybe Kiyotaka Ishimaru who is in the dorm next to her who hates her music being played without earbuds.

          Chiaki softly smile when she bit into her pizza like it was the best food in the world. She ate slowly and yawned in between bites.

          Souda of course got the same this Sonia gets, which I’m impressed he can still keep doing.

          Komaeda tossed the cookie that came with his lunch and gave it to me because he knows how much I love the cafeteria’s sugar cookies.

          “How the hell do you not love these things?” I asked him with a small bite of sugar cookie in my mouth.

          “I don’t like sweet things. I prefer salty things.” He said with a smile.

          Souda smiled with his trademark toothy shark grin and said “Is that why you hang around Hinata all the time?”

          Everyone at the table started to laugh and I felt my face heat up.

          “Maybe you should date him if you love salty things so much” He followed up. Komaeda chuckled a bit.

          “I’ll think about it.”

          “K-Komaeda!” There goes my face again.

          After a few minutes of trying to shut Souda up, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

          I was about to walk back in when someone feebly tapped my shoulder.

          I turned around to see Tsumiki sheepishly standing behind me with something in her hand.

          “U…Uhm! I-I’m sorry for holding you up from l-lunch b-but… uhmm!!” She looked like she was about to have a panic attack or something.

          “I was…Uhm…Told to give you this l-letter to you and… Uhm…!” I thought this girl was going to start crying if she said anything else.

          She shakily handed me the letter and apologized for nothing in particular. I put the letter in my pocket to read later and went to enjoy the rest of my lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          After we finished our lunch we parted ways and went back to our dorms.

          Apparently while I was gone Komaeda spilled his lemonade on himself, so the first thing he wanted to do when we got back was take a shower.

          I swiped my ID card and Komaeda headed for the bathroom while I took the note out of my pocket, unfolded it and read what the note said:

_'Have you ever considered suicide?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:) I am an evil person


	5. Despair Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot stop writing it is so friggin addicting to do. (Plus I have nothing else to do anyway)

          I held the note in my hands that were slightly shaking. What the hell is this?! A death threat?

          It wasn’t signed, it would be completely idiotic if it was signed, but what the hell did I do? And why did Tsumiki give this to me? She couldn’t have written this… Could she? No way…

          She must have been bullied into giving this to me, there’s just no other possibility. Tsumiki does have a really bad habit of getting taken advantage of, after all.

         “Hinata-kun, I have to postpone my shower. I forgot they shut off the water today. Just my luck, huh?” Komaeda walked out of the bathroom with his hand in his hair sheepishly.

          I didn’t realize that I still had the note in my hand, because Komaeda noticed I had it.

          “Hinata-kun, what is that?” He asked with both interest and suspicion. Shit, what should I do? Komaeda is going to go fucking insane if I show him I got a death threat, and I know because he’s reacted to things that don’t even matter.

          Some girl named Natsumi used to rip on a lot of people for being a reserve course student, even though she was one herself, but she was going to be a SHSL student, albeit talking her a long time to. But she always had some sort of attachment on making fun of me, and always told me I didn’t have any friends.

          After Komaeda found that out he showed a clear resentment towards her ever since, and at one point threatened to get involved. I think Komaeda takes Hope’s Peak a little too seriously.

          But I can’t just lie to him… Komaeda really hates being lied to, and it really shows. I think it hurts him a little more than it should, but it’s Komaeda.

          Komaeda never lies unless it’s absolutely necessary, and that’s not a lot. He tells really small white lies, but that’s usually only when he’s in really uncomfortable situation and he wants to find a way out of it, fast.

          I thought about it for a few seconds, but I came to the decision that I can’t lie to Komaeda again. He should at least know what’s going on.

          I reluctantly handed Komaeda the note, and as soon as his eyes came in contact with the paper all the color his face did have went away.

          When he finished reading he had the same reaction I did, but he had an emotion I’ve never seen him have before, it was a mix of him being really panicked and really scared.

          “Hinata-kun…” His voice had changed completely. A few minutes ago we were smiling and laughing at lunch, but now he’s pale, afraid and shocked.

          “…Who gave you this?” He asked. I can tell he’s not in the mood to change the subject about this; it’s as if his green eyes were getting darker and cloudier.

          “Tsumiki gave it to me. When I went to the bathroom at lunch today she stopped me on my way back” Komaeda’s expression went from bad to worse.

          His eyes started to waver a little bit and his hands went for his hair again before I swatted it away and glared at him

          “Komaeda, it’s fine, honestly. It’s probably some stupid shit pertaining to the fact that I’m a reserve course student or whatever, it’s probably nothing.” I tried to reason with him, but it only seemed to make the situation worse.

          “Hinata-kun, if the SHSL Despair so much as touches you, you need to tell me as soon as possible, do you understand?” I know he takes hope and despair really seriously, but it was just one note!

        “What are talking about, ‘the SHSL Despair’? I don’t get what you’re saying at all!”  Komaeda looked at me in shock, like he should know who he was talking about.

          “Junko Enoshima! The SHSL Despair that’s hurt so many! The one I truly hate!” Komaeda was in hysterics, his eyes looked a little different, he looked like he was going to hyperventilate and just looked really scared in general.

          “Eno…shima?” I asked quietly. Oh god, this isn’t going to end well, is it? I should have just told him the truth that I ran into her after school. This probably could’ve been a lot less hard to deal with if I had.

That being said, I should probably tell him about my run in with Enoshima then; I don’t think I should lie to him anymore. Things are serious enough as they are.

          “Komaeda? Can… Can I tell you something?” As soon as he heard me call his name he looked directly at me with concern in his eyes.

          “I…I don’t know what started all this, but what I do know is that she did run into me a few days ago and knew who I was.” Komaeda now had a mix of hurt, panicked and fear in his eyes.

          “Enoshima… ran into you…?” Was this a bad decision after all? I mean… I’m glad I don’t have to lie anymore, but I’m starting to get really worried for Komaeda, especially if Enoshima is the SHSL Despair like he says.

          It’s not like I don’t trust him… but Enoshima? From what I saw of her, she was probably just some bipolar model. There’s no way she’s some ultra-despair bullshit, right…?

          “Hajime.” Uh oh. Guess I’m not the only one who can use someone’s first name when I’m upset with them.

          “Listen to me, please. When the SHSL Despair comes into contact with you, it might’ve already been too late. She could have already have figured out how to send you in despair.” He is seriously starting to freak me out. What the hell is wrong with him?

          I think he could tell how uncomfortable I was, because his expression softened just a bit so he didn’t scare me too much.

          “…I need to go, Hinata-kun. Please do not leave the dorm room while I’m gone, okay?” I think I have to stay now that I’ve just fueled Komaeda’s hope craze, I feel as if I have to stay now.

          Komaeda exited the dorm room and I stayed behind like he asked me too. How long is he going to be gone? What’s he going to be doing? Should I be worried?

          I shook off the last thought, and tried to think positively of what he could be doing and make a joke out of it.

          _‘Maybe he’s gonna fight Enoshima’_ I laughed at my thought of Komaeda fighting. Komaeda could never fight anyone; he’s just not that kind of person.

          That reminds me; didn’t I think Komaeda was going to punch me the first day we were placed as roommates? Thinking about it now is just ridiculous, because I know Komaeda would never punch me unless I was out to kill him or something.

          I pulled out my cellphone, and texted Chiaki to pass time.

_‘Hey, I was bored and wanted to text you, since Komaeda’s gone out for some reason.’_

_‘Huh? Komaeda-kun’s gone somewhere? Doing what?’_

_‘I dunno, I told him about some letter I received from Tsumiki and it was a note that said I should consider suicide and Komaeda freaked out about Junko the SHSL Despair. Do you know anything about this?’_

_‘What? Tsumiki gave that to you?’_

_‘Yeah. I think she was bullied into giving it to me.’_

          Strangely enough, she didn’t respond to me past that. Is she going to confront Tsumiki about it? She is a close friend of hers, after all. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was.

          Since she didn’t respond I just texted Souda for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          A few hours have passed and still no sign of Komaeda. Glancing at the clock, it’s already 7:30! What the hell is Komaeda doing that takes that long?

          I decided to text him to make sure he was alright and didn’t get beat up or something.

_‘Komaeda, you okay? Where are you?’_

          I put my phone down to wait for a response, and it came a few minutes later.

_“I’m alright, Hinata-kun. I just wanted to get a few things done. I’ll be back soon.’_

After waiting about 5 minutes, Komaeda came back from wherever he went, and didn’t exactly look the happiest.

          Well, he looked better and not crazy from earlier, but he certainly didn’t look very happy.

          “Did you go beat her up, Ko?” I laughed. Komaeda let out a small laugh as well.

          “No, but I tried to resolve the problem.” He stood in silence for a few seconds before he sat down next to me.

          “…Hey, Hinata-kun…?” He asked quietly. I looked over to him and he had his arms wrapped around his legs

          “Yeah?”

          “…Do you…really want to be roommates with me?” What? Why the hell is he asking this now? And why?

          “What? Of course I do! You’re my best friend, Komaeda.” Komaeda smiled a bit but then lost it a few seconds in.

          “But… Are you sure? Aren’t you afraid that my luck is going to harm you? What if it kills you?” That’s really weird; Komaeda usually keeps a positive tone on his luck.

          “Huh? No… Not really… Why?” Komaeda’s eyes had sorrow in them, which isn’t something I see in him a lot.

          “Hinata-kun… You’re the only thing my luck hasn’t taken away from me yet. My luck has taken everything from me, my parents, my dog and my health… But it hasn’t taken you yet…” What’s wrong with him? What did he do while he was gone to make him think like this?

          “Komaeda… I don’t care what your luck does; I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Komaeda stared at me in shock, as if I had killed someone in front of him. He settled down a bit, but then teared up.

“Then why am I so scared of falling in love with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He finally did it! Too bad you'll have to wait to see what happens next!


	6. Hopeful Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking shit I never though this fic would become so popular. 70+ kudos????? Holy crap you guys I just cannot. <3

          I froze. What do I say? Do I say I love him? Do I love him? I think I do… But am I sure?

          “Hinata-kun…” He said again. It’s so weird to see Komaeda crying. It’s almost like he’s worn a mask the whole time he’s lived with me. Whenever he was upset about something he’d hide it and just say that he was fine and shrug it off.

          “Every day I worry I’m falling in love with you… I’m going to hurt you, Hinata-kun… I’ll give you so much despair that even I might not even have the hope to go on… and hope… Hope is the reason I haven’t killed myself yet…” Komaeda was suicidal?

          There’s still so much I don’t know about Komaeda and I’m almost a little scared to find out more about him.

          “Hinata-kun… I can’t fall in love with you… I’ll end up killing you…” I can’t entirely understand what Komaeda is saying, but I think he’s trying to say that his luck is going to ruin the only good thing he has.

          “You’ve got that wrong, Komaeda.” When I said that, he looked at me and it gave me a better look of his face. He looked like he was crying really hard, tears stained his face and cheeks and some tears were still dripping down to his chin.

          “Wh…what?” He looked at me like I just spoke an entirely different language.

          “If you think your luck controls your life, then you think this itself counts as luck, right?” I need to crack the code of Komaeda’s thought process.

         “You think that this is good luck, right? But since you think your luck balances out, if you fall in love with me you’ll accidentally hurt me, right? And it’s good luck that I’m in love with you, so you think your luck is going to hurt me, right?” Komaeda gave me a small nod.

          “Komaeda, all of the bad stuff you thought you caused was in the past! But Komaeda… This… This is the future! A hopeful future!” I’m really hoping mentioning something about hope will get through to him.

          It’s not very easy to beat Komaeda in a debate. The most heated debates in our class always happen between the same two people; Chiaki and Komaeda. Both of them are very hard to beat in a debate and challenging them can be a horrible move if you aren’t careful.

          I once tried to challenge Chiaki to a debate, and it turns out I wasn’t ready to because she absolutely destroyed me.

          I took another look at Komaeda and once again, he looked like he was about to cry, but of tears of joy this time around.

          All of a sudden, Komaeda leapt forward into me, as if his luck wasn’t even an issue anymore.

          I put my hand on his head to try and pull him closer, but I think I got too caught up in how soft his hair was to even do it. So I guess I am in love with Komaeda. It feels good to know after debating it back in forth in my head all day.

          We must have stayed there for a while before we finally let go of each other and laughed for some reason.

          “Can I sleep in your bed again, Hinata-kun?” He asked quietly. I laughed at his question a little bit.

          “So are we just going to pretend that your bed just doesn’t exist anymore?”

          “Is that a yes or a no, Hinata-kun?”

          I exhaled with a sort of “pft” sound coming out and rolled my eyes at him.

          “Whatever, Komaeda.” I guess that was his invitation to crawl in my bed for tonight.

          Even though it was only 7:50 I was still tired from all this ‘SHSL Despair’ bullshit. Hell, Komaeda is probably even more tired than me, since he probably tried to investigate the matter or whatever the hell he did after his hope meltdown.

          I got into the bed next to him and I came to the sudden realization that I would have to deal with him moving around in his sleep as longs as we’re dating.

          Komaeda wrapped his arms around my back and nestled his head into my shoulder like he was some lonely puppy. His hair was in my face and it smelled like lemonade. It’s as if nothing were wrong in the first place.

          “You smell like Lemonade, Komaeda.” I said quietly I’m actually surprised he still smells like it, since it was almost 7 hours ago, but then again he did spill it all over himself so maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised.

          “Well, I didn’t take a shower, after all. Why are you smelling me, anyway?” I laughed quietly at his question

          “Well, I can’t really help it since you’re right in front of me, you know. Plus that stuff is potent” I really like it like this. I hope all this shit about the SHSL Despair will work itself out. Komaeda is nice and calm and I’d like to keep it that way.

          “Hey, Hinata-kun” He whispered quietly

          “Yeah?”

          “Earlier when you were talking about my luck, you said it was good luck that you were in love with me.” I could feel his smirk against the skin of my neck. “I never heard you saying anything about loving me before that” I felt my face darken when he said that.

          “Shut up or you’re sleeping in your bed”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who delivered the fluff.


	7. Maraschino Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused about the title, Maraschino is a type of cherry. Also, get ready for the fluff!

When I woke up this morning, it was surprisingly late for people who went to bed at eight o’ clock at night.

          Komaeda is still asleep and still has an iron grip on me. Looks like another thing I’ll have to deal with when he wants to go to bed with me.

          While Komaeda was asleep, I started thinking about our situation. Should we tell our friends? Who should we tell? I think the only people I should tell are Chiaki and maybe Sonia.

          I already know that Ibuki is out, since she can’t keep a secret to save her life, and while Souda is my best friend, I still think he’d give it away by accidentally saying a joke about us or something.

          While I do trust Sonia, I wouldn’t want to tell her since I’m not sure what she’s thinking. Sonia is a very naïve person and probably won’t know if she’s giving it away or not. I guess the only person I fully trust is Chiaki with this.

          Should I tell Komaeda I want to keep our relationship a secret? I’m not sure what he wants to do, but what does he want? Komaeda is a very personal and independent person, so I don’t think he’d have a problem keeping this a secret.

          Plus, if Enoshima is this ‘SHSL Despair’ I don’t think Komaeda would take too kindly to Enoshima knowing that we’re together.

          Looking at the clock on the wall, it’s almost 8:45! Breakfast is at 9:00, so I should really try and wake up Komaeda so we do not miss breakfast.

          Breakfast is almost like a ritual for us, and if someone misses it even once, you just earned a ticked to get ripped on by Souda for the rest of the month.

          Komaeda was still holding onto me, so I tried squirming like last time but sadly, to no avail.

          I heard him groan as a sign of disapproval, and he cuddled into my neck even more.

          “Komaeda, come on, get up.” I tried to push him off, but his arms were just too damn strong.

          He groaned again and kept holding onto me, showing no signs of letting me go anytime soon.

          “Komaeda, we’re going to miss breakfast, get up.” Once again he grumbled into my shoulder.

          “Hinata-kun, I’m tired…”

          “Well could you at least let me get up so at least I can go to breakfast?” Komaeda reluctantly let me go so I could get up and get dressed and leave.

          Walking out the door, I noticed that Chiaki was standing by her dorm room across from us.

          “Oh, were you waiting for me?” Chiaki yawned and nodded before we walked down to the cafeteria.

          After Chiaki and I got our lunch, I noticed that only Chiaki and Sonia were with us at breakfast this morning.

          “Where’s everyone else?” I asked them. Sonia put her finger to her lips, in an attempt to think.

          “…I think Souda and Ibuki were hanging out last night, so they might have stayed up too late and are too tired to join us now.” Chiaki said with a pause before her words.

          “But where is Komaeda-san, then?” Sonia asked me.

          “Oh, Komaeda is asleep. He wouldn’t get up so I had to basically pry him off of me this morning.” Chiaki oddly stared at me for a few seconds

          “…You and Komaeda-kun slept together last night?” Shit! I forgot we only used to do that when there was a hope alert!

          “Oh, wow! Is this what the boys do here in this country? They sleep together?” Sonia asked with a glint in her eye.

         “Wha-! No!” Her smile was now replaced with a baffled look and a tilt of her head. I guess now I have to tell Sonia, now.

          “Hey… Can I tell you guys something?” I asked the group, and Chiaki looked me in the eye.

          “…Are you and Komaeda-kun dating?” Chiaki asked almost without hesitation. How the hell did she figure that out so quickly?!

          “W…Well, yeah… but right now, do you guys mind keeping it a secret? I don’t really want anyone knowing about it yet.” Sonia tilted her head again.

          “Why would you want to keep your love a secret, Hinata-san? In my country, love is such a wonderful thing!”

          “Isn’t that almost every country?” Sonia shook her head at me.

        “Oh no, Hinata-san! In my country, love is expressed in the most wonderful ways!” I smiled at her talking about love in her country. I guess there’s one normal thing about her country.

          “…How is love shown in your country, Sonia?” Chiaki asked her. Without hesitation, Sonia clapped her hands together.

          “Oh, It’s wonderful, Nanami-san! Preteen couples exchanging their Makangos and Skongs! It’s adorable to see young love!” Looks like I spoke too soon about one thing about Sonia’s country being normal.

          “But nevermind that, why would you want to keep your relationship a secret, Hinata-san?” Sonia asked in a confused voice.

          “Recently Komaeda has been freaking out about this ‘SHSL Despair’ and Junko Enoshima and I don’t think he’ll take very kindly to them knowing about us.” They both nodded their heads, and Chiaki said that knowing Komaeda, that’s probably the best option.

          “…Have you gone on any cute dates yet?” Chiaki asked with a yawn before it.

          “O...Oh, no, we just started yesterday, we didn’t have time to do that” Interested, Chiaki stared at me with curiosity in her eyes.

          “…Then have you kissed yet?” Taken aback by her sudden question, I tried to cover my face so they wouldn’t see it redden

          “Wha-! No! Like I said, we only started dating yesterday!” Chiaki slightly puffed out her cheeks at me.

          “Hinata-kun, a relationship where you haven’t kissed yet is like Ash without Pikachu!”  She huffed a little angrily.

          “Why are you so concerned about it?”

          “Because, Hinata-kun, if this were a dating sim you’d fail to complete his route!”

          “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”

          Chiaki gave me a quiet huff and we finished the rest of our breakfast.

          Opening the door to the dorm, Komaeda was dressed and awake now, and his hair was also slightly wet. I guess he finally got that shower.

          “Good morning, Hinata-kun. I’m sorry I didn’t come to breakfast this morning. Did everyone make fun of me?”” All elements of him being tired have disappeared and Komaeda is smiling like he always is.

          “Hey, Komaeda, can I talk to you for a second?” I sat on my bed and patted the empty space next to me to signal for him to sit down next to me.

          “What is it, Hinata-kun?” He asked sitting next to me.

          “I… I kind of want to keep our relationship a secret… I mean, just for now!” Shit, I am not good at talking right now.

          “It’s alright, I understand, Hinata-kun. I wouldn’t want to see myself with trash like me either.” I narrowed my eyes at him as a warning.

          “Ah, I’m sorry Hinata-kun truly.” He said as he held my hand. For some reason I get really embarrassed when Komaeda is romantic with me. It’s not like I don’t like it, but it’s just really awkward.

          I think Komaeda must have felt my hand flinch at his sudden touch, because he looked at me apologetically and took his hand away. Now we’re just kind of sitting next to each other in awkward silence.

          Should I listen to what Chiaki said? Should I make a move now? What should I do?

          “Hey, Komaeda?” He turned to look at me. Shit! I don’t know what to say! I spoke to early!

          “Uh… Do you want to see if the cherry theory is correct?” That probably sounded really dumb now that I think about what I said.

         “Hinata-kun, are you asking to kiss me?” He asked with a sly smirk. Damn this guy.

          My face went red as Komaeda put his hand back over mine and scooted a little closer to me.

          I turned myself to get a better angle and leaned forward. This isn’t awkward or anything.

          I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. And the thing is Komaeda seems fine, but he’s much better at covering up his emotions than me.

          I think my hands are slightly shaking, but Komaeda settled it since he was holding it.

          I worked up the courage to put my other free hand on his shoulder but it didn’t cover up that fact that I was still really bad at this.

          We broke free after a few seconds and Komaeda giggled a little bit.

          “I think the cherry theory is true if that’s how you kiss.”

          “Shut up, Komaeda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally did it! Whoo! I have to admit for some reason writing romantic scenes are very awkward for me for some reason, but I did it! XD Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Iced Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you guys so much for 100+ Kudos I just cannot believe this, you people are insane. Anyways, this chapter will be a cute one, so the fluff will start right now!

          Isn’t it refreshing when something normal happens when everything previous was super weird? I don’t get that feeling a lot since I’m with Komaeda.

          In fact, that almost never happens with Komaeda around, so when we tried to plan a date it didn’t go very easy.

          Komaeda’s luck makes Komaeda very cautious, since his luck makes him so prone to danger. And since he figured that out, almost every possible date idea I could think of got shot down because Komaeda found something wrong with it.

          “How about we get lunch together? That’s safe, right?” Komaeda shook his head.  
          “No, Hinata-kun. They could accidentally put something I’m allergic to by accident.” I rolled my eyes at him.

         “Komaeda, since when are you allergic to anything?” I asked, not buying his excuse.

          “Anything can happen with luck, Hinata-kun.” I sighed and mentally crossed off a lunch date in my head.

          “Okay, how about we go to an amusement park? Those are fun, right?” Once again, Komaeda shook his head.

          “Too noisy. Plus the roller coasters are dangerous.” Actually I should have suspected that one. Komaeda really hates noisy places to the extent where he will wait until the halls clear after school. I sighed and thought of more ideas.

          “How about we get some coffee and take a walk somewhere?” Komaeda thought about it and finally agreed that that was safe enough.

          After we got off of school grounds, Komaeda asked if he could hold my hand since we were off campus.

          I laughed softly at Komaeda’s question, since I know Komaeda loves attention. I think I could bet my scholarship to Hope’s Peak that holding my hand is at least one of his favorite things.

          I think part of the reason he loves it so much is because we can’t really show affection that much during the day.

          But it’s refreshing to know that I can hold his hand and no one will be suspicious of us.

          “What coffee shop do you want to go to?” I asked him. He thought about it for a little bit but then shook his head.

          “The same one as last time is fine, Hinata-kun.” After he said that he chuckled to himself

          “Remember that kid that punched you on the way back?” I rolled my eyes and made a ‘Pft’ sound at him.

          “Ha ha, Komaeda. That really hurt, you know.” Komaeda smiled at my response.

          “Do you want me to kiss your arm to make it feel better?”

          “No, mainly because that was 3 months ago.” Komaeda seemed to be having a really good time.

          Arriving at the coffee shop, the barista turned to us and had a bright smile.

          “Good afternoon, guys!” She had brown hair and a cheery smile. She walked up to the counter to take our order.

          “Hey, are you guys from Hope’s Peak? My brother goes there!” She said with a smile.

          “Sorry for getting off track, but I was asking because Hope’s Peak students get 10 percent off!” I looked at Komaeda and I think we registered the same thing: ‘That was good luck’

          “Oh, yeah, we are.” I told her while me and Komaeda handed over our student ID cards.

          She looked at it and asked us what we’d like to order. Komaeda ordered an iced coffee but he didn’t put anything like cream or sugar in it. I also got an iced coffee but I made it drinkable.

          After we paid, the barista smiled.

         “Have a good afternoon!” she said as we walked out. I smiled at how nice she was. I looked over at Komaeda and his drink

          “How the hell do you drink that stuff?” I asked him with a laugh.

          “I’d imagine you’d do it by putting the cup to your lips and sipping?” I laughed at how that was such a Komaeda response.

          “Where would you like to walk to, Hinata-kun?” I found it a little ironic he’s asking this now since he was freaking out about safety a few minutes ago.

          “Is the park safe enough for you?” I playfully taunted. Thankfully Komaeda laughed at and agreed the park was the best place to go.

          It was about 5:30, so it wasn’t dark, but the whole time we walked to the park the mosquitos just wouldn’t leave Komaeda alone.

          Every few minutes he’d have to check his arm and half the time he would have to smack it. I think Komaeda especially hated it because he’d have to let go of my hand to smack the mosquito.

          Still sipping my iced coffee (which was a little watered down) we finally got to the park and started to walk around and talk about miscellaneous things.

          “I really enjoy things that are cold. It’s too bad most things that are cold are sweet.” Komaeda said while looking forward.

          “Well, popsicles aren’t too sweet, depending on what kind you get. Maybe you’d enjoy those.” Komaeda gave his signature breathy laugh.

          “Maybe I will. And if they’re too sweet for me I’m sure you’d enjoy it,” He sipped his coffee which was actually about a quarter full. Komaeda must have been pretty thirsty.

          After walking around for a while, Komaeda started to get pretty out of breath. While Komaeda can run, his stamina is really, really bad.

          Once when we were taking P.E we had to do track and field, and I honestly thought Komaeda was going to pass out or throw up or something, because he looked really bad.

          Thankfully, he was just fine, but Tsumiki advised him not to do that again or he could end up getting sick from stress and exhaustion.

          “If I didn’t know you too well I would think you’d have sickle cell disease or something, your stamina is so low.” Komaeda chuckled at me.

          “Well, I am prone to illness, so it would surprise me either” I actually didn’t notice until he said it, but Komaeda does get sick a lot.

          Once he was out of school for a whole week with a really nasty flu. At one point he was shivering and must have had to drink 3 cups of tea a day or something he was so sick.

          I stayed to take care of him the first few days, but I eventually had to go back since I wasn’t the one sick.

          We sat on the bench for a while before Komaeda’s breathing became normal again.

          “I think I’m fine now, Hinata-kun. Thank you.” He said with a smile. He leaned closer to me and kissed my cheek

          “Thank you for taking me out. I guess my luck didn’t bother us as much as I thought it would. Maybe we can go to lunch sometime.

         I smiled at how happy Komaeda was. It’s rare to see Komaeda truly happy like this. Seeing Komaeda smile is enough to make me pretty happy, too.

          We eventually got back on school grounds, so Komaeda let go of my hand when we got in.

          We walked into our dorm hallway and walked up to our room. I swiped my student ID card and walked in.

          I noticed a few envelopes on the ground, which I didn’t find strange since mail gets delivered to us all the time.

          I looked through them and most of them were just school related stuff like important dates, but one of them wasn’t like the other.

          It was just an envelope, with no name saying who it was from and it didn’t have a stamp.

          I opened it and there seemed to be two things, a picture and a piece of paper. Looking at the picture, my eyes widened a little bit at what I saw.

          It was a picture of us at the park when Komaeda kissed my cheek, and the note below it made me even more freaked out.

_“If you don’t want this getting out, end it.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all probably hate me now XD Anyways, this is just something I notice, when I write a rough draft for my fanfiction, I always end up listening to the SDR2 execution music and "Miss Monomi's Practice Lesson" I don't know why. But that's just a little triva for ya! I'll see you guys next chapter!


	9. Ending it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again! I'm really glad you guys are enjoying the series, so here is another chapter for you guys! I really really appreciate you guys leaving feedback so I just cannot thank you enough for reading, just thank you little lovelies!

I stared at the note in shock. Is someone stalking us?! And what do they mean by ‘end it’?

          “Hinata-kun, what’s wrong?” Komaeda asked with concern. Shit, are we really going to do this again? I mean, I _have_ to tell Komaeda, but he’s going to go insane if he finds out someone knows about us.

          “Komaeda, look at this.” My voice had a tinge of fear and worry in it, how could it not? Someone is stalking us and probably trying to blackmail us.

          I handed him the two items and after he saw what they were, his face had a mixture of fear, sadness and anger, which isn’t easy to see from Komaeda.

          “Hinata-kun, where did you get this from?” He had fear in his voice too.

          “It was mixed in with the mail, but it didn’t say who it was from or have a stamp on it.” I looked up at Komaeda and he looked really scared. His breathing was shaky, he was trying to refrain himself from pulling his hair and looked like he was about to lose it.

          In the end he ended up in wrapping his arms around himself as an attempt to comfort himself, and it looked like he was in a strait jacket.

          “…What do you think they mean?” I asked after a brief moment of silence.

         “I mean… What do you think the ‘end it’ means? The term ‘end it’ is kind of vague, so, what do you think they want us to end?” In truth, I think I did know what they wanted; I just didn’t want to think about it.

          Komaeda turned to me, but tried to avoid eye contact, like he couldn’t look me in the eye to say it.

          “I think…” He started, taking a pause. “I think they want us to end our relationship…” There it is.

          I winced slightly when he said that. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.

          I really don’t want to break up with Komaeda. As creepy and weird he is sometimes, I still love him, I’m positive Komaeda feels the same way I do about this.

          I felt Komaeda’s hand grasp mine, and he held it really tightly; like he were searching for some sort of assurance.

          “Hinata-kun… I really don’t want to break up with you…” His voice was still shaky and it sounded like he was going to cry. I feel like I want to cry, too.

          “I don’t want to break up with you either, Komaeda…” I kept thinking what would happen if people found out.

          While Hope’s Peak has a great reputation among the public, it also has a reputation for bullying and suicide among the students.

          While students are talented, they also seem to pray on the less talented and more talented out of envy or sheer cruelty.

          So even though Hope’s Peak is prestigious, Hope’s Peak has had some suicides in the past due to some students being envious of talents other students have had.

          A few years ago, before me and Komaeda were in Hope’s Peak, The SHSL Volleyball player, Yui Himura commit suicide because she was transgender. Not only was she rejected by students, some people wouldn’t let her play in games because of who she was.

          Another year, the SHSL Ballet Dancer, Emi Fujioka was in the hospital in critical condition for a while after having a severe allergic reaction to peanuts. Apparently someone had intentionally put them in her lunch because they were jealous of her talent, since she was one of the top students in grades and talent.

          Is that going to happen to us? Will we be bullied and rejected like those students? And with this SHSL Despair, what’s going to happen to us if other people find out?

          Komaeda’s mental state isn’t the best in the first place; I don’t think he could handle the stress of bullying along with it. And as for me, I’m already teased for being a reserve course in a school meant for talented people, so I don’t exactly know how well I’m going to do.

          Thinking about our options, I sat in silence. Could we fake a break up? If so, we shouldn’t be obvious about it, especially since people don’t even know about us yet, and if we do it in front of the SHSL Despair, they’re going to know what’s going on and be suspicious.

          Maybe we could just stop seeing each other in school and just show affection in our dorms? That would mean we can’t go on any dates, and anytime I’d want to spend time with him, I’d have to bring a friend or two along so they don’t get suspicious.

          “Hey, Komaeda, maybe we could trick the SHSL Despair into thinking we’ve broke up, we just avoid each other in the hallways and outside of class? They might think we aren’t seeing each other anymore.” Komaeda looked at me and thought.

          “While that is good thinking, Enoshima is very smart. I think she’d try and break us up as roommates as well.” I felt my eyes widen. Can she really do that? The school almost never removes roommates, ever.

          The only time they’ve ever tried to do this (as far as I know) was with Mondo Oowada and Kiyotaka Ishimaru when they were constantly feuding. They were going to remove them and give them their own dorms, but they soon became best friends and they went to Headmaster Jin and told him they were fine and have set aside their differences.

          Could Enoshima really do this? Could she pull that trigger? I guess if she is doing all this and stalking us, then I guess she is the SHSL Despair after all.

          Komaeda then made a face like he had just gotten an idea.

          “We could also avoid being at lunch together. You could talk about it with Nanami-san. I think she would know what to do.” I nodded.

          Now that I think about it, Chiaki helps me a lot. We rely on her for advice in some situations, and I honestly don’t know if she can help me with this. Does she know about Enoshima enough to help? I decided to stop thinking about it for now.

          Looking at the clock, it was only about 7:35. I sighed in frustration and told Komaeda we should probably go to bed. We never go to bed this early, but every time this kind of shit happens we almost have to since it wears us out so much.

          I got into more comfortable clothes and waited for Komaeda to come out of the bathroom from changing.

          After a few more seconds, he finally came back out. He also sighed in stress.

          It’s really rare to see Komaeda stressed. He’s usually so positive; it’s so weird to see him negative.

          I walked up to him and softly (and quickly) kissed him in some sort of attempt to cheer him up. Thankfully, he did smile softly.

          “I’m hoping this means you aren’t planning on breaking up with me any time soon.”

          I lightly punched his arm and got into bed with him so we could just calm down.

          I think Komaeda could tell I was still stressed, because he put his hand on the back of my head and slowly moved it in an attempt to calm me down.

          I’m just hoping this turns out okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          When I woke up, everything was dark. It was also softly raining outside. It must be 2 am or something.

          Komaeda was still holding onto me, but not very tightly for once.

          Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, I like to think. I don’t know why, I guess it’s just become a habit of mine.

          If Junko Enoshima really is this SHSL Despair (Which I am pretty sure she is) I should probably confront her.

          As much a Komaeda would urge me not to, I have to figure out why she’s doing this.

          Surely it can’t be that bad. And if it is, at least I’ll get a chance to figure out a little bit more about her.

          That being said, I should ask Tsumiki to tell Enoshima to meet me somewhere Komaeda won’t find me so I can confront her.

          Tsumiki almost never turns down a request, and is also friends with her, so I should probably be good on getting her to meet me.

          The only problem is where. I could probably ask her to meet me near the courtyard. Komaeda never goes there, and I could probably just tell Komaeda I’m going somewhere else.

          As much as I hate lying, I really have to do this. I need to figure out what she’s trying to do.

          After thinking for a while, I decided to stop and get some rest. I slowly closed my eyes and let the soft rain lull me to sleep.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scared you with the title? I'm evil like that. XD Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed another chapter, and I'll see you next chapter.


	10. Confronting Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I'm back with another chapter and I absolutely assure you that you will be feeling the despair today~

          Lunch has never felt so far away before in my life. I’m sitting in History and I’m just waiting for the class to be over so I can tell Chiaki and Sonia what’s up.

          Komaeda and I agreed that we wouldn’t sit together at lunch today and that he’d sit with Ibuki and Souda at another table.

         I told Chiaki this morning that Komaeda and I wouldn’t sit together at lunch today, but Ibuki and Souda should sit with him at another table for two reasons: So he isn’t alone, and so me, Chiaki and Sonia can talk about this whole thing.

          Tapping my pencil against the desk nervously, I sighed anxiously. I felt sick.

          I’m planning to meet Enoshima in the courtyard after school, and try to figure this crazy shit out.

          After a while, the bell rang and I don’t think I’ve gotten up out of my chair any faster.

          Finding Chiaki, we both walked down to the cafeteria together, and without Komaeda.

          When we got down to the cafeteria, we got our lunches, but I have a feeling I won’t be eating too much of it. I notice I don’t eat a lot when I’m stressed. I think that’s normal, but it just feels really odd knowing that I _forget_ to eat.

          We sat down, and Sonia and Tsumiki were already sitting at the table with their lunches.

          “Tsumiki? What are you doing at our table?” Tsumiki either sits alone or with Mukuro Ikusaba. Tsumiki whimpered and guarded herself with her arms

          “I…! I’m sorry!!! I’ll…! I’ll go away if you don’t want me here!!” I managed to stop her before she went on a crying fit and ran off.

          “N…No! I was only asking because you usually sit with other people, so I was just wondering.” Tsumiki whimpered again, but she put her hand near her mouth before she spoke.

          “Ch…Chiaki doesn’t like me hanging around Junko… S…So…” I smiled a little bit knowing Tsumiki is keeping Chiaki’s feelings in mind.

          Tsumiki isn’t exactly the type of person to manage her own feelings very well, much less manage her friend’s feelings. Hell, I don’t think Tsumiki’s ever really had any friends before Chiaki, so keeping in mind how she feels must be kind of hard for her.

          Tsumiki looked around at the table, noticing how empty it was.

          “Wh…Where’s Ibuki, Souda and Komaeda…? D…Don’t they usually sit here t…too?” Should I tell her? I mean, I highly doubt she’d want to know, but…

          “They’re sitting somewhere else today.” Tsumiki started to mess around with her hands like she was really nervous.

          “Wh…Why aren’t they here…? D…Did they leave because of me…? I…I’m sorry!! I’ll leave if you want me to!” As bad as I feel for her, she can be a real piece of work sometimes.

          “Well, I can’t exactly get into the details, but Komaeda and I are trying to avoid each other.” Tsumiki looked a little confused.

          “H...Huh? Wh…Why would you avoid each other…? D…Don’t friends p…pay attention to each other…?” Even though I know Tsumiki was just confused, I sighed in frustration.

          “Well, someone sent a strange letter to us saying we can’t see each other anymore or she’ll get involved, and I think the person who sent it is Junko Enoshima.”

          Tsumiki slightly flinched at that name. Not exactly a _bad_ type of flinch, but just a surprised flinch.

         “J…Junko sent you the letter…?” I should probably ask her about Junko now, then.

          “So that being said, Tsumiki, do you mind asking Enoshima if she can meet me in the courtyard at 4:00 today?” Tsumiki quickly nodded as if I had her at gunpoint or something.

          “Ah! Yes! I’ll do anything!” She slightly cowered behind Chiaki’s arm and held onto it.

          “…Hinata-kun, what do you plan on doing?” Chiaki asked me, a bit of worry in her voice.

          “I plan on telling her that we’ve broken up and set things straight.”

          “Even though it’s a lie?”

          I sighed in defeat. I know it’s a lie, but it’s the only thing I can really do right now.

          “It’s not the smartest move, I know, but I have to settle this now.” It took a lot of effort to say that. Deep down, I was really scared. I’m always scared of the unknown and it just freaks me out thinking about what’s going to happen.

          “…If anything goes wrong while you’re there, you’ll have to tell Komaeda-kun. Promise me that, Hinata-kun.” She is right about that; if I do run into trouble with Enoshima while I’m there, there’s no way I _wouldn’t_ tell Komaeda.

         “Yeah, I promise.” He others all smiled, even Tsumiki, and she almost never smiles.

          “Good luck to you, Hinata-san!” Sonia said with a smile.

          “Thanks, Sonia. I think I’ll really need it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Usually it’s really refreshing being in my dorm room but now it’s just really stressful. I have to face Enoshima and get things straight.

          It’s almost 4 o clock and Komaeda is at his desk doing his homework. What should I say? Should I just say I’m going to Chiaki’s? No, that’s too see through, he’d know right away something’s fishy. Plus Chiaki is right across from our dorm.

          I feel like a really shitty person knowing what lie to say is going to get found out.

          Thinking some more, I actually thought of something that’s believable.

          “Hey, Komaeda, I’m going to the store to get shampoo, do you want anything?” I don’t even know how much shampoo we have left but at this point I don’t even care.

          “No, I don’t want anything. Should I come with you, Hinata-kun?” Shit, I have to find a way out of this one.

          “Uh…! No!” I think I said that a little too quickly, because Komaeda’s looking at me strangely.

          “S…sorry, Komaeda. I’m just still a little shaken up about that letter. I don’t want you to come since Enoshima might still be watching us.”

          “Oh, I see, Hinata-kun. That’s probably a better choice anyways.” Komaeda then got up and kissed my cheek.

          “I’ll see you when you get back.”  I now feel really bad that I’m actually about to see Junko Enoshima.

          I walked out of the dorm and almost instantly regret doing this. Walking down the halls, I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm my nerves. It worked a little bit, but it was still pretty damn scary knowing that you’re about to come face to face with your boyfriend’s greatest enemy. And especially if their title is ‘SHSL Despair’

          When I got to the courtyard, Enoshima was already there waiting for me. The girl with the monochrome bear hairpins.

          “Hey there, Hajime.” One hand was near her mouth and the other was resting against her chest. I guess that’s one more personality to add to the list.

          “Why did you call me here, Hajime? Did you come here to seduce me?” What in the hell is she trying to do?

          “Wh-! No!” Enoshima laughed at me being flustered.

          “I’m just kidding, I’m sorry. I would never try to flirt with someone who already has a _boyfriend_.” So she _does_ know. Komaeda was right, she _was_ sending those letters.

          “So it _was_ you.” I glared at her, but she kept smiling slyly at me.

          “Listen, Enoshima, I came here to tell you that Komaeda and I broke up.” Enoshima shifted personalities again, but she actually pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on.

          “Oh really? Is it now?” She asked with intrigue.

          “Yes, it is. I’ve done what you wanted now please, leave us alone.” I was about to walk away until she said something.

          “I think you’re lying.” I stopped dead in my tracks. Why does she think we’re lying?

          “Wh…what do you mean?” Enoshima smiled slyly at me again. She looked almost evil.

          “I mean that I think you’re faking. You’re lying low so I think that you aren’t seeing each other but in reality you’re actually still together.”  What the hell is happening?! Why does she know all this?!

          “Listen, I know Komaeda. I knew him for a long time, and if you two had broken up, I would have seen so much despair on his _miserable_ goddamn face!” She pushed up her glasses and she snickered to herself. I felt my fists clench and my mood worsen.

          “W…Why…?!” Is all I could choke out at the moment, but I tried again. “Why are you doing this?!” Enoshima burst out into malicious laughter and her glasses fell off. Now she was hysterical and her hands were by her face. I think she was even drooling.

          “Because _despair!!!”_ She cried out, still in hysterics. I don’t know what my face looked like right then, but I’m pretty sure she was enjoying every bit of pain it held.

          “There! Right there! That face is exactly what I love seeing! Isn’t despair such a _wonderful_ feeling?!” I got really scared. I was ready to fucking run away and never see this bitch’s face again. But I was frozen, I couldn’t move.

          Enoshima walked up to me and smiled darkly at me. I don’t even want to see her face right now.

          “You two have a week to break up before I tell everyone that you two are dating.” She caressed her finger up my chin and she had an evil smile on her face.

          “I wonder how much despair this would cause you?” Before I even found out what that meant she leaned forward and kissed me, and I couldn’t even let go.

          This is disgusting, not only is this girl fucking insane but she has the nerve to kiss me when she knows that I only kiss one other person, and we don’t even kiss that often.

          After she had finally let go, she laughed even more, probably about how hurt I looked. I felt really hurt.

          As if nothing else mattered, I ran. I ran as fast as I goddamn could and never looked back at that crazy ass girl. I heard her laughing and she yelled something as I ran away.

 

          _“You’ve got one week.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you feelin' the despair now, reader? Are you feelin' the despair now?


	11. Bittersweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I want to thank you guys so much for over 2,000 hits and over 140 kudos like holy shit you guys you are making me so happy. I never thought this fic would get so many views and I just can't thank you enough. <3

          I ran as fast as I could away from the courtyard, but compared to some people that’s actually not very fast. My athletic abilities aren’t exactly good, but they’re not terrible either.

          Putting my running speed aside, all I cared about was getting the hell away from Enoshima. Now I kind of get why Komaeda is so scared of her.

          Speaking of Komaeda, what the hell am I supposed to tell him? Chiaki told me to tell Komaeda if anything went wrong when I met Enoshima, and something most certainly went goddamn wrong.

          But what am I supposed to tell him? That I met with the person he specifically told me not to go near? And that I lied to do so?

          I stopped to catch my breath. I was inside the building now and almost no students were around. I really hope Enoshima is not following me right now.

          Actually, if she was, what would she even do? Aside from terrify the hell out of me; she couldn’t exactly do much, could she?

          I slowed down at that thought and used that time to try and calm down. Emphasis on ‘try’.

          I have no idea what to tell Komaeda. I didn’t bring home any shampoo, so that’s going to set off a red flag on its own, plus the store would take much more time, and there’s no way I could have gotten back so quickly, with or without shampoo.

          I got to our dorm room hallway and got anxious. I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do. I’m starting to sound like a broken record.

          I reluctantly pulled out my student ID card and swiped it into the dorm’s card reader. I am so goddamn screwed.

          Opening the door, Komaeda was sitting on the floor and his back was against the frame of my bed.

          Something looked wrong with him, though. He looked exhausted and he was wheezing like he was going to have an asthma attack. What the hell is wrong with him? Was he running?

          Why would he be so out of breath? I don’t think Komaeda has asthma, and even if he did, what would trigger it? It’s not cold in the dorm room, there’s no pollen or mold and we don’t have a pet so there’s not pet dander, so that strikes out all of the asthma triggers I know.

          “Komaeda…? What’s wrong with you?” I walked a little closer to him, but he turned his head away from me. What the hell is wrong with him?

          “Are you alright? Do you need to go to a hospital or something?” I am out of options here. I know he has a disease, but I think that went into remission a few months ago.

          I went to sit down next to him but he still wouldn’t look at me. I asked him what was wrong again and he finally turned to face me, and I was actually surprised with what I saw.

          Komaeda was actually crying. It doesn’t exactly explain why he was so out of breath, but it does explain why he doesn’t want to look at me.

          I’ve almost never seen Komaeda cry before. Aside from when we first started dating, the only time I’ve ever seen him cry was in his sleep. 

          I woke up at 4:00 AM to Komaeda sniffling, so I went over to check on him. He didn’t have allergies, and prior to that, I had never seen him cry before.

          I woke him up and he didn’t realize he was crying until I told him he was.

          Now that I think about stuff like this, Komaeda does a lot of crazy shit in his sleep.

          But Komaeda was crying and he was crying a lot, like he had just seen something die. Why is he crying?

          “I told you to stay the hell away from her…” Komaeda actually sounded mad at me. I don’t think Komaeda’s ever been really mad with me, aside from one time where Souda dared me to make some stupid joke about hope.

         But he had evident anger in his voice, and it sounded like he was really sad as well. He also rarely swears at all, so something must be _really_ wrong.

          “Why would even think of going near her…? Don’t you know what Enoshima is capable of…?” How does he know I confronted Enoshima?

          “Hinata-kun, you were acting really strange before you left, so I followed you to see where you were going…” That explains why he was so out of breath. He probably saw Enoshima kiss me and he took off.

          “…So…You saw…?” I asked, feeling a little hurt myself. Just thinking about it makes me feel bad. Not only did I not listen to Komaeda, but I ended up screwing our plan up.

          Komaeda stayed silent, so I took his silence as a yes. He was looking away from me again, but I think he was more sad than angry now.

          “…I just wanted to settle things.” I said, feeling really guilty. “I didn’t want you to be constantly worried about Enoshima all the time, so I just wanted to settle the crazy shit that’s been happening to us lately… I wanted to stop it, but I think I ended up doing more damage.” This really is my fault, huh? If we kept avoiding each other, that kiss wouldn’t have even happened.

          I felt Komaeda’s hand softly grasp mine and I felt myself about to cry with him. The air around us just felt really heavy.

          There isn’t a ray of hope in this room. Any ray of hope that tried to come in… was overcome by a shadow of despair.

          Komaeda began to scoot a little closer to me as if forgiving me. I hope he does forgive me, because a run in with Enoshima wouldn’t be an easy subject with him.

          “…Hinata-kun, if she comes near you again, just tell me, okay?” He didn’t really sound mad anymore, so that made me relieved.

          “…Yeah…” I really don’t want to talk since I can feel myself about to cry as well.

          Komaeda hugged me and I felt a little bit better. What the hell are we gonna do? She knows we haven’t broken up, and now we have a week to do so.

          “…Komaeda, I don’t want to break up with you.” Should we just not break up? Should the rest of the school know about us? I don’t like thinking about what other students might do, especially since I don’t have the greatest reputation at this school, and Komaeda’s reputation isn’t good at all.

          Komaeda let go of me and softly kissed me. His lips tasted salty from tears. I think I liked it a little more than I should have for a kiss so bitter-sweet.

          After he let go he hugged me again. This day could not get any worse. I could hear Komaeda mumble into my shoulder.

          “I love you, Hajime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyye bringing the despair back. Also, my friend and I were discussing this fic and she said it should be smutty at the end. (I'm talking about you, Kaleigh, you filthy Sinner XD) Honestly Idk if I should like I don't know if that's gonna ruin it or not since I'm really embarrassed to write romantic things, so what do you guys think? Should the end have a little bit of smut at the end? EDIT: Yeah lol no smut for you this series you filthy sinners xD TBH I think it wouldn't exactly fit the story and I don't think I'll ever really write that just because I don't exactly like writing it. I'll leave that to the writers who feel comfortable with it


	12. Tuesday: Questioning Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Yeah, here's your chapter, Kaleigh, you little despair fucker XD I'mn having a lot of fun writing and I'm really glad you guys are enjoying.

           You know that feeling when your best friend is absent from school and you don’t really have anyone to talk to for the rest of the day? That’s what it feels like to not have Komaeda around.

          It’s just so weird not to have him around, saying how every day is filled with hope and we should look forward to classes today.

          But since we’re still trying to avoid each other, Komaeda isn’t going to be around me until school is over. I don’t know why we’re still trying to avoid each other, since Enoshima knows we haven’t broken up, but I guess we’re just trying everything we can without actually breaking up.

          I walked with Chiaki to lunch, and I told her about what happened when I confronted Enoshima. She sighed in exasperation.

          “…Did you tell Komaeda-kun about it?” She asked. I think part of her was bracing herself for me to say ‘no’, but thankfully I’m not _that_ much of a disappointment.

          “Yes, I told him. We don’t know what to do. She says we have a week, so that means we have next Tuesday to break up.” I never really imagined breaking up with Komaeda. What would we break up over if Enoshima wasn’t threatening us? I sighed at the thought.

          We walked into the cafeteria and sat down, but Tsumiki wasn’t sitting at our table this time.

          “Where’s Tsumiki?” I asked Chiaki. Is she sitting alone? I wouldn’t think she would be, since we’re her friends, we’d gladly let her sit here.

          Chiaki yawned and told me she was working with the school nurse today. I felt kind of bad that she’d rather work than spend some time to relax, but that’s Tsumiki.

          Ibuki and Souda are still sitting with Komaeda so he’s not alone, but I looked over at their table and Komaeda wasn’t sitting with them. Did he sit alone?

          “Hey… Chiaki? Did Komaeda come into the cafeteria?” Chiaki looked at me in confusion and looked over at Ibuki and Souda’s table and sure enough, Komaeda wasn’t there.

          I looked at Sonia to see if she knew where he was, but she shook her head.

          “I do not know where he is either, Hinata-san.” She said and looked at me apologetically. Sonia then looked like she had an idea.

          “Maybe you should ask Mioda-san if she’s seen him.” Sonia then pointed at their table. I sighed, getting up from the table and walked over.

          When I got there, Ibuki was laughing hysterically at Souda while he sat there looking embarrassed. When Ibuki noticed me, she perked up.

          “Oiiiii!  Hajime-chan! What’s up? Guess what this buffoon did!” She said cheerfully, pointing her arm at Souda. I chuckled a bit, but I shook my head and tried to shake off the urge to hear what dumb thing Souda did now.

          “As much as I’d love to, I have a question for you two.” Ibuki crossed her arms and gave a wide smirk.

          “Oh ho ho? What is this question, Hajime? Spill! Spill!” I laughed a little at her loud and boisterous attitude.

          “Komaeda should be sitting with you two today, but he isn’t. Did he come in the cafeteria with you two?” Ibuki’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights at my question.

          “Oh! Ibuki knows!” She said, slightly raising her hand in the air. “While we were walking down to the cafeteria together, little Ko-chan was stopped by this cool looking purple haired chick! She said the headmaster wanted to see him!” The headmaster? The headmaster wanted to see Komaeda? Why?

          I don’t _think_ Komaeda did something stupid enough to get him sent to the headmaster’s office again, but then again, Komaeda’s hope obsession has given him a real habit of getting sent there.

          When the whole Emi Fujioka incident was going on, a lot of her close friends and teachers were very worried and scared that she might die.

          She was in the hospital for quite a long time and some of her friends were getting really restless.

          Since she was in critical condition, her friends couldn’t see her in the hospital and from the peanut oil on her lunch, she very well could have died at any moment and the whole school was very scared.

          Around that time, exams were coming up, but Komaeda went to our homeroom teacher, Miss Chisa, and told her the school’s symbols of hope were in despair, therefore not fit to take exams. Simply speaking, Komaeda tried to get exams rescheduled.

          She did everything she could, talked to the headmaster, went to the school board, but she just couldn’t get exams rescheduled.

          After that, Komaeda wasn’t talking to me as much as he did. He was often deep in thought, or writing things down.

          I asked him what was wrong with him, but he just said that since the school can’t reschedule exams, he’d have to take ‘drastic action’.

          I didn’t know what this ‘drastic action’ was but I didn’t want to stick around and find out, so I told the headmaster about it.

          When I told him, he thanked me for letting him know and explained to me that Komaeda is a bit of a ‘problem child’ and he takes things a little too far sometimes.

          To this day I don’t know what the ‘drastic action’ was, but I don’t think I really wanna know.

          But why would the headmaster want to see Komaeda? I didn’t see anything really wrong with him lately, like ranting about hope more than usual, erratic behavior or anything like that, so why is he in his office?

          I thanked Ibuki and went back to my table, the other waiting to hear what was going on.

          “What did she say, Hinata-san? Do they know where Komaeda is?” Sonia asked with intrigue.

          I nodded, saying that that they did know where Komaeda is. Chiaki looked over at me.

          “…So where is he, Hinata-kun?” She asked. I sighed as if bracing myself before I answered.

          “Apparently he got called to the headmaster. Ibuki said that some girl with purple hair stopped him in the hallway and told him that the headmaster wanted to see him.” Sonia looked shocked.

          “Headmaster Jin?” For regular students, going to the headmaster’s office is almost unheard of. It’s pretty hard to get called to the headmaster’s office, and even when you do, you most likely don’t even get to see the headmaster, you see the assistant headmaster Mr. Monokuma.

          To be honest, between the two I’d rather see Headmaster Jin than Mr. Monokuma because Mr. Monokuma really freaks me out. Plus he’s kind of an ass.

          “Why do you think he was sent to the headmaster’s office, Hinata-san? If I ever got sent there, my country would be so ashamed of me!” for the rest of the lunch period, we talked about what Komaeda could have possibly done to get sent to the headmaster’s office.

          Komaeda may be a ‘problem child’ but I haven’t seen him cause too much trouble lately. Do they want to question him about something? Komaeda does get into other student’s affairs sometimes, but he usually only does that if he ‘senses despair’ or some shit.

          Before I knew it, lunch was over and everyone started getting up. I grabbed my stuff and looked around the cafeteria just to make sure Komaeda really wasn’t here.

          Not seeing him, I sighed and walked out of the cafeteria, but while walking I felt someone touch my shoulder.

          I turned around to see who it was, and it was a girl with long, light purple hair with bangs and a braid on one side.

          “Are you Hajime Hinata?” She asked it like it was more of a statement than a question. There was also something about her voice that sort of scared me. I don’t know what it was, but it just really freaked me out.

          I nodded at her question and she kept the same stoic look on her face.

          “My father would like to see you.” She said plainly. Her father? Who is this girl?

          “Huh? Your father…?” I asked confused. Am I supposed to know who this girl is? Does her father work here? She sighed quietly and rephrased her statement.

          “I’m sorry, you must not know me. I’m Kyoko Kirigiri, the headmaster’s daughter. My father would like to speak with you for a few minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gay laughter*


	13. Just a Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! Looks like I accidentally fucked up. On my last chapter I thought a week was a school week (as in, five days) but then I realized people don't think that way XD so I fixed that! The deadline is next tuseday in their world!

          I felt my whole body tense up. The headmaster wants to see me? Why? Why me? It’s not exactly surprising that Komaeda’s there, but what do I have to do with it?

          “Don’t worry, you aren’t in trouble. The headmaster just wants to clear something up with you.” I’m relieved that I’m not in trouble, but what does he need to clear up? Something with Komaeda?

          I walked with Kirigiri to the Headmaster’s Office and I’m not going to lie, it really scared me. I’ve only been to the Headmaster’s Office once and it was in the fifth grade.

          Apparently there were a few students causing serious trouble in the school, and it was becoming a really big issue. I don’t remember all of it, but the police did get involved at the school, but they couldn’t find many answers.

          And unfortunately for me, I sat at the lunch table those kids were sitting at, so they called me down to the principal’s office to ask me if I knew anything.

          The problem was that I didn’t, and I started to get really nervous. So that led to them thinking I had something to do with it. I think at one point I started crying and after that they let me go.

          I guess that’s why now I’m scared to go down there, but I was only eleven years old at the time, I think two 16 year olds should be able to handle whatever questions they want answered.

          When I opened the door to the Headmaster’s office, Komaeda was still in there, and as soon as he heard the door open his head instantly turned to look at me.

          Something was wrong with him; he looked really anxious and worried. What the hell is the matter with him? Did the headmaster say something to make him like this?

          “Ah, Hajime, please sit down.” I started to get anxious myself, but not to the degree Komaeda was. I still have no idea why either of us are in here, and it doesn’t help that Komaeda looks like he just saw a ghost.

          I sat down next to Komaeda and I felt his hand from under the desk grab mine out of panic. What the hell is wrong?

          Headmaster Jin was sitting in front of us at his desk, while Mr. Monokuma was standing next to him.

          “I was originally going to settle this matter with Nagito, but it appears that there’s more to this issue.” Issue? What ‘issue’? What the hell is going on?

          I looked at Komaeda with worry and confusion, and he held my hand tighter as if he were looking for comfort.

          “W…wait, what issue?” I’m really confused, what’s going on here? Did Komaeda get into an issue he wasn’t supposed to again? If so, what do I have to do with it? Does he think that because I’m his roommate I’m going to know everything he’s doing?

          Truth be told, I have no idea what Komaeda’s thinking half the time. His thoughts are so capricious, and so are his emotions. He doesn’t shift through personalities, but he’s still very odd.

          I thought about it more. Would Komaeda keep those things secret from me? He is sort of a secretive person, but this seems serious, and it involves the headmaster. I don’t think he’d keep something like that secret.

          The headmaster sighed like he had to explain this a few times already.

          “Well, a few students have come to me and told me that they’re concerned about you two.” Wait, what? People are concerned about us? Who? Our friends? What are they concerned about?

          “Wait, who told you this?” This is freaking me out, why are people concerned about us? I could see why people would be worried about Komaeda, since he isn’t the most mentally stable, but why would they be worried about me?

          All of a sudden, Mr. Monokuma slammed his hand on the desk and looked at us angrily.

          “Hey, hey, hey! Don’t expect an answer, you dumb kids! You should know we aren’t going to tell you! Besides, some of these students asked to remain anonymous!” You know when I said Mr. Monokuma is kind of an ass? This is what I meant. He’s a fucking prick.

          Actually, why would he even take this job? If he hates kids so much, then why’d he decide to become the assistant headmaster at a school?

          Headmaster Jin looked at him with a harsh look

          “Now now, Monokuma, I’m sure we can reach an agreement. Only a few students decided to remain anonymous, I’m sure we can let these boys know which friends are concerned for them.”

          Monokuma gave a ‘tch’ sound and crossed his arms. God I want to punch him sometimes.

          “Your friends Teruteru Hanamura, Hiyoko Saionji and Mikan Tsumiki came to me and told me they were concerned for you two.”  Okay, what the _fuck_ is going on?! Not only do we not associate with Teruteru and Hiyoko, why would they be concerned for us?!

          Tsumiki I am curious about, but why would Teruteru and Hiyoko be worried?

          Teruteru isn’t a _bad_ person, but he’s just really perverted and we don’t really talk. The only thing that comes close to friendship with us is that he flirted with me one time, an odd move for someone who prowls on girls all the time.

          Hiyoko is even more suspicious. Hiyoko is nowhere _near_ being friends with us, much less being worried. I specifically remember one time Hiyoko calling Komaeda an embarrassment to the class, so unless she’s worried about that, I highly doubt she’s worried.

          But that brings me to Tsumiki, why’s she worried? Is she worried for the same so called reason the others are? I can sort of imagine her being worried, but knowing Tsumiki, she wouldn't go to anyone, much less go to the headmaster and tell him.

          “How many students remain anonymous?” Komaeda asked quickly. I could hear how scared he was, so I squeezed his hand a little tighter, but not enough to hurt it.

          Headmaster Jin looked over to Mr. Monokuma and looked at him, as if asking for permission.

          I think he figured that out, because he replied with a sharp ‘fine…’ and let the headmaster speak.

          “Only two students chose to remain anonymous.” Two? I’m guessing Enoshima is one of those, but who is the other?

          “So, this brings me to the main reason I brought you here.” I felt Komaeda’s grip significantly tighten to the point where it started to hurt.

          “Hajime, a few of the students mentioned you two were avoiding each other. Is that true?” Shit! Enoshima used us avoiding each other to her advantage!

          “I understand students have issues, but one of the students mentioned this has been going on for a few days. If you two aren’t getting along, I think the best option is to stop being roommates.” I felt the color drain from my face. So that’s what Komaeda was worried about.

          “Wh…What…?” My voice had shock in it. I think Headmaster Jin could tell I was unwilling, because he quickly told me it wasn’t mandatory. Thank god for that.

          “It isn’t mandatory, but if you feel burdened by him then you should really-“

          “He isn’t a **_burden_** to me!”

          “Hinata-kun!”

          I instantly regret doing that. I realized my free hand was on the desk, most likely out of anger.

          Headmaster Jin wasn’t exactly mad, but he showed a clear face of disapproval.

          “Okay, I understand. If you want to change rooms, just let me know. I’ll arrange something.”

          After he said that, Komaeda let go of my hand and we quickly left his office.

          When we were out in the hall, I checked the time and walked Komaeda to the class he was supposed to be in.

          The whole time we were walking, he didn’t say a thing. He just kept looking forward without saying a word.

          When we got to his class, he gave me a simple ‘thank you’ and walked in silently. My second trip to the headmaster’s office was definitely scarier than the first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          When classes were over, Komaeda wasn’t waiting in his classroom like he usually was. Thinking he might’ve been in the bathroom, I waited a little bit. A little bit then turned into ten minutes.

          A little worried, I went back to our dorm hallway and knocked on Chiaki’s door.

          It took a little, but Chiaki finally answered the door after about 15 seconds.

         “Chiaki, thank god, I need your help.” Chiaki looked at me like ‘What is it _this_ time, Hajime.’

          I explained what happen in the headmaster’s office and Komaeda disappearing. She sighed with slight frustration.

          “Okay, what do you need help with, Hinata-kun? Do you want me to help you look for him?” I nodded and no kidding, I think we searched the _entire_ school and we couldn’t find him. We even asked other students and no one really saw him.

          After about two hours and thirty minutes, we both agreed we wouldn’t look anymore. If Komaeda was just in the dorm room I’m going to look like such an idiot.

          Entering my dorm room, there was no sign of Komaeda. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. I texted him a few times, but he wouldn’t respond.

          After a while, it started to get dark and rain. It was raining really hard, too. If Komaeda isn’t inside he’s going to be soaked.  What the hell is he even doing? It’s 7:30, he’s probably going to be chilly.

          After a few more minutes of worrying my ass off, Komaeda finally came through the door and he looked like an abandoned animal left out in the rain. He was shivering and his once fluffy hair and been straightened out and wet.

          “There you are, where the hell were you?” I tried to sound upset with him, but he looked like an abandoned kitten.

          “I-I’m sorry, H-Hinata-kun” He was stuttering from being too cold and his teeth were chattering. “D-Do you mind letting me t-take a shower first?” He shivered. I sighed at him.

          “Fine, give me your jacket, you’ll catch a cold.” He actually didn’t even give it to me, I had already taken it off.

          “As much as I like you undressing me, I can do it myself.” I felt my face flush as I yanked his jacket away from him and tossed it in a laundry basket.

          I sat on the bed and used the time Komaeda was showering to collect my thoughts.  First off, why the hell was Komaeda doing for so long, and off school grounds?

          It’s not like Komaeda to just run off without telling me, but sometimes I feel like he’s a beagle. He’ll take off if you don’t pay attention to him or if he’s not on a leash.

          After a few minutes of thinking, Komaeda’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

_“_ _♪_ _Let’s take a moment to think of just flexibility, love and trust_ _♪_ _”_

          I snorted a little at him. Is he singing? He’s not exactly bad at it, his voice was actually quite nice to listen to, but I’ve never heard him sing before.

          I actually know this song a little bit. Didn’t someone name Estelle sing this? And isn’t this on some cartoon? 

          I actually knew a bit of the words and started to sing softly with him. I’m certainly not as good at singing as he is, but it was still a nice song.

          After a few minutes, Komaeda came out of the shower with a tank top and shorts. I’m pretty sure he borrowed them for me, because the tank top looks a little big on him.

          He sat down next to me on the bed and held my hand softly. Is he still shaken up about what happened earlier or does he just want to hold my hand?

          “I didn’t know you could sing.” I said, trying to break the silence. Komaeda chuckled.

          “Singing in the shower is something everyone has done at least once, Hinata-kun. I’m pretty sure you know that.” I felt my face go red. I sang in the shower once, and Komaeda has never forgotten about it. That Annie song was just a little too catchy _not_ to sing.

          “Psh, shut up.” I lied down on the bed; I was exhausted from searching for him for so long. I think Komaeda must have been tired too, because he plopped down on the bed lazily.

          “I still need an answer, you know.” I told him. I hate to bring this up now, since I know Komaeda is probably tired, but he was gone almost the whole day.

          “…Well, I’m not going to lie to you, Hinata-kun. I tried to investigate the matter for a while, but then I decided to just try and calm down. I didn’t have the best mood when I found out what Enoshima was doing.” Of course he was. What else would he be doing? If it involved Enoshima he’d do everything he could to be there so he could find out what she’s doing.

          “Yeah, well I worried my ass off about you. Chiaki and I literally searched the entire school for you and I waited 10 minutes for you at the door of your last class. I also texted you, but you didn’t reply.” I wasn’t too mad at him, but I was still sort of upset at him still.

          He nuzzled into my neck like he was trying to apologize to me.

          “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun. To make you and Nanami-san look for garbage like me.” He murmured against my skin

          _‘Well, that’s not exactly the issue here.’_ I thought, sighing into Komaeda’s hair.

          “Hinata-kun, why do you think the other’s said they were worried about us?” He asked quietly. I am way too tired to play a game of twenty questions.

          “I don’t know, but can we talk about this later? I’m really tired, and you must be, too.” I felt him breathe against my skin in a kind of laugh.

          “Yeah, you’re right, Hajime.” I felt my face burn when he said my first name.

          ‘You should call me by my first name sometimes, Hinata-kun. It sounds nice when you say it.” The last time and first time I even used his first name was when I was angry at him, I wouldn’t have thought that sounded nice.

          “Alright, Nagito. Just please let me sleep.” I felt a smile creep on Komaeda’s face before I fell asleep.

          Sometimes I wonder why I love him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yas! After that DR3 episode I couldn't resist putting Komaeda singing in the shower! If anyone asks, the song he was singing was "Just a Thought" and it's from the show "Steven Universe" and if you haven't seen it then ho boy you really should. Thanks for reading!


	14. Wednsday: A day away from despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahg! I'm sorry that I might be updating slower than I was, I'll explain that in the notes at the end! Aside from that, nothing else is really going on~

When I woke up, it was quiet. Aside from the few birds chirping outside, it was mostly quiet.

I still felt pretty drowsy, what time is it? Turning my head to the clock the best I could, I found out that it was 9:30.

          It doesn’t surprise me _too_ much; my legs are still kind of sore from running around the school for almost three hours yesterday. Komaeda must be even more exhausted. God knows how far he ran off, and with his bad stamina, I’m surprised he didn’t pass out in the shower.

I sighed, realizing we both missed breakfast this morning. At least Souda’s not at the table to make fun of us for it, but Sonia and Chiaki are probably wondering where we are.

Komaeda’s still resting his head in the crook of my neck. His grip on me is much softer than it usually is, and I could feel him softly breathing.

I don’t want something like this to happen again. It’s bad for Komaeda physically and mentally, and Komaeda has a real habit of stressing his body too much.        

It’s very worrying what Komaeda will do to himself. Before I really knew him that well, I’d hear people say that Komaeda would actually die for this school. And judging that Komaeda told me he was suicidal at one point, I’m very scared of what he might do.

That being said, I don’t think Komaeda should investigate anything today. Komaeda’s legs must be sore from how long he took yesterday, and I really don’t want him to overwork himself.

The problem with that idea is that Komaeda will absolutely refuse doing that if someone isn’t keeping tabs on Enoshima. I sure as hell don’t want to do it, since last time I got involved with her, she saw right through my lie.

Can any of our friends help us? I don’t want Chiaki to do it since I don’t want anything to happen to her just because I needed to keep Komaeda contained. But who could help us? Maybe I could ask someone when lunch rolls around? 

I thought more about the other students. I may be able to ask Chiaki about Tsumiki, since she’s already friends with her, and she might be able to understand the shy nurse’s behavior more than me.

My main goal today is to keep Komaeda in the dorm room and _away_ from Enoshima.

Classes start at 10:00, so I shook Komaeda lightly to try and wake him up. Thankfully he wasn’t whining in disapproval like last time.

“Komaeda, get up. We both missed breakfast” I got up first since his grip was so loose, and got up to get dressed. A few seconds later, Komaeda also got up sleepily.

Komaeda walked up to the dresser next to mine and got a stripped T-shirt I haven’t seen him wear in a while. I think he also wears a brown jacket with it instead of a green one.

While he was looking for the jacket, I noticed a few marks on Komaeda’s legs. They weren’t distinct, since I didn’t notice them last night, and they were fairly light like Komaeda’s skin.

There were two slash marks on both of his knees, and a few smaller marks on his thighs. What the hell are they? Are they scars? How did they get there…?

I think Komaeda noticed me looking at them, since he told me not to worry about it. I couldn’t help _not_ worrying. How the hell did he get those? They looked old, so thankfully they weren’t recent. Was it an accident? Or did he do it?

“How…How did you get those?” I asked worriedly. He stayed quiet for a little before I spoke again. “Did…Did you do it…?” My voice got quieter with every word I said.

“…I’d rather not talk about it, Hinata-kun. I’m sorry.”  That was understandable if he did cause those scars. It would be natural for you to not want to talk about harming yourself.

“…Komaeda, can I talk to you?” I’m hoping I can settle this easily. Komaeda nodded, and I began talking.

“I really don’t want you running off like you did last night again. I know you’re really afraid of Enoshima, but… I’m really worried you might overwork yourself. I’ll try and get someone else to investigate the matter, so please, take it easy today, okay?” I really hope I can find someone to keep an eye on Enoshima or else Komaeda might go insane.

He didn’t exactly give me an answer, so I guess that means he needs time to think.

After we got dressed and got everything done, we grabbed our stuff and went to class before the halls got crowded. I’m hoping this turns out in my favor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunch should not be stressful, but somehow I have found a way to make it stressful. Tsumiki wasn’t with us again, so even if I wanted to ask why she was worried about me, I couldn’t.

“…Is Komaeda-kun alright now?” Chiaki asked.

“Yeah, he was exhausted when came in.” I sighed after I said it. “I don’t want him pulling something like that again, but I doubt he’s going to agree with anything I say unless someone keeps a watch on Enoshima.” After I said that, Sonia spoke up.

“What do you mean by ‘keep a watch on her’, Hinata-san? Would that mean you’d need a spy?” Well, I guess that’s one way of putting it.

“Yeah, sort of. Komaeda wants to find out why the others students are so ‘worried’ about us, and especially what Enoshima has to do with it.” Sonia’s eyes then lit up like a small child with candy.

“If that’s the case, Hinata-san, please let me be your spy!” Sonia? A spy? I never really thought of Sonia doing something like that, but then again, in her country all elementary students know how to operate a tank, so maybe I shouldn’t question it.

Plus, Sonia is the SHSL Princess. If she learned how to fluently speak and write in 30 different languages, I’m sure she was trained in many other things. 

“Really? Are you sure, Sonia?” I really do not want Enoshima to hurt any of my friends and I especially don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me. Will Enoshima catch on? Will she figure us out? I tried my best not to think about it.

“Of course, Hinata-san! This is what friends do, is it not? They look out for each other when they need it!” She smiled sweetly. Now I sort of see why Souda is so in love with her.

“…I’ll help you too, Hinata-kun.” Chiaki said with a determined face. “I know that Komaeda-kun can get into trouble when things like these happen, and I know personally that it’s not easy to deal with.”  She smiled softly at me.

“…Besides, in a way, by having me help you, you’re actually helping me.” Huh? What am I helping her with? I raised my eyebrow at her.

“…If I question Tsumiki, we’ll both get use out of this.” Of course, she’s worried about Tsumiki. After all, Chiaki is the one who introduced her to video games, and I’ve never seen Tsumiki happier.

They are somewhat of an unlikely duo, but Chiaki has always had a special connection with Tsumiki ever since they picked up the controller.

All the stress that was at the lunch table today seemed to disappear. It was like nothing was ever wrong in the first place. All of us were united, as if we could stand against anything now.

I think we’ve found a fragment of hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After school was over, I told Komaeda that I was able to get someone to watch Enoshima. I think I told him just in time before he took off.

But after I told him, he seemed really relieved. I could tell that he was sort of disappointed he wasn’t allowed to do it, but I think he was glad Enoshima was being monitored.

“Thank you for looking out for a waste of space like me, Hinata-kun.” I got slightly upset that he keeps calling himself useless, but at least he’s not going to exhaust himself today.

We walked down to our dorm together, chatting about miscellaneous things. When we got to our dorm, I swiped my student ID card and walked in. We sat down next to each other in silence

“So, Hinata-kun, what would you like to do?” I actually didn’t think about that. What should we do? I don’t want to leave the dorm room so Komaeda can rest, but what should we do?

“I’m not sure, what do you like to do in your spare time?” Maybe we can learn more about each other this way.

Komaeda gave a sly smile.

“Besides admire you?” He asked with a blush. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Instead of trying to be smooth, how about you actually answer the question?” I replied. Thankfully he knew I was joking.

“Ah, sorry, Hinata-kun. But to tell you the truth, I don’t really do much.” That strikes me as odd… I know Komaeda isn’t much of a social person, so what does he do in solitude?

“No way, Komaeda. You don’t have _any_ hobbies?” That just can’t be true, what the hell does Komaeda do all day?

“I’m afraid there’s just not too much to me Hinata-kun.” Okay, that I know is a flat out lie. Komaeda is _far_ from simple. I think college equations are simpler than him.

“I don’t think that’s true.” I told him. He looked at me with questioning eyes.

“I know for a fact there’s a lot to you, Komaeda. Part of the reason I wanted to do something you enjoy is because I wanted to learn more about you.” Komaeda gave a breathy laugh.

“Me? Why would you want to learn about someone like me?” He sighed, looking down at the floor.

“Because, I hardly know anything about how you function. You’re always so capricious, and your thoughts don’t make sense! I… I at least want to understand that.” I meant every word that I said. Even when we’re dating, I still don’t really know much about Komaeda. I don’t know much about his family, hobbies, I don’t even really have a clear picture on how his luck works.

“Komaeda, for the love of god, just let me know more about you.” I think one of the things I do know about Komaeda is that he knows exactly how to get on my nerves. It should honestly be a talent.

“Alright, Hinata-kun. What do you want to know?” God, where do I start? Komaeda is a walking mystery.

“Uhh, I don’t know, let’s start out small.” I thought for a little bit. What should I ask him? I got that feeing where so many questions form in your head, but you can’t put them into words.

“Uhm… Did you have any pets?” The question didn’t exactly tell much about his personality, but I heard when you have an animal with you in childhood, it helps your emotional state. Maybe Komaeda never had an animal with him.

“Ah, actually, I did.” He said with a bright smile, as if remembering the animal. “I had a golden retriever.” I smiled at the thought of Komaeda having a dog.

“Really? How come you had a Golden Retriever? Did you favor them as a child?” He smiled.

“Well, in a way, yes. They brought me such hope as a child… they’re beautiful dogs…they aren’t noisy… They even love you no matter what, even if you’re a piece of trash like me.” Of course, he’s not wrong about that. Golden Retrievers _do_ love everyone.

“What did you name it?” I asked. Komaeda laughed before answering.

“I named him Lucky. Cliché, I know, but I really loved that dog.” Komaeda looked as if he were in a world of his own. I guess Komaeda did have at least one friend as a child, even if it was a dog. At least dogs don’t push you off trees, though.

After being in his own world for a little while, his smile dropped after a few seconds.

“Well… The only bad luck I had with him is that he died while I was walking him. He got hit by a car.” I could tell he was trying to smile again, but he just couldn’t really bring himself to do it.

Trying to move on from the dark turn our conversation took, I asked him another question.

“Did you have any siblings?” Komaeda immediately shook his head.

“No, I was an only child.” I figured. Komaeda seemed like an only child.

“I was an only child, too. It was kind of lonely, but at least I didn’t have anyone to argue with abut dumb things.” Komaeda laughed at my statement

 “I suppose so.” Should I ask him about his parents? His early school life? What question can I ask that would be related to his personality now? A daring question crossed my mind, and I wasn’t really feeling that great about it.

“…Komaeda, you don’t have to answer this question if you don’t want to, but…” God, what am I doing? I know Komaeda isn’t very mentally stable, so why am I asking such a rude question? Especially if what he did was intended.

Komaeda looked at me weirdly. He gave me the ‘go ahead’ sign, and I braced myself before asking.

“…What happened to your legs?” I asked quietly. It probably wasn’t a good idea to ask him about that, since he didn’t want to do it this morning. I highly doubt if he didn’t answer me this morning, he wouldn’t answer me now.

“…If you want to know, I’ll tell you….” I don’t want him to feel like he _has_ to tell me just because I asked…

“The ones on my knees were an accident, but the others were intentional.” I’ve always heard about people being suicidal, but I don’t think I’ve ever known one until Komaeda.

“…Was it when you were suicidal?” The words were so hard to say, like the words were metal. They just felt so heavy.

“…Yes, but you don’t have to worry about it anymore, Hinata-kun.” I know he isn’t dangerous like that anymore, but it still sort of scares me. It’s not like I don’t trust him; I just don’t think I can figure out the method to his madness yet. I guess that’s what I get for trying to figure him out in one afternoon. If I could do that, I guess he would be simple.

“How come… How come you did it?” I really don’t want to push him, but I was just too curious.

“…I had weak hope.” While I expected an answer like that from him, I still don’t know what the hell that means.

“What do you mean, ‘weak hope’?” Komaeda takes hope to a whole different level, ‘weak’ is the last word I’d expect him using in front of ‘hope’.

“There are two kinds of hope, Hajime. Strong hope and weak hope. Strong hope crushes despair, like despair isn’t even an opponent… but weak hope… becomes overshadowed by despair. I’m not sure why I ever thought trash like me could ever have true, or even strong hope… But I realized I had weak hope. My hope was too weak to face the despair I felt day after day, and eventually… I felt my hope would never be complete.” Maybe asking him this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Komaeda keeps a lot of feelings bottled up, but I guess his way of letting those feelings out is with a hope rant. I guess that’s one way of doing it.

“After realizing I had such weak hope, I felt my luck would just drag me deeper into despair, until there wouldn’t be enough hope to bring me back up.  So… I wanted to rid of the luck that was given to me at birth.” For someone who admired hope as much as Komaeda did, it really was odd for him to say stuff like this.

Even though I can’t completely understand Komaeda yet, I think talking with him has made me understand him a little bit better.

I think we grew a little bit closer today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... Uh, yeah. Updates! I'm going to be going back to school on Tuseday! I'm gonna be a little freshie! (9th grade) So updates might not be as frequent, but I'll do my best~


	15. Wednsday Night/Thursday Morning: Painfully Confusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! My first day of highschool was today! It was going great until I missed the bus, but besides that, it was good! Enjoy the chapter!

          You’d think that Komaeda would be sleeping like a baby after the great and peaceful day we had. Somehow it was the opposite. I don’t know why, but Komaeda was tossing and turning in his sleep, and it woke me up twice.

          He usually doesn’t move around this much in his sleep, so I guess he must have been dreaming or something.

 I groaned sleepily, trying to hold him so he wouldn’t move around so much, but he kept breaking out of my grasp and continued to move around restlessly.

It was 4 am, and with Komaeda moving around this much, there’s no way I’ll be able to fall back asleep. I’d just have to wake him up. Sitting up, I shook his shoulder lightly.

“Komaeda, wake up.” I said it slightly louder than I usually talk, in some assumption that he’ll hear me, but he wouldn’t wake up still. I tried shaking his shoulder a bit harder.

“Komaeda, come on, you’re dreaming.” I cursed under my breath, and shook him a bit more. I saw his eyes frantically open before he sat up quickly and his arm swung into motion as his fist hit my eye.

“KOMAEDA! FUCKING CHRIST!” I covered my eye in pain, and I heard Komaeda gasp sharply.

“Hinata-kun!” I felt him frantically search for the lamp on the bedside table so he could turn it on.

God that really fucking hurts! For someone with such skinny arms, he really hit me hard!

Komaeda finally got the light on in the room, and he put his hands over my arm, trying to gently tug it away from my face.

“Are you alright, Hinata-kun?” He said, still tugging my arm away from my face, presumably to look at it.

“You punched me in the fucking eye, no I’m not okay!” I was really trying not to swear at him, but my eye hurts so bad that I’m trying to find any way I can to ease the pain.

God I really hope Tsumiki can’t hear this. She’d probably think I got stabbed or something and have a panic attack.

I was still holding my eye in some attempt to make it stop hurting, and also to hide that fact that I’m crying little bit.

“Hinata-kun, let me see.” He told me, slightly stern. I slowly uncovered my eye, and he slightly winced when he saw it. He looked at me apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, Hinata-kun… Your eye is probably going to bruise, and it’s all my fault… I gave you despair, Hinata-kun…” I could tell he meant every word that he said.

 _‘You gave me more pain than despair…’_  Definitely more pain.

But what would cause Komaeda to react like that? For the split second I did see his eyes, they looked really frightened, and I don’t think I’ve seen Komaeda that frightened before, much less try to attack someone like that.

“It’s… Fine… It just really hurts…” I groaned in pain. “What the hell were you dreaming about that made you punch me?”

Before Komaeda got a chance to reply, I heard frantic knocks on the door. I contemplated whether I should answer it or not, but it sounded serious by how many knocks the person gave.

I opened the door, and I saw that it was Tsumiki who had been knocking.  She heard the door open and she immediately jerked her head up.

“Wh-what’s going on in here Hinata-saaaa…” she trailed off when she finally looked at me. She gasped in horror.

“H-Hinata-san! Wh-what happened to your eye?!” Shit! Did my eye bruise already?! I didn’t think it would have bruised so quickly.

“O…Oh, uhm… Komaeda accidentally punched me…” I explained he was dreaming, and she looked absolutely terrified. But then again, Tsumiki always looks terrified.

I sort of wanted her to leave us alone so we didn’t wake any more people up, it was 4 o clock in the morning, my eye hurts like shit, and if Tsumiki whimpers one more time, she could accidentally wake someone else up. Unfortunately, she kept trying to come in for some reason.

“I-! I need to t-treat it!” she said with panic, slipping through the cracks of me and the door.

          She got in through, but she didn’t get far, because she tripped over nothing like she always does and fell face down on the floor, her skirt flying upwards, revealing her underwear.

          “U…Uwahh!!! I-I’m sorry!! I tripped agaaain…!” she whined, quickly getting up to grab ice. I can’t help but feel really bad for her sometimes. How does she manage to fall over everything? And so many times…

          She grabbed an icepack we had, and she quickly wrapped it in cloth. She fumbled a little bit, but she got to me without falling over this time and handed me the icepack.

          “P-please put this over your eye, H-Hinata-san, and ice it frequently! Th-the ice will reduce the swelling, a-and it will reduce the time it takes for your eye to h-heal… D-Don’t apply raw meat to the area, as it m-makes it easier for the area to get infected... A...and if you experience vomiting, blurry vision, i-inability to move your eye or severe pain, please see me!” I’m actually glad Tsumiki came over now. It was a really kind thing for her to do to treat my eye, but she is a nurse, that’s what she does.

          “I-I’m sorry that I took up so much of your time! I-! I’ll go away now!!” She whined before taking off. I heard her dorm room door slam after a few seconds of her taking off.

          I sighed, shutting our door. I wonder what poor patients will get her when she becomes a doctor…

          Putting the ice on my eye, I sat over the bed. Shit, that’s really cold! But if it reduces the pain I have right now, then I’m more than happy to take the cold.

          Komaeda sat next to me, his face filled with guilt. What made him react like that? He didn’t give me an answer, since Tsumiki started pounding on the door, but would Komaeda even want to share his dream? Whatever he was dreaming about, it made him really scared, scared enough to try and harm someone, and since I did talk about him harming himself last time, I don’t have a very good feeling about this.

          “I told you, it’s fine. It just hurts, It’ll probably hurt less soon.”  He continued to look away from me.

          “…I just had a nightmare, Hinata-kun. I had something that everyone has, and when you shook me, I reacted quicker than I thought…” I never took Komaeda for a reflexes person, but I guess everyone has their instincts.

          After about 10 minutes of icing my eye, I decided to go back to bed. Komaeda got up and went to his own bed to try and prevent anything else happening to me. It actually felt a little empty in my bed without him there, guess I just got used to him sleeping with me.

          I’ll look at how bad the bruise is in the morning, and if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll find some of Chiaki’s concealer if she left some here.

          But I think being lucky is Komaeda’s job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                When I woke up, my eye hurt really badly. I don’t think it qualifies as ‘severe pain’ but it certainly hurts. A lot.

          I got up out of bed to look how bad the bruise was in the mirror, and I actually gasped at it myself. Holy shit that’s a black eye. The whole bottom of my eye was covered in a purple bruise, and some purple also creeped up to my eyelid. I rummaged around the small bathroom drawer to try and find concealer, but no such luck.

          “Damn!” I cursed, looking in the mirror again. What the hell am I going to tell Chiaki?

          I sighed, deciding to take a quick shower. The warm water slightly stung my eye, so I tried to avoid too much contact.

          After my shower, I realized I forgot to bring clothes with me into the bathroom. Quickly going outside of the bathroom, I rummaged around the dresser quickly to find my clothes. My hair was dripping wet, water dripping on the floor, so I tried to search for the rest of my clothes before I made a mess.

          I went back into the bathroom to get dressed, and got really stressed again. I thought I could get a day of peace, but when Enoshima gets involved, no day is ever peaceful. The stress made me mess up tying my tie, but I eventually focused and got it right.

          After drying my hair, I heard a soft knock at the door. When I opened it, Chiaki was standing there. She blinked at me.

          “…What happened to your eye?” She asked with concern.

          “…Long story, I’ll tell you later. Anyways, what are you doing here?”

          “…It’s almost breakfast.” She answered plainly. “and I heard a racket coming from your room last night…I think.” She said with her finger pointing up slightly. “I wanted to wake you up this morning so I would know if you weren’t joining us.”

          “Yeah, it was us…And sorry for not telling you last time.” I looked over my shoulder at Komaeda who was still asleep. “I don’t think that he’s joining us today.” I told her, walking out the door so we could walk down to the cafeteria.

          When we got down to the cafeteria, Tsumiki wasn’t at the table again. I wonder why she doesn’t just sit with us…

Sonia was waiting for us at the table, and her eyes immediately went to me and my black eye.

          “Oh my! Hinata-san, what happened to your eye? Did you fall?” After I explained the situation, they looked at me as if they didn’t believe me.

          “…Komaeda-kun punched you?” Chiaki asked with disbelief.

          “Yeah, he was having a really bad nightmare, so when I tried to wake him up, he got startled and punch me.” Sonia covered her mouth in shock.

          “Oh dear… That sound horrible… I hope the both of you will be alright.” She gave a face of pity for a few seconds, but then perked up.

          “Ah! Hinata-san! I almost forgot! I need to tell you the results of my spy work yesterday! I found out more about Saionji and Hanamura-san!” Those two names instantly caught my attention.

          “Really? What did you find out?!” Sonia put one finger on her chin as her other hand rested on her elbow.

          “Well, I had to bribe Saionji-san with some Konpeito, but she told me that she was just following what ‘Big Sis Junko’ was telling her to do.” Big…Sis…Junko…? She was following orders from Enoshima? Why?

          “Do you know why?” Sonia nodded.

          “She said she got candy in return.” Of fucking course she did. Why else would she follow orders from _anybody_ unless they gave her candy in return? That being said, I can probably safely say that Teruteru only did it because Enoshima has a large… chest.

          This actually explains most of the issue. Enoshima purposely manipulated students so she could try to break us up as roommates. But why would Tsumiki say she’s worried? There’s no way… Would she?

          “…Tsumiki didn’t tell me anything.” Chiaki told me, setting down her fork. “When I asked her, she whined and told me that she didn’t say anything to anyone…I think.” Tsumiki didn’t say anything to the headmaster? But why did the headmaster say that she came in? Tsumiki wouldn’t lie… Would she…?

          All I know now is that Enoshima is behind all of the students claiming they were ‘worried’ about us.

          Getting off my personal problems, we talked about other things for a while, before I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw a short, light pink haired woman behind me.

          “Um, excuse me, Hajime?” Her voice sounded almost like a child’s, soft and fragile. “I’m Miss Monomi, the secretary.” Oh, that’s where I recognize her from. She’s not out and about a lot around the school, she usually stays in the office either with Mr. Monokuma or the headmaster.

          “I’m sorry to interrupt, but the headmaster wants to see you! He said it was very important!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Despaaaaair~ Anyways, High school schedule! On the first day we all got assigned an essay... on the first day. But it doesn't have to be very long. I wanted to post this chapter before I got a lot of work so I didn't leave you hanging for too long! So there you go! I'll see you next time~


	16. Thursday: Crazy In the Face Of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! It's been a while! It took me a while, but I finally was able to finish the chapter. I never expected highschool to be so demanding. Anyways, I'll talk about that more in the end notes so I don't waste your time. Also, thank you to Midori who brought up an important point. I tried my best on it. Enjoy the read

I felt all of the color drain from my face. Again? And why is it so urgent? What the hell is up with me and meeting the headmaster this week?

          I looked at Chiaki questioningly, as if I was asking her what she thought. She nodded, worry and concern in her eyes, as if saying, “You should really go.”

          I nodded back at her, as I reluctantly got up from the table and began to walk with the pink haired secretary.

          Since the majority of students are still in the cafeteria, the halls are pretty much completely clear. I guess that’s why the halls feel a little bigger than usual.

          Almost the whole time we were walking, it was completely silent. Monomi wasn’t talking, I wasn’t talking, only the sound of her small heels were clicking against the floor, easily overpowering my sneakers hitting against the floor.

          I was so anxious; I couldn’t even think straight. Why the hell does the headmaster want to see me again?  Did someone hear me yell last night and complain?

…No, that’s dumb, Monomi said this was important. Plus, I don’t think I’d go to the headmaster for that, I’d most likely go to the guidance office.

But that’s what’s wrong, what’s so urgent? Did Enoshima do something again? What else could she possible do to make this week worse than it already is? What _hasn’t_ she done to make Komaeda and I miserable? She’s sent us threats, blackmailed us and has even gotten other students to try and separate us.

Snapping out of my thoughts, the walk to the headmaster’s office felt like an _eternity._ It’s like the school purposely makes the walk to the headmaster’s office lengthy, as if they want you to consider what you did wrong.

After what felt like forever, we finally arrived at the door to the headmaster’s office. Miss Monomi softly knocked on the door.

“Excuse me, Jin? Hajime is here!” A muffled ‘come in’ was heard from the other side of the door, and I walked into the office and sat down.

It looked just like it did when I came in last time, a large desk with two flags with the Hope’s Peak Academy logo on it, and a picture frame facing the headmaster, presumably a family photo.

Nothing was really out of the ordinary, but I noticed something a little weird; Mr. Monokuma was _smiling_. Mr. Monokuma never smiles, he’s always got a scowl on his face, like he hated every second he spent at Hope’s Peak, but he’s actually _smiling._

It wasn’t a soft or friendly smile, either. It was a smirk, like he was smirking at me as if he was saying: _“You’re in trouble now, Hajime.”_

Looking away from Mr. Monokuma’s creepy smile, I looked at the headmaster instead, but when I did, I didn’t get a better sight.

The headmaster actually looks _mad_ at me. It’s one thing to get sent to the headmaster, but to make him _mad_ at you? I mean, he is strict, but he doesn’t really get mad at students, he’s usually just stern.

He looked at me with a mix of sternness and anger and spoke to me.

“Hajime, I have to say, I’m extremely disappointed in you.” Disappointed in me? I haven’t even done anything!

I shot him a confused look, one eyebrow raising slightly in confusion. He looked at me as if I should know what he’s talking about.

“Hajime, I understand Komaeda is troublesome and there’s conflict between you two, but violence will _not_ be tolerated in this school!” Violence? I’m guessing he’s talking about my eye, but… Only Tsumiki, Sonia and Chiaki know about that! None of them would tell, they wouldn’t have any reason…right?

“W…Wait…” I stammered, trying to think of answers. Not like I found any that quick. “What do you mean by ‘violence’?” It seems playing dumb with the headmaster wasn’t going to work this time around, because he sighed at my question annoyed, and I could tell his patience was thinning.

“If what I heard was true, Nagito is the person who caused your black eye, correct?” He asked, eying me suspiciously.

“Yes, but-!” I quickly shut my mouth. If I tell the headmaster that I was sleeping in the same bed as Komaeda, there are going to be questions asked. It’s not like I think the headmaster is going to tell everyone, but I don’t know about Mr. Monokuma. I can never really be too sure when he’s around. Plus, rumors spread like wildfire in this school so I am _not_ ready to take any fucking chances with this one.

“But what?” He asked sharply. I could hear Miss Monomi’s heels click as she stepped backwards, as if she were shocked at his tone more than I was.

“Is there something I should know about this?” He sounded a little less angry asking that, and I nodded my head slowly.

Like _hell_ Enoshima is getting away with all of this. She may have gotten away with most of the crazy shit he’s pulled, but she’s certainly not getting away scott-free.

“I can’t exactly tell you everything, but what I can tell you is that Junko Enoshima is involved with what’s happening.” I think I had the headmaster’s attention when I said the words “Junko Enoshima.” He raised his eyebrows.

“How so?” He asked, grabbing a pen from the drawer in his desk, ready to record what I was saying.

“She’s sent us letters that have threatened us!” The headmaster wrote something down, on the paper and handed it to Mr. Monokuma.

“Thank you for telling me this information. When you can, give me the notes so my daughter can test for fingerprints. If her fingerprints are on there, then there will be serious consequences for this. But if there aren’t, then I’m afraid that it will be mandatory for you and Nagito to be separated as roommates.” I’m not going to question why Enoshima’s fingerprints decide if Komaeda and I are still going to be roommates, but I’m not going to question it. I quickly nodded and was excused from the office.

I ran my hands through my hair and groaned. This week just keeps getting worse and worse by the day. Shaking off the anxiety from the headmaster’s office, I went to run back to the dorm room to see if I still had the letters and to see if Komaeda was awake.

Thankfully, classes doesn’t start until 9:25, so I had about 10 minutes to search for the letters, so I’m not too worried about being late to class.  The thing I _am_ worried about is Komaeda.

Knowing how much he resents Enoshima, and considering she threatened us, he’d probably burn the notes so we’d never have to see them again.

Praying that wasn’t the case, I opened the door to our dorm room. Komaeda was awake and dressed, as well as his school bag resting on the bed. He was about to say hello, but I quickly cut him off.

“Komaeda, do you know where the notes from Enoshima are?” He looked both confused and suspicious of me. I don’t really blame him, though. Before I even say “hello” I ask if we still have the threat we got.

“It…It’s in the trash we left it, why?” He now had slight worry on his face now, and from his face it looked like he wanted me to explain.

I explained what happened with the headmaster and how we might have to be separated, but we shouldn’t because they’ll test the note for fingerprints.

I thought he’d be happy that Enoshima would be caught but he surprisingly gave a slight frown. What’s the matter with him?

“Oh, Hinata-kun… I thought you were smarter than that…” He said a little sardonically. What the fuck is his problem? I felt my eyebrows wrinkle and I instinctively glared at him.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I replied annoyed, but Komaeda didn’t even seem to care.

“Oh, nothing, Hinata-kun… I just thought you’d know it wouldn’t be that easy.” He almost said like he was scolding me like a child doing something dumb.

“What’s your problem? Enoshima could be caught threatening us and that’s how you respond?” It took me all I had not to get really mad at him. Komaeda is a very easy person to get upset with, but he usually didn’t mean for it to happen, and it wasn’t usually serious.

Komaeda gave a quiet chuckle, but it was different than the chuckled that I usually enjoyed. It was snide, mocking and slightly arrogant.

“You don’t think Enoshima would just let you catch her that easily, would you? The SHSL Despair would never allow herself to get caught by someone like you.” My eyes began to shoot daggers at him. Is he trying to make me mad at him?

“ _Nagito…_ ” I snapped at him. It worked the first time I used his first name, but now it didn’t even seem to matter to him anymore.

“After all… if the SHSL Despair could be defeated by some lowly reserve course student… Then she wouldn’t even deserve the name of an Ultimate!” This isn’t like Komaeda at all. He’s never like this around me.

“Even if she’s the SHSL Despair… she still has hope… A hope I’ve never seen before…! A hope that adds to the despair she radiates…!” His breathing was shaky, but not in fear. I think he was slightly drooling, similar to Enoshima when I confronted her.

 I think I stepped back away from him a little bit. I was actually terrified of him. He’s never acted like this, but that made me worry even more. There’s no way Komaeda was like this before… right?

Has he just been bottling up his feelings? Has he just been keeping all those insane feelings to himself? Is this… Is this how he truly feels? Can I… Can I even love a person like that…?

Almost if it were out of nowhere, Komaeda started to laugh. Not the gentle, docile laugh I’ve known, but the laugh that chilled me every time I heard it. His eyes turned murkier and darker, and his breath mingled with his laughter.

I felt my hands shaking involuntarily, as I watched Komaeda give a creepy smile.

“Ahaha… How wonderful and terrifying it is… The hope she radiates… just leads to a horrifying pit of despair…!”

‘ _Stop it…!_ ’ I screamed at him in my head. What the hell am I going to do? If I don’t do something right now, Komaeda is going to lose himself.

Thinking of what I could do to bring him back to his senses, I took a deep breath. There’s no other choice, I have to stop him _right now._

I reeled my hand back and harshly slapped his cheek with my palm. His face jerked to the side upon impact, and it echoed slightly in the room, before it went silent. My fists clenched in anger and sadness, and I my eyes water slightly.

“What the hell is wrong with you…?! Do… Do you even realize what you’re saying?!” I couldn’t help but have a few stray tears slide down my cheeks.

This is exactly what Enoshima wanted. She wanted us to fight, so we could cause our own despair. And we played right into her hands.

I looked up at Komaeda, and he was holding his face with one hand where I slapped him. He looked confused, as if he had no memory of what he had just done.

I looked down with anger, sadness still lingering as well. Not knowing what else to do, I slowly walked over to where my school bag was, and picked it up to leave.

I felt bad for doing what I did, but if I didn’t… Komaeda would have gone insane. Like he used to be.

How he used to have self-destructive thoughts and would harm other people for the sake of his obsession.

How he would do anything for the sake of hope.

Even if it meant to kill someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Highschool! I get 3 pages of homework a day (One for math and two for reading) so I don't have too much time to write as much as I did during the Summer. It probably won't be 2 weeks between chapters, but I'll figure something out. Thank you for following the story!


	17. Friday: It's not that Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post this chapter before I started school again! I got sick on Friday and over the weekend, but at least it gave me some time to write. Oh, and if you like science, this is the chapter for you.

After the incident with Komaeda this morning, everything felt… gray. The colors of the classroom didn’t seem as lively as before, even Ibuki’s boisterous and bold clothing and hair looked slightly somber.

          The problem wasn’t even that I had slapped Komaeda. It was a horrible thing to do, but he was beyond reasoning and slowly slipping into his old psychopathic mind. The problem is that I just walked away from him afterwards. No reassurance, no comforting words to try and get him back to reality, I just walked away like a coward.

          I don’t even think the despair that Enoshima gave us could compare to the despair that I gave myself. The despair I gave myself… was much greater than I knew. And I think that’s exactly what Enoshima wanted.

          I can’t even really seem to focus on my work, either. All the words on my paper don’t even seem to even mean anything when I read them, they just look like what they are; words.

          I plan on skipping lunch for today since I probably won’t eat again today, and also to submit the letters we got from Enoshima to Kyoko to test for her fingerprints. I’ve already told Chiaki and Sonia so they wouldn’t worry about where I am.

          I tried my best to get into focus again and work on my history assignment, but I was just too distressed to focus clearly. I tried my best to not make it look that way though, since Mr. Shingetsu would yell at me and give me more work.

          When we finally were excused from lunch, I practically sprinted down to the headmaster’s office, bumping into a few stray students along the way.

          The notes in hand, the headmaster gestured me to follow Kyoko so we could go to a more appropriate place to test for fingerprints. Kyoko gestured me to follow her, and I nodded a bit nervously.

          As we walked down the hallway, Kyoko stayed silent. Usually I like silence, but recently I’ve really hated the silence lately. Every time things are silent around me, it’s not a good thing. Thankfully, the silence was broken.

          “The science lab isn’t too far from here. We’ll test the letters there.” She said simply. I didn’t really know what to say back to her, which was a problem since the silence was really bugging me, so I tried asking her about what we were going to do with the letters.

          “So, uh… are you going to use the powder detectives use to see the fingerprints?” she shook her head.

          “No. That’d be an ineffective technique to find fingerprints on paper. The powder is more effective on things like finished wood, glass and marble. If we tried to use that, the prints might not turn out clear, and even worse, it could contaminate the evidence, so it’d prevent us from doing further tests.” She pulled out photographs of fingerprints after she said that.

          “I have fingerprints of Enoshima Junko, you, Komaeda and everyone else in your dorm room hallway to try and match with the finger prints with the ones on the letter.” I didn’t understand the science behind the fingerprints, but Kyoko seems to know what she’s doing, so I didn’t question it.

          When we finally got to the science lab, I handed her the notes carefully, trying not to get access fingerprints on the note.

          “I’m going to be exposing the note to Silver Nitrate, so if you are allergic or don’t feel comfortable around chemicals, you should stay out here.” I raised my eyebrow.

          “Is it explosive?” I don’t know much about chemistry, but I’ve burned my hand with chemicals before and it’s not pleasant.

          “Only around Ethanol.” She said calmly. “I’m sure you’ll live.” She opened the door to the science lab, and she set the notes down on the table. I watched her as she went to get gloves, and go over to the shelf to get a spray bottle with the words “AgNO3” labeled on the front.

          “This is toxic, so don’t touch it unless you want to burn your hand.” She told me, making me slightly back away from the table.

          Kyoko held the note in her hands, lightly spraying the paper with the chemicals, making sure not to douse the page. After she was done, she set the paper down in sunlight to dry. I didn’t know why it had to dry, but she’s the detective, so I won’t question it.

          After it dried, she gently rinsed off the access chemicals and set the notes down, some of the fingerprints on the paper slightly visible, but not very clear.

          “We’ll need to use Ultra Violet light to see the fingerprints clearer.’ She gestured over to a small UV light on the opposite side of the lab for me to get hold so she could see the prints better.

          When I turned it on, the fingerprints became much clearer, most of them becoming a visible black.

          Kyoko took the pictures of fingerprints and compared them to the ones on the note, scanning her eyes across the two like her eyes were a computer.

          After looking at all of them, she set the pictures of the fingerprints aside, and a little farther from where they were.

          “They’re not there.” She said curtly. What? They’re not there…? Kyoko read my baffled expression and spoke a little more.

          “Enoshima’s fingerprints. They aren’t there. The only fingerprints on there are yours and Nagito’s from when you picked it up.” My jaw probably dropped upon hearing that. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. She was wearing fucking gloves!

          Now that I think more, that’s probably what Komaeda meant by ‘did you think it’d be that easy?’ He probably knew Enoshima would do something like this.

          Kyoko gave a slight huff, and she put the letters I gave her into a clear plastic bag to preserve it.

          That’s it, there’s no evidence to prove Enoshima sent the letter. And if Enoshima doesn’t have her fingerprints on the note… then Komaeda and I can’t be roommates anymore.

          I was about to leave the lab, since there wasn’t really anything else to be said, but Kyoko’s voice stopped me.

          “…Of course, I still know it’s Enoshima’s doing.” What? She knows? Even if she’s the SHSL detective, shouldn’t she need concreate evidence to support that?

          “But…” I stuttered. “There’s no evidence to prove it! No one will believe us!”

          Kyoko softly chuckled to herself, as if she has this all figured out already.

          “Well, there’s no evidence _here_ to prove it.” She said with a mysterious smile. “After all, you can’t just expect to find all the answers with just one piece of evidence, do you?” That’s certainly an answer I’d expect to hear from the SHSL detective.

          “That’s true… but I don’t have anything else to give you.” Kyoko gave another smile.

          “Hajime, how did Enoshima give the letters to you?”

          “The first one was given to me by Tsumiki… But the other one was mixed in with the mail, so she probably slid it under the door.” I tried to see what significance that had. Is she trying to say that there could be witnesses? I highly doubt there would be… Not a lot of people are near the dorm rooms while Komaeda were at the park. They’d most likely be in a club room or in their dorm room.

          “Hajime, look up.” Kyoko ordered, as she pointed at the ceiling, signaling where to look.

          I did as she told, and I saw she was pointing at a security camera.

          “There’s one in every hallway. Unless Enoshima disabled it beforehand, she can’t escape being seen on camera.”

          All of the hope I had lost had suddenly come back. I have another chance to prove Enoshima is threatening us!

          “Of course, we can’t do it now. Your lunch time is almost over from the time the paper needed to dry, and I’d have to sift through the computer in the office to find what day, time and camera it was on. Tell me the details tomorrow and I’ll try and access the files.”

          She took the bad with the evidence in it and walked out of the lab.

          I think there might be some hope after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          When classes were dismissed for the day, I waited for Komaeda near his classroom, but he wasn’t there. I decided it would take too much time and effort to search for him like last time, so I just went to my locker and tried to place the worry aside.

          When I got to my locker, I put in the combination and started to put my stuff in my school bag. When I was finished, I closed my locker. After I did, I felt a light tap on my shoulder from someone standing behind me. I heard a soft voice call out.

 

_“Hey.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That cliffhanger is real. Also, I would be lying if I said I didn't have to do research while writing this chapter. I'm a science nerd, but I can't remember all the chemical equations and formulas. Hope you enjoyed the read!


	18. Trust is easier lost than gained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I think I have a schedule for my writing now, since I'm becoming more comfortable with my high school schedule. I think the plan is I'll try to update on weekends (Since I write the rough draft to the best of my ability during the week) and type on the weekends. There are no guarantees, but I'll try that to the best of my abilities!

          I froze. It doesn’t _sound_ like a voice I know. I turned around to see who it was, and I saw a tall, black haired girl with freckles adorning her stoic face.

          “Who…” My voice trailed off. Who is this girl? And why is she talking to _me_ of all people? “Who _are_ you?” The girl kept her stoic face and she looked me straight in the eye, sending chills down my spine. Whoever this girl is, she’s very intimidating. 

          “You’re Hajime Hinata, right?” Her voice didn’t seem to match her looks; it was a bit higher than what I expected it to be.

          “You need to come with me. Right now.” While her voice wasn’t menacing, she still sounded deadly serious, as if she could snap my neck by just looking at it.

          “Wait, who-.”

          “ _Now.”_   She commanded. What the hell? Why is this girl so set on having me follow her? I don’t know her, I don’t know how it would benefit her, and she isn’t even telling me what she wants from me.

          Reading my confused face, she started to explain herself.

          “Hajime, you need to come with me. If you don’t, I’m sure Enoshima will have her way with you.” The name ‘Enoshima’ grabbed my attention quickly. She knows what’s going on with me and Enoshima? How?

          I shook the thought and my head. Knowledge about Enoshima or not, she’s still too suspicious. I can’t trust her right away. I began to walk away from her, but 6 words she said pulled me right back in.

          “I know about you and Komaeda” She said blankly. I slowly turned back to her, and she was still looking at me with a blank face.

          “Hajime, you need to listen to me. I know Junko, and if she’s really going through with what she has planned, you can kiss your secret goodbye.” I thought about it more. I have no idea who this person is, but she claims to know about Enoshima. She also knew about Komaeda and I, and only Enoshima should be the only one to know about that. And since everyone isn’t talking about us, which means this girl is either just keeping it to herself, or Enoshima told her and she wants her to keep her mouth shut.

          “…How do you know all this?” It’s still a little too risky to follow a random person without questioning her a little more. She gave a quiet sigh.

          “Because you’re easy, Hajime Hinata.” I’m… easy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

          “Enoshima can read you two like an open book. Unless you get some information on her and what she’s planning on doing, then you’re done for. After all… I’m the only one who understands her.” So she _is_ involved with Enoshima. I’m not completely sure if she’s working with her or against her, but I think the chance was too big to pass up. This girl knows _something_. I don’t know what it is, but it could be a chance I’ll never be able to get back. I reluctantly agreed to follow her.

          I slowly walked with her, making sure to stay behind her so I don’t get attacked.

          I was led towards the small hallway leading towards the gymnasium, where the countless trophies of previous students were displayed.

          Keeping my eyes on her, I made sure I was as close to the door as possible so I could open the door and run if anything felt too suspicious.

          The girl stopped for a moment and turned to me and saw how close I was to the door.

          “So you’re still suspicious.” She said, looking at how close my hand was to the door. I was trying my best to hide it, but it seems she saw right through my plan.

          She started to slowly walk towards me, slower and slower. Every inch she moved towards me, the closer my hand pressed against the door for a quicker escape.

  _‘No way in hell I’m sticking around to see if this was a bad decision…’_ I thought, pressing the door ready to sprint. But before I could even get distance between is, she quickly caught up to me and snagged my hand and pulled, gaining control of both of my wrists. I tried struggling, but her grip on my wrists were completely locked. She could easily break both of them if she wanted to.

          “Don’t even bother trying to make noise. This area of the school is soundproofed. My sister made sure of that.” Sister? Realization punched me right in the face as I realized this was Mukuro Ikusaba. No wonder I didn’t recognize her. Her hair usually always looks like Enoshima’s; Long, in pigtails and blonde. Did she get her hair cut…? Or was that hair just a wig?

          “What do you want?” I said, trying not to sound too angry. I didn’t want to provoke her, since she had control over both of my hands and can break them if she wants.

          “I don’t want anything. I’m just doing this for Junko… After all… her and her despair… it’s all I have and live for.” As if on cue, the gym’s door opened, and sure enough, Enoshima walked out.

         “Great job, sis! Now I finally have Hajime again!” she said it with an innocent tone, but I know that she’s anything but.

          “Everything went how you planned, sister.” She said, keeping her death grip on my wrists. Enoshima flashed an annoyed face at her.

          “Yeah, yeah, sis! Just shut up already! I didn’t ask you to talk!” Upon Enoshima saying this, Mukuro stood up a little straighter as if correcting herself.

          “Anyway...” She began as a sly smile crept across her face as she walked towards me. Fear instantly surged through my body.

          “What the fuck do you want?” I spat at her. I never planned to see or talk to her again after what she pulled last time.

          Enoshima changes again, her eyes glaring daggers at me, her arms crossing each other.

          “Oi! Don’t be so fucking rude!” she snapped at me, giving me chills.

          “I mean, _shit!_ I went through all this trouble to bring you here! Don’t be such an ass about it!” Her position changed again, her hands now brushing against her cheeks.

          “But… It’s not like I’m here for _you!_ A-as if!” she feigned a blush at me, and I felt my mood worsen.

          “That still doesn’t answer my question.” I tried to mask that I was terrified. What the hell does she want?! Didn’t she already terrorize me enough the last time she saw me?

          “Well… I couldn’t just ask for you to meet me after last time! After all, you aren’t _that_ stupid!” I shot an angry look at her when she said that.

          “Of course I wouldn’t! You fucking threatened me!” All the words I threw at her didn’t seem to matter, but I probably should have known from the start I shouldn’t try to reason with the SHSL Despair.

          “You… You’re crazier than Komaeda! The words spilled out of my mouth before I could even stop them. It slightly hurt me to say. Komaeda isn’t crazy anymore… right?

          Enoshima’s face scrunched up in disgust upon the comparison of her and Komaeda, and she looked as if I had asked her to jump off of a cliff.

          “Ew!! How could you ever compare me to that disgusting hope freak?! You’re so meeean Hajime!!”She fake cried for a few seconds before an evil grin reappeared on her face.

          “But anyway, speaking of that cancerous weirdo, that’s what I brought you here for!”

          _‘Great.’_ I thought. _‘What others things does she have to blackmail us with?’_

          Before I could ask her what she meant, she pulled out the same pair of glasses she had last time and put them on again.

          “You shouldn’t have been avoiding me, Hajime. After all, I’m trying to _help_ you.”

          I gave her a face that says ‘Yeah right’, but of course that didn’t stop her from talking.

          “After all, I’m just trying to save you from heartbreak!” She said it in a way like she was completely innocent, as if she had nothing to do with this at all.

          “I mean… You _do_ know that he doesn’t really love you, right?” That statement made my heart drop 50 feet.

          “After all, there’s no _way_ he would fall in love with a talentless and boring person like _you.”_

          _‘No.’_ I told myself. _‘It’s not true. She’s just screwing with me like she always does.’_   Even while I thought that, I still couldn’t shake the thought from my head.

          “I mean, come on, Hajime. I’ve known the little freak since I was a kid! I had to spend countless hours with the little trash bag, and now it’s finally worth it! I can tell you with certainty that he wouldn’t waste his energy on you.” I felt tear at the corners of my eyes.

          _‘It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true…’_ I said the words over and over in my head, like if I said them enough, they would become true.

          “He’d never love you. He’ll _never_ love you. He only pretends to like you so he wouldn’t be alone. He’s giving himself false hope…! Isn’t that just _so_ despair inducing?!” I moved my arm vigorously, but of course I couldn’t break free.

          “He’s tricked you, Hajime. He’s playing you. How could you _ever_ think he would love you? You must be even stupider than I thought!” She said it in such a sweet tone; it was off-putting to listen to.

          I felt tear spill out over my face as I heard Enoshima laugh evilly. That’s it. I’m never going to be able to trust anyone in this goddamn school again.

          I think Enoshima was waiting for my tears, since Enoshima must have gestured Mukuro to put me down. I heard footsteps come closer to me, and all of a sudden, they stopped. They stopped right at me.

_“Just give up. He never loved you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worked really hard on this chapter! I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you again next time.


	19. Doubt and Anger is a Deadly Combination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry this chapter wasn't updated over the weekend, I went to a wedding that weekend! But that's not important, at least it's up now!

I must have been sitting with my back against the gym’s wall sniffling for at least a few minutes. I probably looked so miserable, hugging my legs and burying my face into my knees.

          I started to walk back to my dorm room slowly, trying to put off seeing Komaeda after what I had just heard. The words echoed in my head: “He never loved you.” It has to be a lie… it just has to… Enoshima does nothing but terrorize and hurt people, so she’s obviously just trying to mess with my head… Even with that thought in my mind… Why can’t I shake the thought of Komaeda not loving me still in my head…? The thought that Enoshima’s actually right…?

          And after what happened this morning… It wasn’t helping my doubt at all. The dark thought was sticking to me like glue. Does Komaeda really not love me? It was awful to think after all we’ve done… But after what he said today…

_“Some lowly reserve course student”_

          It really hurt me to think about it.  I looked down while walking, not paying any particular attention to anything ahead of me. While walking, I accidentally bumped into two people walking together.

          One of them I knew, he had light brown haired boy with a green hoodie, looking at me with both confusion and concern. I remember Komaeda talking about him one time, and if I remember correctly, his name was Makoto.

          The other was a skinny, taller girl who I didn’t know. Her hair was a darker brown than Makoto’s, and she was dressed in a black dancer’s leotard. She was also slightly concerned, looking at Makoto with confusion, then looking back for a brief moment before the two continued walking.

          I tried to walk slower to try and lengthen the time it took to get to the dorm hallway, but I realized I must have looked really weird just sulking down the hallways slowly. I started to walk faster, even though I really didn’t want to.

          I got to my dorm room hallway, and I eyed the door, as if trying to prolong going in. I swiped my ID card, but I left my hand on the door knob for a while before actually going in. It was almost as if my hands were unable to turn the knob to go in.

          Eventually, I had to do the inevitable, and I turned the doorknob to go in. I kept my head down slightly so he couldn’t see my tear stained cheeks

          Komaeda was sitting on his bed, reading a book, but as soon as he heard the door, he immediately put the book down and snapped his head to the doorway to look at me.

          “Hinata-kun!” He sounded really worried, running up to me and lightly taking my hand. “Hinata-kun, where were you?” His hand gripped mine a little tighter to try and comfort me, but I sharply yanked my hand away from him.

          “Hinata-kun…?” he asked worriedly. He kept trying get a clearer view of my face, angling his body to try and get a better look. I kept moving so he couldn’t see my eyes that were glassy with leftover tears, but he took his hand and put two fingers on my chin to try and tilt it upwards.

          Once again, I lightly swatted his hand away from me, leaving him with a mix of confused and shock. What am I doing…?

          “Hinata-kun…?” He had a genuine look of confusion on his face, like a small puppy learning a new command.

          I pushed my way past him, trying to avoid him and his gaze.

          “You know… I wonder if you’d even care.” The voice came out harsh, much harsher than almost anything I’ve ever said to him. I looked up at him, my eyes narrowing at Komaeda. What the hell am I doing? What’s wrong with me? Komaeda has always cared about my problems, as if it affected him personally.

          Komaeda stepped back a little in shock, and he had the most hurt expression I’ve ever seen on his face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Komaeda look that hurt before.

          A hurt expression then mixed in with anger, an expression that Komaeda’s never used with me before. Komaeda has looked that way with Enoshima before, but he’s never looked that upset at me before.

          “Hinata-kun… I don’t know what happened… But you need to talk to me.” He was stern, almost scolding me as I felt my lips involuntarily form into a scowl.

          “Oh don’t even act like you don’t know what’s wrong, Komaeda. You don’t need to hide the fact that you hate me because I’m talentless. Don’t worry, I already know.” I spat the words bitterly at him, my eyes shooting daggers at him. My face showed anger, but in truth, I had no idea what I was feeling. It’s like Enoshima had turned me into her puppet, controlling me at her will with a single flick of her hand.

          Komaeda’s eyes glistened with tears that he refused to let fall. It looked like he was using everything he had to not let any tears fall or make any pre-crying gasps or sniffles.

          “Hajime… What happened to you?” Now he’s using my first name. Every ounce of control I had over my word had vanished. Anger and Doubt is a deadly combination, especially if Enoshima’s the one who caused it.

          “I wonder if I told you… Who would you blame? Your luck? Or me?” The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. I know how Komaeda feels about his luck affecting me, but I said it anyway.

          It wasn’t audible, but it was clearly visible. Komaeda started to cry. Tears spilled out over his face, which dripped down to his chin, either to be absorbed by his shirt or fall onto the floor. The emotion on his face seemed so out of place on him.

          Sadness turned into brief anger. It was only for a second, but I saw a flash of anger in his eyes. Shortly after, Komaeda quickly pushed past me to get to the door and exit the room.

I’m not exactly sure, but I could have sworn he whispered something to himself before he left.

I couldn’t make it all out, but what I did hear was something along the lines of: “She’ll pay for what she’s done”

The door shut, leaving only me and my regrets in the room. What the hell have I done? What the hell made me say any of that? Anger? Retaliation for what he said to me this morning? Stress? No matter what the reason was, I still didn’t have to go so far. Komaeda was offering help, and I harshly turned him down. That’s like getting poisoned, someone handing you the antidote, but you throw it away and you let yourself die.

Instantly, I started worrying. I didn’t know what he was going to do. I was worried about two things: what he meant, and what he was going to do. The phrase that he said… “She’ll pay for what she’s done”

I know that ‘she’ is Enoshima, but what does he plan on doing?  Komaeda has a dangerous mind, and if I can’t tell what he’s thinking or know what he’s planning on doing after a statement like that, then he could do something that can never be undone. A drastic action that I could be unable to stop.

The whole room felt so heavy. The air felt heavy. The room seemed less colorful. Even the picture of me, Chiaki and Komaeda on the dresser didn’t give off a happy vibe anymore.

The time ticked on, and it started to get late. Of course Komaeda wasn’t back yet, so I decided to go to bed. I looked at the clock, and it was 9:17. Komaeda’s been gone for 4 hours now.

I reluctantly crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep, hoping for the best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t exactly know what time it is, but I know it’s really late. I don’t really know what woke me up, but I woke up to a sound. I think I was half asleep and was barely awake.

I heard the soft sound of footsteps coming closer. They were gentle, as if not wanting to wake me up, and I felt the edge of my bed sink down as if someone was sitting on it.

I was facing away from whoever it was, so they thankfully couldn’t see that I was awake. It stayed silent for a while until a soft voice broke it.

“…Hinata-kun.” It was Komaeda’s voice. He sounded like he was reluctant, like he was afraid to talk to me. It stayed silent for a few more seconds before he let out a mixture of a laugh and a sigh, the two combining to sound breathy and upset.

“Ah… How silly of me. Of course you aren’t awake. It’s almost midnight, you wouldn’t stay up that late to wait for trash like me.” It’s almost as I could see his eyes trailing downwards.

“…I know you aren’t listening to me, Hinata-kun, but…I probably wouldn’t have been brave enough to tell you what I’m about to say if you were awake, anyway… So, maybe it works out after all.”

 _‘Just shut up and tell me…’_ I thought to myself. Komaeda was gone for almost 7 hours and I need a goddamn explication.

“…I’m sorry, Hinata-kun… For all the things I said. That you were lowly and boring. Even I don’t really know how I feel about this. While I may despise the reserve course program… I still have yet to question how someone from the reserve course has won my heart over.” It was really hard to listen to this when I was hardly awake. I wasn’t able to move very well, and I was trying my best not to fall back asleep.

“Hinata-kun, I don’t expect you to forgive me after what I said. After all, it’s what I deserve. I wouldn’t be surprised after what I said you would hate me, but… I just wanted to tell you… From the bottom of my heart, I am truly in love with you.” I couldn’t see his face, but I could probably tell he was giving his signature weak smile he gives to hide his emotions.

          After he said that I felt him get up from my bed to leave. He was getting up slowly, as if he were really tired.

          _‘Stop. Don’t leave. I don’t hate you.’_ I meant every word I said. I tried to grasp Komaeda’s hand to show that I forgave him. That I didn’t hate him. That I still loved him. But my hand could barely move. I hardly brushed Komaeda’s fingernail with my hand.

          My hand slinked downwards in defeat, and it hit the side of the bed quietly. Komaeda never knew that I had been listening to him. That I wanted to stay with me so I could tell him I still loved him. But I couldn’t tell him.

          I drifted back into sleep, but it was anything but a peaceful one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the comments and criticism, it really means a lot to me~ I just really wanted to thank you guys for being patient with my upload schedule with high school and all, it just really makes me happy.


	20. Saturday: The Absolute Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit it's been a while. I don't exactly have a different excuse, just high school and being tired as usual. But I managed to do it, so, yaaay.

          Waking up was an… Odd feeling to say the least. I sat up in my bed in slight confusion. Was Komaeda coming into the dorm room just a dream? I mean, I couldn’t really tell if I was actually awake or not, and my dreams can get really realistic.

          When I was a kid, I used to have this reoccurring dream that I would be looking in my house’s bathroom mirror, but the person in the reflection wasn’t me, it’d be someone with gleaming red eyes and long black hair.

          I would look down to see that I didn’t have any long black hair, and I could run my hands to feel short hair, but the strange person in the mirror stayed no matter what I did. He’d mirror my every move, and I’d stare in the mirror in shock, but the person would just stare back, with cold, dead eyes.

          The first two times I had that dream was when I was about nine years old, and I was so frightened and convinced the dream was real. So frightened that I went to my bathroom mirror crying to look at myself to make sure it was still me. I still occasionally have that dream, but not as often as I did when I was younger.

          But I still can’t tell if Komaeda coming into the dorm room last night was a dream or not… The dorm room’s layout looked exactly the same… does that mean it was real after all? Or was the dream just that realistic…? I shook my head and sighed.

          I peeked over to my alarm clock, the clock’s red numbers flashing at the time ‘10:35’. What the hell…? Did the power go out last night? I checked my phone to set my alarm clock to the correct time, then walked over to Komaeda’s bedside table to set his alarm clock back to normal, too.

          When I finished setting the correct time on his clock, I took a moment to just look at him. He was dead asleep, his arm hanging off the side of the bed limply and a small bit of drool on the pillow his head was resting on. It’s almost if all my problems disappeared just by watching his peaceful, sleeping face.

          I lifted up the arm that was hanging off the side of the bed to place it back on the mattress, and it moved without any problem. He was like a doll, moving whatever way you want it without any resistance.

          I brushed one of his white curls or hair behind his ear and kissed his forehead like I was trying to apologize for last night, even though I knew he wouldn’t be able to feel it. 

          I quickly grabbed some sort of breakfast bar to eat and headed out the door to meet Kyoko for the camera recording. There’s no way I’m letting Enoshima get away this time.

          I pulled out my phone to text Chiaki so she’d know where I am so she wouldn’t worry about me. I put my phone in my pocket quickly and started to walk down to the headmaster’s office. I felt my phone vibrate, signaling Chiaki had texted me back, but I didn’t bother checking it, since it was probably just a simple ‘okay’.

          My walk to the headmaster’s office was mostly silent, some opaque banter coming from the cafeteria as I passed it. I walked through a hallway, and I noticed a commotion coming from a dorm hallway near it. There was a small crowd of students talking over each other in… confusion?

          I shook off my curiosity and decided that finding Kyoko is the most important thing to do right now.

          When I got to the Headmaster’s Office, Kyoko once again gestured me to follow her somewhere. She led me further into the staff portion of the office and we passed several offices. After passing a few other rooms, we finally stopped at a door that read “Records and Security” on the sign.

          When we entered, the whole room had shelves and shelves of records; student profiles and school records lined the walls. A few computers occupied the room as well, presumably holding information about student’s attendance and such.

          “They keep all the student records and security tapes here.” Kyoko told me, leading me to a computer which needed a password to be unlocked. She quickly typed the password in and opened up the computer.

          The desktop was slightly bare, seemingly only containing things like classes students are enrolled in and things similar of that nature. There was one file that read ‘School Surveillance’ on it.

          “This file contains the recordings of every hallway in the school. What dorm hallway are you in?”

          “A-2” I replied. Kyoko scrolled through the many hallways of the school before finally getting to A-2. After she clicked on A-2, multiple dates showed up. She clicked on the current month and all the dates from the current month showed up.  Everything seemed normal until the latest dates.

          “Kyoko… Why do the recordings stop at Friday?” Kyoko took a look at the video files and nodded.

          “I noticed that as well. The power outage last night is responsible for that. The cameras in this school are constantly recording. The recordings of the school start exactly at 12 am and stop recording at 11:59 pm. If the power goes out, then the cameras’ recording process gets cut short, therefore not saving the recording. The cameras are then not able to record until 12am the next day.” She sighed at her lengthy explanation.

          “What day did you receive the letter on?” She asked. Recalling my date with Komaeda was on a Sunday, I told her the date of last Sunday.

          “And the time?” Shit, what _was_ the time? I remember we were at the park around 5 and we got home at about 7, so I guess 6:30-7:00 would be a good interval.

          Kyoko skipped to about 6:30 and sped up the tape so we wouldn’t have to wait 30 minutes for something to happen.  It was mainly normal for the first few moments, hardly anyone leaving their dorm room, but then…

Then _they_ came out of their dorm room. The culprit of who left the letters. Who slid the letter under our door… was someone I never expected.

“…Tsumiki…?”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Tsumiki Mikan, the shy, clumsy and emotional nurse slid the malicious note under the door. My mind tried to make excuses of how it couldn’t possibly be her. How she would never do anything like that. But there she was, on camera, sliding the note under the bottom of the door.

She couldn’t have just been delivering the regular mail, since she was holding only one letter, and the regular mail was at least three papers.

All of the signs pointed to her, she had surgical rubber gloves to mask her fingerprints, the envelope was completely blank unlike regular mail, and all the regular mail was delivered earlier.

My eyes glanced over to Kyoko, but she didn’t look even the slightest bit surprised.  The same stoic stare was plastered on her face while the rest of the video played out. After the video was done, Kyoko stopped the video.

Even while all the evidence was right in front of me… Even while everything points to Tsumiki… I still couldn’t accept it.  Tsumiki is our friend… I refuse to believe she would do such a thing. I refuse to believe she’s working with Enoshima.

But no matter how many times I refused to believe it, and no matter how many times I told myself it wasn’t true, reality slapped me in the face, displaying Tsumiki in plain sight slide the letter under the door.

A horrible feeling of despair flooded my emotions. Kyoko turned to me, her expression still blank.

“Hajime, I’m going to tell you something really important. Will you listen to me?” I looked over to her and nodded, my eyes almost looking at her in a pleading way.

“Hajime, no matter what happens, you need to find the _ultimate truth_ , even if you think you’ve already found it.” I looked at her oddly. The ultimate truth…? Why is she being so cryptic about it…?

“I…I don’t understand.” I confessed, utterly confused and helpless. Kyoko shook her head and spoke again.

“You will soon. I promise you.” She said, before I began to walk back to my dorm.

On the way back, the dorm hallway that had a small commotion had turned larger, almost twice as many students there were before. Uneasy tones of students talking littered the air and worried expressions were on students as well.

This time, I had to know what was going on. Before I could really get to the crowd to see what was going on, a quiet voice caught my attention.

 

          _“Hinata-kun, something really bad happened...”_


	21. Burned Trust

I jumped at the voice calling my name. Even though I already knew who the voice belonged to, it still made my heart freeze in place for a second.

          Chiaki stood behind me, looking at me with worry and slight panic. She wasn’t pausing before she talked anymore, and she was now awake and alert.

          “‘Something bad’? What happened?” She looked…confused for a second. Like I should have already known what she was talking about. Is she talking about the uproar that’s happening in the hallway…?

          “Hinata-kun, didn’t you get my text?”  Her text? The one she sent me after I told her where she was going? I quickly pulled out my phone and unlocked it to see her text.

_‘Hinata-kun, wait, is something happening over there? I heard a rumor that someone broke into Enoshima’s dorm last night. Is something going on?”_

          Oh **_fuck_** _._

I was hoping with everything I had that Komaeda wasn’t the one who broke into Enoshima’s dorm.

          I pushed my way through students in the crowd in a desperate panic to see what was going on, and-

          “Holy shi-“

          My entire body just… froze. Enoshima’s dorm room door was open, and the room wasn’t just broken into, it was _burned._

It wasn’t seriously damaged, but it still looked damaged enough to look intentional and threatening.

          Enoshima and Mukuro were talking to two police officers next to their door, and I swear to God, it looked like Enoshima turned her head and smirked at me.

          Fucking _hell._

          I am _screwed_. Enoshima has us right where she wants us, and she can get both me and Komaeda expelled if she can prove it was us.  My breathing shook a slight bit in panic.

          ‘ _This is my fault.’_ I thought. ‘ _If I had just let Komaeda help me instead of snapping at him this wouldn’t have happened.’_ I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.

          I was snapped out of my thoughts by Chiaki rigorously shaking my arm.

          “Hinata-kun!” She said sternly. I’ve never really seen Chiaki look this serious before. “You already saw Kyoko for the surveillance, right? Was it Enoshima?” I… didn’t know how to answer. Tsumiki is Chiaki’s best friend, they’re inseparable. Ever since Chiaki taught her how to play a video game, I’ve never seen either of them happier.

          I took a deep breath and decided I had to tell her he truth. Nothing good was ever going to come out of me lying, and it would be wrong to keep something like this from her.

          “It… It wasn’t Enoshima. It… was actually Tsumiki.” After I said Tsumiki’s name, Chiaki’s mood instantly dampened.

          I’ve never seen Chiaki this sad before. I’ve hardly even seen her sad before. The only time I’ve seen Chiaki sad is when she had to delete her save data from a Pokémon game because she wanted to start over. She said a personal goodbye to every Pokémon she caught and everything. I think she even shed a few silent tears when she had to push ‘yes’ on the question ‘Are you sure you want to delete all save data?’

          Even then, that wasn’t the same type of sadness she has now. That was a grieving sort of loss. She got over it in a day and completed the game a few days later. But Chiaki now… She was devastated. It looks like she just saw someone die. She didn’t look sad, but I could tell on the inside she was absolutely crushed.

          Chiaki put up the hood on her 8-bit cat hoodie and looked down in sorrow.

          “…Thanks for telling me, Hinata-kun. I’ll be fine…I think.” Before I could attempt to console or help her, she already began to walk away.

          I…was angry. I was angry at Tsumiki. I was so angry that she made Chiaki so upset like that. And I think that’s exactly what Enoshima wanted.

          I pushed aside the other stray students to get back to my dorm.  I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do if Komaeda is awake.

          I dragged my feet across the floor while walking and dreaded thinking about talking to Komaeda about this.

          When I finally got to the dorm door, I let out an exasperated sigh. I opened up the door, and Komaeda was awake. Great, just what I needed.

          “Good morning, Hinata-kun.” He greeted cheerfully. Why is he so happy after what he told me last night? Did he put his emotional mask back on?

          “Komaeda, what the hell…?!” I was under so much stress I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Komaeda shot a confused look at me.

          “Ko…Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” I didn’t sound angry anymore, I was almost pleading. Begging Komaeda to hold onto his sanity and not do dangerous things.

          Komaeda’s face changed from confused to happy again.

          “Oh, are you talking about Enoshima’s dorm room?” He sounded completely carefree about the whole thing. The fact that he knows what happened to Enoshima’s dorm when he was dead asleep when people started to notice it was an instant give away.

          “Ko, you…” I couldn’t even finish the rest of my sentence.

          “Yes, I did. And it all worked out perfectly! How lucky of me!” He said in a laughing sing song voice. This isn’t good. I don’t want this to escalate like it did last time, but what the hell am I supposed to do?

          “How the hell did you get into Enoshima’s dorm?! There’s no way you have her key card!”

          Komaeda chuckled.

          “When I disabled the power for the building, all of the ID scanners are basically useless! I could enter Enoshima’s form with ease!” That… Terrified me. If a storm knocks the power out, anyone could enter anyone’s dorm room.

          “Then… how did you know Enoshima was going to be gone? How did you know she wasn’t in her dorm asleep with Mukuro?” He looked at me… almost confused.

          “Hm? I didn’t. I didn’t know Enoshima was out.” What? He didn’t know? How the hell can he not know Enoshima was out and just waltz in without any problem?!

          “Then… How did you-“

“It was just lucky I guess.” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. He relied on his luck for a crucial part of his plan?!

          “The only bad luck is that I heard Enoshima coming back before I could finish setting up my trap… Can you believe it, Hinata-kun? Just as I was done pouring nail polish remover on the floor, I hear Enoshima coming back… But I guess it somehow all worked out in the end!”

I’m starting to figure out how he managed to do this. He _knew_ that if he used nail polish remover it would look at least a bit more coincidental because Enoshima’s a model.  He _knew_ even if he failed his luck would somehow get him out of it. I’m guessing the fire started when the power came back on, and the light sparked and ignited the fire.

I don’t know what the hell to do… Komaeda’s psychopathic thoughts are starting to nag at him and if he gives in to it, I don’t know what else I can do.

I don’t want to hurt Komaeda. I never want to hurt him. I just want him to be like the Komaeda I’ve always known. The Komaeda that I love.

          But what am I supposed to say? What do I do…?

 

          “K…Komaeda, I…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fun fact: The part where it said Chiaki said goodbye to her pokemon for deleting the save data? I do that! IDK, I just did. I love my pokemon too much!


	22. Take a Break

          “I…” My voice halted. If I don’t say this now I’m going to regret it later. I don’t think anything else is going to work, so it’s sink or swim.

          I walked towards Komaeda slowly and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. I hugged him as tightly as I could, as if he would disappear if I let him go.

          “Komaeda… Please…” I pleaded. “…I love you too much for you to keep doing this to yourself…” I felt my tears absorb in Komaeda’s T-shirt, and Komaeda’s hands still rested at his side.

          I hate crying, but I was under such extreme stress, and Komaeda’s mental state is a good part of why.  I’m… Scared. I’m scared to leave Komaeda alone. And with that said… does that mean I’m not returning his feelings…? Am I just staying with him to keep him in check…? Is… Is that even love…? Or am I just giving him false hope to keep him from getting his feelings hurt…?

          Komaeda soon wrapped his arms around me to hug me back, and I hugged him tighter knowing that he was finally back.

          When we finally let go, we sat on the bed together to try and get things straight.

          “…So it was you?” I asked, wishing his answer would change.

          “Yes. I’m sorry, Hinata-kun…” He looked away from me when he said that. Komaeda took my hand and squeezed it gently for comfort.

          Usually when Komaeda holds my hand, it feels like nothing else matters. Like the simple brush of his hand against mine is enough to distract me from my worries.  But now… now it seemed like nothing could help how stressed I felt.

          I looked back at Komaeda, and he was still looking away from me. I couldn’t see all of his face, but I’m pretty sure what I could see was a good amount of regret.

          I squeezed Komaeda’s hand a bit tighter to have some sort of reassurance that it was going to be alright.

          “…Komaeda… What are we going to do…?!” My voice wavered a bit when I asked him I honestly have no idea what we’re going to do.  Enoshima has us pinned against a wall and she can do anything to us at this point.

          In the end… all the stress caught up to me. I finally gave up.

          I tugged at Komaeda’s hand to get him to look at me. When he did look at me, I looked him in the eye.

          “Komaeda…” I managed to choke out.” I never thought I’d ever say this to Komaeda, but right now… There’s no other option.

          “Komaeda I… I can’t do this anymore…” Komaeda looked at me with confusion.

          “Hinata-kun…?” God, that _voice._ That goddamn innocent and confused voice made it so much harder for me to tell Komaeda what I mean.

          “Komaeda we…” I stopped talking to collect myself.  I was trying my best not to cry.

          “…We should just do what Enoshima wants, Ko… We… We should take a break…” The silence in the room after I said that made everything that much worse. I felt Komaeda’s grip on my hand loosen significantly.

          “I just… I just can’t take it anymore, Komaeda. We… We should really just break up.”

          Komaeda… Froze. He had an expression that was… sort of worrying. He had the paleness of a dead body and his eyebrows curled into a crescent moon in sadness.

          “Hi…Hinata-kun, are you sure?” God, he looked so _heartbroken._ He looked like someone just watched an animal die. His eyes trailed downwards glumly and he shook his head.

          “It’s fine, Hinata-kun. I expected this would happen sooner or later, so… It’s fine. Trash like me doesn’t deserve to have you anyway. In the end… I just had weak hope for us.”

          _Bullshit._ I know for a goddamn fact that Komaeda is not fine. I know for an absolute fact that Komaeda is hiding behind his mask again instead of outright telling me how he feels or even just crying. Instead, he chooses to isolate himself from everyone.

          “…Hinata-kun?”  Komaeda asked through the silence.

          “Yeah?” I replied, looking at him.

          Komaeda hesitated for a few seconds, moving his eyes to the side away from me before moving them back to mine.

          “…Please kiss me one last time.” I could tell from Komaeda’s voice that he was at his breaking point.

          I nodded and gently put my hands on his and leaned in to softly kiss him one last time.  It… hurt. It hurt to know this would be the last kiss I share with Komaeda.

          After we broke apart, I looked at Komaeda sadly.

          “…I’m sorry.” I whispered before I took my hands off his and got up to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          I walked around the school to try and help my miserable mood.  Even though it was perfectly clear and sunny outside, it felt like it was cloudy and raining.

          My chest hurts. My shoulders feel stiff. It hurts to breathe. I never thought it would hurt this much, especially when I doubted my own feelings.

          I walked into the school’s courtyard to try and see if the plants would help me calm down. Komaeda always liked the flowers in the courtyard because he thought they were pretty. So in his free time he would go to the courtyard to look at the flowers. It also gave him an excuse to be around the SHSL Botanist when he would come by to tend to the flowers.

          I crouched down near a bed of flowers that I found to be calming. They were white lilies, very pretty and delicate to the touch. I looked at it for a while with doleful eyes before picking one.

          Sighing, I sat on one of the courtyard’s benches. Everything reminded me of Komaeda and I fucking hated it. I set the flower down next to me on the bench to look at the clear sky. I must have looked at it for a while before finally deciding to try something else.

          Just when I was about to go somewhere else, a female voice I’ve never heard before grabbed my attention.

          “Are you okay…?” She asked. I looked over to who it was and it was the dancer I saw with Makoto the other day. She looked at me with such concern, much more concern than she should have for someone she just met.

          I looked at her with confusion to show that I didn’t know her, and she gave a face of realization while also standing up straighter.

          “Oh! I’m sorry! You… You’re Hajime, right? Makoto told me to see what was wrong since you seemed so upset when we ran into… and now you look even worse… Sorry if it came off as weird.” She sat next to me and asked me again. “What’s wrong? Is it something you’d be willing to talk about?” her voice was soft and gentle, almost motherly as she attentively looked at me and was ready to listen.

          “…It’s really complicated. Someone is threating us and I don’t know what to do.” She nodded at my remark gently.

          “By any chance… Is the person threatening you… Enoshima Junko?” I flinched at Enoshima’s name. How does she know it’s Enoshima? Is Enoshima just _that_ infamous?

          The girl must have seen me flinch, because she nodded to herself in confirmation.

          “I thought so…” She said worriedly.

          “Uh… I still need to know who you are.” I said to her. She didn’t speak for a few seconds, but she soon told me her name.

          “It’s Emi. Emi Fujioka.” Emi Fujioka? The name… That name sounds familiar… Could it be that?

          “Are you…?” I began to say before she cut me off.

          “The SHSL Ballet dancer?” she told me. “Yeah, I am.” She smiled at me for a bit, but then gave a sorrowful look.

          “I know firsthand how awful Enoshima is… It’s horrifying…. I know she was the one who put the peanut oil in my lunch to start that reaction… I thought I was going to die… Die alone in the hospital without telling my friends and teachers goodbye one last time…but… I didn’t. I survived. I don’t really know why I did… but I think it’s because inside… I had hope. I had hope that I would live another day and when I recovered… I’d walk up to my friends and be happy with them like I always used to.” She had a certain glimmer in her eyes as she spoke, it was almost inspiring.

          “After I got out of the hospital and was healthy enough to start dancing again, Makoto came to watch me practice so I wouldn’t overwork myself and end up back in the hospital again. So…” She looked to the side before speaking again.

          “Hajime. I don’t know what Enoshima is doing to you, and I know it’s probably something you don’t want to talk about… But I just wanted to tell you to not give up on hope. If I can escape death and survive Enoshima’s attack… then I’m sure you can survive whatever she’s doing to you. I promise.” She smiled softly  at me before getting up and exiting the courtyard.


	23. Closer to Hope

          When Emi left the courtyard, I was left motionless. _‘But I just wanted to tell you to not give up on hope’_ It really made me wonder.

          Why did Emi even talk to me? Pity? Empathy? Kindness? Or just because Makoto told her to? It’s terrible to question someone who’s trying to encourage and help me, but after all the people I’ve been deceived by, it’s honestly hard to tell who’s on my side.

          The one person I don’t doubt is Makoto. While I don’t know him, he has quite a reputation among the school. A lot of students like him a lot, especially Komaeda. Komaeda would always speak highly of him, saying he deserves the title of “Ultimate Hope” or something over the top like that. Some people describe him as too optimistic for his own good.

          So today I should focus on the people I know I can trust: Chiaki and Makoto.  I’ll talk to Chiaki first since she’s the one I trust the most. It also gives me a good chance to see if she’s okay from what happened this morning.

          Exiting the courtyard, I made my way down to Chiaki’s dorm. Since all she does on the weekends is play video games in her room, I didn’t have to worry much about her not being home.  When I finally reached her dorm room I prayed she didn’t have earbuds in.

          Chiaki has a somewhat dangerous habit of leaving her game on full volume with earbuds in. She was once playing Super Smash Brothers in the library one time and the fire alarm went off. But apparently Chiaki was so focused and her earbuds were up so loud, she didn’t even hear a thing. The teachers were in a panic because they could find out where she was, but Ishimaru found her in the library while patrolling the building to try and find her.

          I knocked on the door to her room and waited for an answer. After a few seconds, the door opened for me and Chiaki was in her casual clothes.

          Her cat hoodie was no longer on, it tied around her waist, leaving her beige buttoned up blouse and skirt on. It almost surprised me that she wasn’t freezing to death since the dorms are pretty cold this time of year.

          “Oh, Hinata-kun, did you need something?” She asked. I nodded worriedly.

          “Y-Yeah. I really need to talk to you.” Chiaki sensed the urgency in my voice and immediately turned to the side to let me in.

          Her room was a bit messy, her pink cat backpack discarded on the floor with a few book spilling out of it, and a myriad of console chargers sprawled out on the floor far from their outlets.

          Chiaki put her 3DS aside and cleared a spot on the floor for me to sit. Chiaki sat down on a small pillow from her bed she had around and gave me a look that said ‘go on’.

          “Okay, I know relationship advice isn’t really your strong suit, but I really need to talk to you about this.” Chiaki seemed lost as soon as I said ‘relationship advice’.

          “I can’t really guarantee a good answer, but I think I can at least give you at least an okay answer… Probably.” Chiaki’s little ‘probably’ made me hesitant to tell her any more, but Chiaki is who I trust the most with this.  I took a deep breath before speaking.

          “Okay… After the whole thing this morning I went to confront him about it. I asked him if he was the one who did it and he immediately confessed it was him. I panicked and didn’t want to hurt him like last time, so I told him I loved him too much for him to keep doing this stuff.” Chiaki was looked at me confused.

          “What’s the problem then, Hinata-kun?”  She asked. I sighed before speaking again.

          “...We were talking about what we were going to do about our situation, and I just… I just gave up.” Chiaki gave me an anxious look on her face like she knew where I was going with this.

          “Hinata-kun, what did you do?” she asked with worry in her voice

          “…I broke up with him.” The same deadly silence pierced the room and I hated it.  Chiaki was staring at me with such disappointment, it made me feel even wore about my stupid mistake.

          “I…I came to ask you if I did the right thing.” Chiaki sighed and got lost in thought for a bit. After about 10 seconds of silence she exhaled and gave a serious look.

          “I can’t exactly blame you for what you did, Hinata-kun, but I really think that you made a mistake. I’m sure dealing with Enoshima is torture, but…” She paused again like a machine processing information. “Isn’t that the reason you have Komaeda-kun? To help you through things when they’re difficult?”

          I blinked. I’ve never heard Chiaki speak so passionately like this before, especially about a topic like this. Chiaki isn’t a very social person, so hearing her speak so confident like this is really unexpected from her.

          “Hinata-kun, do you doubt your feelings?”

          “What?” I feel like I’m not even talking to Chiaki anymore. I’ve never seen such a serious side to Chiaki before.

          “Hinata-kun, if you’re questioning your decision of breaking up with Komaeda-kun because of Enoshima’s taunts… To me it sounds like you don’t know if you love him enough to face what others think of you… I think.” My heart sank as she said that. This is one debate Chiaki can’t win.

          “…Chiaki, that’s wrong. I mean… You are right about me doubting if I loved Komaeda… but after breaking up with him… the heartache I felt afterwards… There’s no way I could doubt my feelings now.” Chiaki gave a grin, like that’s what she wanted to hear all along.

          “Then that means you really love him, Hinata-kun.”  It felt like her smile was hiding something from me, as if she was more experienced in this than I thought.

          “I thought you said weren’t good at relationship advice.” I said with a stupid grin. Chiaki tilted her head to the side with her normal face.

          “I’m not.” She told me plainly. For some reason, that made me smile even more. Seeing Chiaki really made me feel better about this whole thing. I still don’t have a clear picture of what I’m going to do… But at least I’m a little closer to it.

          Chiaki’s helped me so much through this whole mess, it made me forget that there was a problem in the first place.

          The smile I did have faded when I realized I didn’t ask Chiaki how she was feeling from this morning. She was about to open her 3DS again before I stopped her.

          “Hey… Are… Are you okay?” I asked, looking at her worriedly. She tilted her head in confusion. I didn’t want to be too blunt about it since Chiaki did seem to be pretty upset.

          “From this morning. Do you want to talk about it?” I looked at her with concern. She seemed pretty broken up about it when I told her, but she calmly shook her head.

          “No, I’m fine, Hinata-kun.”

          “You don’t look very fine” I told her sternly. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her hide any negative feelings from me, especially since she just spent the last few minutes talking me through my problem.  Chiaki shook her head once again.

          “Really, I’m fine, Hinata-kun. I was really upset when I heard about what happened… But Tsumiki really doesn’t know any better. She’s most likely never had a friend that cares for her before me, and I can tell she would never do something like this out of cruelty.” It’s just like Chiaki to see the good in people instead of the bad, no matter what they do. Chiaki just doesn’t have the heart to hate anyone, it’s just not like her.

          I got up to leave and gave Chiaki a grateful smile. It seems like I found a glimmer of hope though this hopeless situation. I walked out the door and I heard Chiaki call out before I left.

“Good luck, Hinata-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit shorter than the others, I feel like this chapter was a bit shorter than the other ones I've written I try to keep a 1,000 minimum for each chapter.


	24. Reflecting and Regretting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh it's been a while. Guess who got writers dysphoria? *Raises hand* I kept writing this chapter over and over again and this is the final product of my 5 rough drafts :P but enough dwelling on the past, the chapter is up now~

 

          After exiting Chiaki’s dorm room, I decided to set my focus on getting information. I can’t just blindly fight my way through this, I need to find out what Enoshima’s doing and possible how to avoid whatever trap she has planned next.

          The only problem with that is I have no idea where to start. I don’t think I know any people with information that could personally be used against Enoshima that isn’t on her side.

          I’m pretty sure no students know what’s going on; they’re probably searching for answers about the dorm just as much as I am. I’m pretty sure the only students that would know what happened are Enoshima and Mukuro.

          Why isn’t Enoshima doing anything yet? Knowing Enoshima, she would have gotten me and Komaeda expelled already. There’s just no way she would pass up an opportunity like this if it meant us getting expelled. So why hasn’t she done anything yet?

          I’m pretty sure none of the teachers are going to reveal any of the information I want without coming off as suspicious. Besides, the teachers might not even know the information I want.

          Asking students probably won’t get me anywhere, and asking the teachers will just make me seem suspicious and get myself in trouble. So what am I going to do? Do I just risk those factors and just keep hoping I get an answer? The police investigating Enoshima’s dorm looked like they were pretty thorough in keeping people away from knowing much.

          At that thought, I realized that if there was an investigation, Kyoko would have gotten a file about it or something. She couldn’t have been at the investigation since at that time she was helping me with the whole security camera mess, but as a detective in training, I would think she would have at least gotten a file with information about it.

          If I’m right, Kyoko could be willing to share some of that information with me to get an advantage. Maybe then I can figure out at least a _little_ bit of what Enoshima’s doing.

          Now all I have to do is find Kyoko. Except that a bit of a problem because I have no idea where she would normally be. The only idea I really have is to go to the office and ask if she’s there, and if she’s not I’d have to ask for a dorm number.

          Walking to the main office didn’t take much time, but part of me wished it did. I was scared to know what Enoshima’s plotting, especially since I how much havoc she’s capable of bringing.

          When I got up to the front office, Mrs. Monomi was at her desk working, but when I walked up to her she looked up at me.

          “Ah, Good afternoon!” She said with a bright and happy smile. If only I could be as happy and carefree as her right now.

          “Uh… Can you tell me if Kyoko Kirigiri is here?” Ms. Monomi put her pen up to her lips in thought. Eventually, she shook her head in apology.

          “Umm… I don’t think so… She did come in about 30 minutes ago, but I doubt she’s still here… I’m sorry…” she apologized sincerely.

          I sighed with slight annoyance. I knew it wasn’t Ms. Monomi’s fault, but it’s just a bit irritating when you’re dealing with your possible expulsion.

          “Well, can I at least have a dorm number then?” I tried not to sound too agitated, since Ms. Monomi has a reputation for being… Fragile.

          Ms. Monomi used to teach an elementary school before working at Hope’s Peak, and her kindness is usually taken for granted here. Even if it’s someone slightly raising their voice at her, she tends to become noticeable upset.

          Ms. Monomi nodded at my request and started to look around at her computer, clicking a few time before finally getting to what she needed.

          She grabbed a post-it note from the side of her desk and wrote down the dorm number for me.

          “Here you go!” she said, handing the paper over to me. I thanked her and began to leave, but she shouted out something as I was leaving.

          “P-Please don’t do anything bad with it! Being hurtful is a big no-no!” I laughed at her innocence. She _really_ would have been better off at the elementary school she used to teach instead of here.

          But besides that, I had Kyoko’s dorm number, and all I could do know is hope that she’s home.

          I knocked on the door a few times, waiting for a response. There wasn’t a response for a while, but eventually Kyoko opened her door. She still had her indifferent expression, but she blinked a bit at my arrival.

          “What is it?” she asked.

          “I need to ask you a few things.” For the first time, I think I saw Kyoko give a very faint smile.

          “I presume this is something that’ll have to be asked inside?” I nodded.

          “Yeah, it’s really important.” She moved out of the way so I could come in, and I sat down on the floor, Kyoko soon following.

          “What is it you needed to ask me?”

          “I wanted to ask about Enoshima’s dorm. Do you have a file or any information about it?” Thankfully, Kyoko nodded. Thank _God_ that went my way. If Kyoko didn’t have information, then I’d be absolutely screwed.

          “I have information, but I don’t think you’re going to get very far.” What? ‘Get very far’? What is that supposed to mean?

          “What do you mean?” I asked. Kyoko gave a slightly troubled look.

          “Enoshima. She’s trying to stop the investigation.” What the hell…? Why is Enoshima trying to _stop_ the investigation? She’s got a free chance to get both me and Komaeda expelled and out of her way!

          “How would she even be able to do that?” I knew Enoshima was going to do _some_ kind of weird thing to throw us off, but this is beyond anything I would have thought.

          Kyoko took the file on the room and opened it. She took a few papers from it and began to read it.

          “When questioned about what had happened, Enoshima claimed that it was her fault and she had accidentally started the fire when the power went out. She first said that she got startled when the power first went out, and she knocked over an open bottle of nail polish remover onto the floor. After that, she tried to see what had spilled, so she lit a candle to see where she was going, but had knocked it over, resulting in the fire.” I can’t even believe this. Why the hell would Enoshima take the blame for that? She would have had another advantage over us!

          “Did she have an alibi?”  Kyoko nodded.

          “The police questioned Mukuro as well. She confirmed Enoshima’s actions.” As always, Enoshima’s ten steps ahead of us.

          “Hajime, the police don’t have enough evidence to prove this wrong, but there’s no doubt that Enoshima intentionally started that fire.” I gave her a confused look.

          “Intentionally? Why would Enoshima purposefully set her room on fire? Why would she benefit from that?” Kyoko shook her head.

          “Because she knows it’ll create tension between you and Nagito. By putting you two in a situation where Nagito is mentally unstable, Enoshima harms something of her own to make it look like Nagito had done it. She figured that it would cause you to distrust him, ultimately leading towards your separation.” Well, she does have most of it right. Komaeda _did_ try to set fire to Enoshima’s dorm, but he failed in doing so. In the end, he got what he wanted. Enoshima just did it for him.

          Thanks to Kyoko, I’m starting to figure out a little bit more on how Enoshima works. She doesn’t want us expelled, she wants to destroy the relationship I have with Komaeda. Expelling us would just keep us away from her and away from something that could break our relationship. She knew if she pushed Komaeda to the edge he’d retaliate against her by doing something dangerous so I’d crack and loose trust in Komaeda.

          And she got exactly what she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! By the way, my tumblr is the same as my Ao3, so if you wanna contact me or want to ask things about the series then you can~ you might even get my kik if ya want :)


	25. Monday: Hoping For a Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! There's not much to say on the top page of notes, but I just wanted to say that my birthday is on the 12th of Febuary! so I'll probably be away from the fic on that day. But all that aside, enjoy the chater!

          Sunday didn’t really go how I wanted it to.

          I _wanted_ to try restore a bit of me and Komaeda’s relationship so it wouldn’t be awkward when we interacted, but I don’t think it got any better.

Since it was Sunday, there weren’t any classes, but I didn’t really take full advantage of that. A day without classes would have been a perfect opportunity to try and slightly repair some of the damage I had done, but it ended up awkward for both of us.

          I tried to talk to Komaeda, but all of the conversations we had were really short and forced, not to mention Komaeda showing a clear lack of interest in talking to me. He wasn’t looking at me at all, and he buried his face in a book the whole day. Every second I spent in the room felt like an hour and it was torture to sit through.

          Now that it’s Monday, I want to try fix at least some of the relationship I didn’t get to fix yesterday. I know how badly I hurt Komaeda, and it was selfish of me to do just because I was too afraid to face how I feel.

          When class was over for the day, the first thing I did was pull out my phone to text Komaeda.

_“Ko, come home, I need to talk to you.”_

          A few minutes later, I saw that Komaeda had read the message but he didn’t respond. I don’t know if that’s his way of being passive aggressive with me or if he honestly didn’t know I could see he did that.

          I waited in my dorm for a bit, and I started to get fidgety. Is Komaeda angry at me? What if he’ll try and avoid me? Will he just… not come altogether? Eventually I ruled out the latter option, since we _do_ live together, but I was still nervous. 

          After about 10 minutes, Komaeda finally came into the dorm room. I’m sure when I heard the door open, every muscle in my body tensed up.

          I forced myself to look up at Komaeda, and he seemed completely fine. He wasn’t smiling like he usually was, who could blame him, but I could tell he wasn’t nervous in the slightest.

          “H-Hey.” I managed to choke out. God, I must look pathetic right now. I could feel my heart starting to race and my hands get slightly sweaty. I heard Komaeda let out a small chuckle at my obvious nervous demeanor. What an asshole.

          “Hello, Hinata-kun. What did you want?” I took a small breath before preparing myself. I need to let him know I’m serious.

          “Um… Would you sit down?” I patted the spot of the carpet across from me, gesturing for him to sit down. He nodded and sat across from me, and he looked straight at me. His face was somewhat… unnerving. His eyes seemed to stare right through me, it was almost creepy.

          “What did you want to talk about, Hinata-kun?” He asked. I took another breath. If this doesn’t get said now, our whole relationship could go up in flames. I have to do this now.

          “…I’m sorry.” I said, trying to sound firm. Komaeda raised an eyebrow. I took that as a sign to keep talking.

          “I…Komaeda, I shouldn’t have hurt you like that. It was selfish on my end, and I didn’t even stop to think about how you felt.” Every word I spoke was true. All of my worries suddenly went out the window and I spoke purely from my emotions.

          “Komaeda… I don’t want to ruin our relationship because I was being selfish. I don’t want it to end because I was too scared to face what others would think. I… Don’t want you to feel like this is your fault…” After I finished, I found the courage to put my hands on Komaeda’s. I looked him in the eye to let him know I meant every word I said. He looked… unmoved. But I’ve learned that even when Komaeda’s face looks unconcerned, a roller coaster of emotions could be running wild through his head.

          “Hinata-kun, are you…?” He trailed off. After that, he stayed silent for a good 15 seconds, as if he were trying to process the words I just said. I finished the sentence for him.

          “I want to be in a relationship with you again.” I said it without any fear. I’m sure every nerve in my body is going insane, but the adrenaline in my body overrode all fear and pushed me forward.

          Even with all of that, Komaeda wasn’t showing as much… emotion as I wanted him to. He was frowning, almost confused as he stared at me.

          “You… Want to be in a relationship with me again?” I could feel his hands anxious for something to do, to break free from me holding them, but I kept holding on until he knew I wasn’t giving up so easily.

          “Yes.” The silence after that was unbearable. Even though Komaeda was staring at me with such a soft and gentle expression, it felt like it was sharp and piercing. But even then, I kept looking him in the eye.

          “Hinata-kun, I…” He started, seemingly struggling to find words to say. Eventually, he weakly tugged his hands away from mine, disconnecting them from my grasp. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Hinata-kun.”

          The words hit me like a sack of bricks. It’s not a good idea? What the hell does that mean?!

          “W-what?” I stuttered, my voice begging for clarification.

          “Hinata-kun, I’d… I’d love to be in a relationship with you again, but… I just don’t deserve it.” His eyes trailed off to the side, and his facial expression almost looked guilty.

          “What is that supposed to mean?” I questioned. I tried not to sound angry with him, since this could easily break out into an argument.

          “Hinata-kun… The whole reason you broke up with me is because you’re scared of what people will think of us if they know of our relationship… If we were to get back together, Enoshima would expose us. I know you don’t want that, Hinata-kun. Besides… You don’t have to get back together with me just because you feel bad for me.”  I narrowed my eyes at him slightly.

          “Just because I have a fear about how people will treat us because of our relationship doesn’t mean that I hate you.” I lightly admonished him.

          “That may be true, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m weighing you down.”

         

          “I wouldn’t give a sentimental spiel about me wanting to get back together with you if you were weighing me down, _Nagito._ ” I attempted to use his first name to show I wasn’t taking his excuses, but he brushed it off like it didn’t even concern him in the slightest.

          “Really, _Hajime_ , you should learn to stop chasing after things that’ll only get you hurt in the end. It’ll cause a lot less pain.”

“Saying that doesn’t change how either of us feel and you _know_ it, Nagito.” This is bad. This is _seriously_ bad. I need to diffuse this right now before this gets any worse, or things will end up worse than they started.

          I tried to think of something, _anything_ that would make Komaeda realize that I wasn’t doing this because I felt bad, but before I could think of anything, Komaeda stood up from where he was sitting and headed towards the door. He put his hand on the door knob for a few seconds before saying one final thing.

          “…Don’t settle for me because you pity me _, Hajime_. I’ll just make you unhappy.”

          And he left.

          I clutched the carpeting with my fists and I felt tears well up in my eyes. He just rejected me.

          Is… Is that really it…? Did I leave a mark that can never be erased….?

Can I never undo any of the damage I’ve done…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you hate me yet? Anyway, the end of the series is almost here! only 1 or 2 more chapters are left, so get ready for the end!


	26. Hoping things will work out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have news! Good news! I made a tumblr for this fanfic and upcoming fanfics! The blog is for fanfic updates, asks about ongoing series or upcoming series, and I might accept requests if I like them :) the blog is on tumblr at "cherry-and-ko" so if you're reading and you would like that, please give it a follow! I'd really appreciate it~

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop crying. I was hugging my legs and my face was buried in my knees. I probably look pathetic right now.

          I kept trying to keep quiet so the dorm next to mine can’t hear, but crying gasps and sniffles kept escaping my mouth. I guess this is how it feels to be rejected.

          Even though Komaeda had pretty much every right to reject me, it still really hurts. I don’t really think there was ever a time where I was upset and Komaeda wasn’t there to help me. I guess that’s why it hurts so much to deal with this alone.

          I released my hands from my legs and rested my back on the side of my bed, tears still slipping out of my eyes. I sat there for a while trying to collect my thoughts before hearing my phone ring.

          I mentally collected myself and tried to eliminate all audible evidence that I was crying before I answered it.

          “Hello?”

          “Hinata-kun?” Chiaki’s small voice sounded through the receiver. I don’t know if I should be worried that Chiaki called me instead of texted me.

          Chiaki rarely _ever_ calls me when she needs to tell me something. In fact, she hardly ever calls _anyone_ on her phone. Chiaki pretty much always manages to cram whatever she has to say in a text message.

          “Yeah, what do you need?” Chiaki didn’t hesitate to answer.

          “Are you waiting for Komaeda-kun right now?”  She asked.  I have a feeling this is going to be bad.

          “Huh? No, he just left, why?” I got a small huff in return.

          “Okay, thanks. I need to come over, is that okay?” Now I’m _positive_ it’s bad news.

          “Uh… Yeah, sure, why?” I asked, but Chiaki already hung up.

          A little bit after the phone call, I heard Chiaki knock at my door. I opened it, and Chiaki greeted me with a questioning expression

          “…Why is your skin blotchy?” _Shit._ Maybe I should have waited a little bit until letting Chiaki come over. Chiaki shook her head, focusing on the main reason she came.

          “…Never mind that right now. I saw Komaeda-kun leave your dorm room a while ago and he didn’t look the happiest.” I raised an eyebrow. _He_ didn’t look the happiest? How the hell does he think I feel?!

          “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to get more details.

          “…He looked…mopey. I don’t know, he looked like he regretted something… I think.” This is weird. Even for Komaeda, this is _seriously_ weird. Just what the hell is Komaeda feeling? I could understand upset or irritated, but he was _regretting_ something? This whole situation made my head ache.

          “Did you ask him what was wrong?” Chiaki shook her head.

          “No, I figured if I did, he wouldn’t tell him.” God, was that true. Even if it’s me, Komaeda won’t tell you what’s wrong if you directly ask him.  He’ll always just dismiss it as “unimportant” and never tell you.

          “So what did you do?”

          “…I called him.” She called Komaeda? Usually Komaeda never answers his phone because he never has his ringer on.

          “Wouldn’t that give you the same result if you walked up to him directly?” Chiaki shook her head.

          “…I didn’t ask him what was wrong with him directly. I asked him something that wouldn’t be suspicious, but would also prove that something was wrong.”

          “Then what did you ask him?” I’m not exactly sure where Chiaki is going with this, but she seems to have everything figured out already.

          “I asked him if you were with him.” She started, getting ready to explain herself. “…If Komaeda-kun came out of the dorm room without you and looking upset, then I knew something had to be wrong. So I called him and asked if he was with you. He said he was just about to come home.” Chiaki put on a serious face.

          “Hinata-kun… What happened that made him lie like that?” I sighed, and started to explain the whole deal with Komaeda. I’m still so confused, though… Does Komaeda still want to be in a relationship or not?! I feel like for the past few days, Komaeda’s sole purpose is to confuse me.

          When Komaeda rejected me, he said he ‘didn’t deserve it’ and he was ‘just weighing me down’, but doesn’t that mean he still wants to be together?  Just what is Komaeda’s motive?

          Chiaki sat in thought for a little while before asking me more questions.

          “…He said he didn’t want to get back together because he didn’t deserve it?” she asked.

          “Yeah. Then he said he was just weighing me down.” Chiaki put her fingers up to her lips and stayed quiet. Chiaki gets like this when she’s in deep thought. Once, a teacher called on her for an answer, and she got like that. She ended up staying like that for 5 whole minutes focusing, not knowing the teacher had already called on someone else by the time she got her answer. It’s like she’s in a whole other world.

          After a while, she finally found words to say. She looked up and looked me straight in the eyes.

          “…Hinata-kun, don’t take this the wrong way…but Komaeda-kun is lying to you… I think.”

‘H…How the hell am I supposed to take the right way…’ I thought to myself. Even then… Komaeda… lying like that?

It’s rare enough Komaeda would lie in general, but him lying about something so serious? And about something we both probably want? It just seems so unlikely…  I just don’t know how to feel about it.

Thankfully, Chiaki seemed to reconsider her wording.

“Well…maybe not lying… maybe… it’s more like… him taking things you’ve said and blowing them out of proportion.” Okay, now _that_ sounds like something Komaeda would do. At least much more believable than lying.  Komaeda does have a huge habit of taking things people say and take it a bit too seriously.

“…I especially think those last two things he said were suspicious. He’s trying to shut himself out.” I quietly sighed, knowing that Chiaki was right. It was hard to convince Komaeda to even _start_ our relationship.  When I broke up with him… he probably thought it was more of him than Enoshima.

“Yeah, you’re right… I think he was trying to get rid of the thing causing me stress… even if it meant him being unhappy.” The realization made me so upset with myself. I’m such a coward for not being able to face this.

“…Hinata-kun, you can still get Komaeda-kun back… maybe.  You just need to make it clear to him how you feel. I can help you if you want.” Even though Chiaki would have been a great help, I shook my head no.

“…No, it’s fine. You’ve helped me enough. Besides, this is my problem. I need to learn how to face them myself. Komaeda… Komaeda is my boyfriend. If I keep asking for your help for what Komaeda is feeling and thinking… then he isn’t really my boyfriend, is he? I need to do this on my own.” Chiaki gave a soft smile.

“Good. It makes me happy you’re so determined to do this on your own. I really think it shows how much you care about him.” She said before leaving. “Good luck, Hinata-kun.”

“I’ll need it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thinking of ways to get Komaeda back was… harder than I thought it would be. In fact, it was a _lot_ harder than I thought it would be.

Komaeda isn’t exactly the easiest person to talk to _regularly,_ and somehow I’m supposed to convince him to get back together with me. Things aren’t exactly looking up right now.

 I groaned and muffled myself by putting my pillow over my face. I’m not exactly the most romantic person in the world.

The first time I ever had a crush on a girl was in 5th grade. There was a girl who sat at my lunch table with me, and she was probably the most loved girl out of all of them in our grade. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I had no idea how to. So what I ended up doing was giving her a half-wilted flower and a note that said “I like your hair.” She stopped sitting at my lunch table after that.

Is there something Komaeda likes? Is there something that would be symbolic or something to him that would make it better?  I have no clue.

I started to think of every memory we shared together when we were still dating. Would that show how much I like being in a relationship with him?

I thought more about it. I’m pretty sure he would just look at me odd if I shot him with a nerf gun and said “I love you”. I’m pretty sure that’d eliminate all chances of me getting back together with him. I don’t think he’d be willing to let me take him to get coffee again, and I just don’t think it’d be enough… What else have we done? Should I think of more things we’ve done together? Should I think of before we even _started_ dating? It made me hate the situation even more.

All of a sudden, the realization hit me. I know what to do. I know what event I have to recreate. I grabbed my wallet and ran out of my dorm room.

“I have to go to the store.”


	27. Tuesday Deadline: A Way to Say 'I Love You'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B R U H I drank a large Dunkin' Donuts iced coffe before writing this and boy do I fucking regret that. I got so fucking tired after a few hours from drinking it. But I did it! I finished the chapter!

          Tuesday was a very silent morning.

          Usually Komaeda enjoys talking to me in the morning, but today was dead silent. This is it. Today is the deadline for me and Komaeda to break up.

          When I was finished doing everything I needed, I anxiously waited for Komaeda to get ready, as I reached in my book bag for what I bought yesterday. I’m hoping with everything I have that this is going to work.

          When Komaeda was fully ready, he walked over to the door to open it, but I stopped him before he could open the door and leave.

          “ _Nagito_ , wait.” For a second, it looked like Komaeda flinched upon his first name being called. He took his hand off the door and turned to look at me.

          “Hm? What is it, Hinata-kun?” This is it. There’s no turning back now. I’m done being frightened. I’m done being cowardly. I’m going to say how I feel and nothing other than that.

          I dug around a little more in the bag to find the item. It was a bit of a hassle, but eventually I felt the distinct feel of glass against my hand. I softly took a deep breath and grasped the item.

          …And pulled out the jar of cherries

          I held the jar in front of him, watching every detail on his face. He looked at the jar in mild confusion, smiling awkwardly.

          “ _Nagito_.” I said, making sure to project my voice so I sounded serious. “Do you know what this is?” Komaeda gave an odd smile.

          “Uhh… Fruit?” He replied with a chuckle. I narrowed my eyes at him. Out of all the times to be a sarcastic asshole, he had to choose _this_ one.

          “No, don’t be a smartass.” It came out a little harsher than I intended, but I kept talking.

          “Nagito, this… This is the thing that started our whole relationship.” The somewhat happy facial expression Komaeda had on his face was gone when I mentioned our relationship. A slight frown now took its place. But I’m not stopping. I’m not stopping until he knows how I feel.

          “And… It’s not just the cherries either, Nagito. It… it was _you._ If you never came home with these and did what you did, I… I wouldn’t have thought twice about our relationship. Not for a second.” Pent-up emotion forced words out of my mouth at this point. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be this meaningful under regular circumstances even if I tried.

          “But I did. I did think about it. And do you know what happened?” I tossed the cherry jar to the side somewhere, not worrying about where it landed. I took his hands gently and put mine over them and looked him in the eye.

          “…I fell in love with you.” I looked at Komaeda for a response, and he seemed to be at a loss for words. 

          His eyes darted away from me, seemingly trying to avoid making eye contact with me, but eventually, his eyes met mine again and…

          He started…crying.

          I panicked slightly, quickly releasing my hands from his grasp and awkwardly hold them a few inches from my chest. Did… Did I say something wrong…?

          “H-Hey! Are…Are you okay?” I slowly inched my hands closer to him again to cry and comfort him, and Komaeda wiped his tears away quickly.

          “N…No, it’s… I’m fine…I’m…Happy… These are… Happy tears, but…” tears started to overflow from his eyes again. “I…I can’t stand the thought of me making you miserable…” It hurt to know that I was the one who made him feel that way.  That he thinks he makes me miserable.

          “ _Nagito…_ ” The name was so gentle sounding when I said it. Every syllable of the word seemed to just come smoothly when said. I softly took his hand again and got a little closer.

          “…I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I’m… I’m really not proud of it. But… I now know I’m not going to be facing my problems alone. I’m going to face them with you. I should have realized that sooner.”  Komaeda still looked reluctant.

          “B…But… What about Enoshima?” He asked worriedly. I got slightly irritated that Enoshima was even up for discussion.

          “I don’t give a shit about what Enoshima does anymore. She can spread whatever bullshit rumor she wants about us. I don’t care.” I looked him in the eye.

          “Enoshima can’t change the fact that I love you, Nagito. Please let me show that to you.” Komaeda weakly tried to tug his hands away from mine, signaling for me to let them go. I let his hands free, and he stayed silent in thought.

          My heart is racing right now. What is he going to say? Will he reject me? Will he just keep thinking I hate him? Will… Will he try to cut ties all together…?

          As soon as all those negative thoughts entered my head, they were pushed out when Komaeda pulled me in for a tight hug. Komaeda buried his face into my shoulder and held me like he was afraid of letting me go. I felt tears soak into my shoulder. It… It was a strange feeling. It’s sad. It’s painful. But at the same time… I couldn’t wish for anything else.

          We stayed there holding each other for what seemed like forever, even though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the feeling while I could before I had to let go.

          Eventually, I had to let Komaeda go. I released Komaeda from my grasp, but he kept holding onto me. He slinked his arms around my neck and tried to inch forward to my face. I laughed softly at his way of telling me he wants a kiss.

          I gave into his oddly enticing stare and pulled him closer so he could achieve his goal. I could still faintly taste the mint toothpaste on his lips from when he brushed his teeth this morning. It sort of made me want to pull him closer.

 Right now… I feel like nothing else matters. Like nothing can hurt either of us as long as we’re in each other’s arms, but… I knew we’d have to let go eventually.

I broke the kiss and Komaeda looked almost slightly disappointed that I stopped.

“Don’t be a baby.” I playfully teased. Komaeda smiled at me happily until we both looked at the dorm room door.

We grabbed our stuff and headed towards the door, hand in hand. I looked over at Komaeda to see if he was alright.

“Are you ready?” I asked him softly. He gave a slow nod, but I didn’t exactly believe him.

“…Are you scared?” I asked him. Again, another slow nod. I squeezed his hand softly to try and comfort him.

“It’s okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I put my hand on the doorknob and waited a bit before opening it so Komaeda could have a few seconds to calm down.

And then we walked out.

We walked slightly slow, our stuff in one hand and each other’s hand in the other. I felt my heart skip beats.

“I’m going to walk you to class, okay?” I whispered to him. He whispered back a quiet ‘okay’ and we kept walking.

When we got to the main halls, the other student’s stares were unnerving as hell. Some students stared in shock, while others turned to their friends and whispered. I knew that not all of the people are talking or whispering about us, but it really felt like it.

While walking, I saw Chiaki and Sonia smiling at us from a distance. Even though they only smiled at us, it made me feel that much better.

When we got to Komaeda’s classroom, I let go of his hand to cup one of his cheeks. I gave him a small kiss before he went inside the classroom.

“I love you.” I told him. Komaeda looked at me somewhat shocked at first, but his expression quickly softened.

“I love you too.” I gave him a smile before leaving to go to my own classroom. This is going to be an extremely long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! It's almost over, guys! I originally planned for this to be the last chapter but I found the perfect stopping point so the last chapter will be next. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed my romance attempt!


	28. Rebirth of a Cherished Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MASSIVE FUCKING INFO DROP AT THE END NOTES. Also, big apologies for the very late upload. I wanted to make it as perfect and polished as possible.

          Waiting for my classes to end was probably one of the shittiest experiences I’ve ever had. All throughout first period, all I could feel were people staring at me. Not only was it unnerving as hell, it also made me worry about how Komaeda was being treated.

          It’s a pretty well-known fact in this school that Komaeda is pretty infamous for doing a lot of dangerous and insane things, and I’m sure no one’s forgiven him for it yet. With all that he’s done, it’s worrying on what people might try to do to him.

          My mind wandered, thinking about it more. If someone tried to physically hurt Komaeda, he wouldn’t stand a chance. Even if the person wasn’t a fighter in the least, Komaeda is probably the most fragile person I know. If anyone tried to hurt him… I stopped myself there.  I don’t want to torture myself any more than I already have.

          After what seemed like forever, the lunch bell finally rang, and I didn’t waste any time getting up. I almost spilled my stuff getting up from the desk so fast, but I don’t care. The only thing I’m thinking about was if Komaeda was okay.

          When I finally did get to Komaeda’s classroom, Komaeda was still sitting at his desk, waiting for me. He gave a small smile upon seeing me, and he walked over.

          “Hey.” I said to him kind of awkwardly.  He didn’t really say anything back, his smile just dropped slightly and I felt him take my hand. I made a laughing sort of exhale at him.

          “Happy to see me?” I asked. I tried to sound as normal as possible to mask the fact that my nerves were losing themselves right now because of how Komaeda’s acting. I shot him a concerned look.

          “Are… Are you okay?” I asked him. He gave a small nod at me.

          “Yeah, I’m fine.” I have a hard time believing that.

          “You don’t seem very fine to me.” I lightly scolded him. I looked at him with worry.

          “What…  What did they do to you?” I was slightly worried on what his answer would be. Did someone actually do something to him? Komaeda shifted nervously and darted his eyes away from mine. That’s it. I definitely know he’s lying now.

          “ _Nagito_ …” I growled at him. If someone really did do something to Komaeda and he wasn’t telling me about it, there’s no way in hell I’m letting it slip by.

          “N-No, Hinata-kun it’s…” he paused for a second before forcing a smile at me. “A few people just sat away from me, that’s all. It’s fine.”

          I was really relieved but also really annoyed. I’m so glad that he wasn’t physically harmed, but I’m still really aggravated he tried to keep it from me. 

          “If they try anything, tell me.” I told, him, trying to sound gentle. He nodded, and slightly tugged my hand forward towards the door.

          “We should go eat.” Even though it was so faint, I could tell he was scared to go back out again. Then again, I would be surprised if he wasn’t.

          While we were walking down the hallway, the thoughts of what Ibuki and Souda would think of us wouldn’t leave my head. I don’t know why I’m so worried about it... I can’t believe I’m still thinking that they’ll just leave us after all this. It seriously frustrates the hell out of me.

          Before I could think any more about it, I felt Komaeda knock into me like he was pushed to the side.

          “Ouch!” I heard him yelp. While I helped him regain his balance, I looked up to see who pushed him.

          “Gay!” I heard Hiyoko snicker. Of course it’s her.

          “Fuck off, Hiyoko.” I snapped at her. She laughed snidely at me again and she stuck her tongue out at us and used her finger to pull down her eyelid before running away from us. What an asshole.

          I did my best to ignore her and tugged Komaeda along to the cafeteria. When we got in, I already saw Chiaki and Sonia at the table waiting for us. When we sat down, I heard what sounded like hands slamming on the table.

          I jumped, looking frantically for who made the noise, and I saw Sonia practically leaning over the table.

          “Hinata-san! Is it really true? Have you really ‘come out of the cabinets’?” I stared at her a little oddly at her incorrect phrasing.

          “…Don’t you mean ‘out of the closet’?” I corrected her. She smiled sheepishly at her mistake.

          “Ah, yes, that. But is it true that you and Komaeda-san are really out?” She chirped enthusiastically.  At that statement, Chiaki quietly looked up from where she was sitting.

          “…Honestly, I thought everyone established Komaeda-kun was out a while ago…” I tried my best not to laugh at what she said, but in the end, I laughed. Really hard. I actually kind of felt bad since Komaeda was right next to me.  But it was just too funny to hear, especially from _Chiaki_ of all people. I never would have expected Chiaki to say something like that unless someone told her to, most likely Souda.

          After I stopped laughing, Sonia continued to talk.

          “All of that aside, you really do not know how happy this makes me! This is the first time I am witnessing a real high school romance!” Komaeda put his hand up and shook it.

          “While I’m really happy about this too, I believe you might be making this a bigger deal than it is.” Sonia’s face took a quick turn and turned serious and stern at Komaeda’s comment

          “Absolutely not! Being in love is never something of small importance!” she scolded. “Being in love is a feeling that some people may not get to experience.  You should really cherish the feeling while you have it.” Sonia took a deep breath and exhaled, seemingly satisfied at her speech.

          “After all, it is not as if-“

          “Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOI!!!” Sonia was abruptly cut short by a sudden shout, and Ibuki sliding into the seat next to her.

          “Ibuki just heard this morning! Ko-Ko-Puffs and Hajimeme are dating? What a turn of events!!!” I was kind of embarrassed since Ibuki was attracting so much attention by being loud, but I knew trying to quiet her down would be pretty much impossible. Ibuki slammed her hands on the table in excitement and it honestly concerned me how much energy she had.

          “Kyahaaa!!! Ibuki is too excited to even think straight! It just makes Ibuki wanna bring out the guitar and sing the classic ‘Love me to Death’!!!” As glad as I was to have Ibuki back, I forgot how tiring it is to have her around.

          “Oi, Oi, what’s she all riled up about?” I don’t think there’s ever been a moment where I was happier to hear Souda’s voice until now. Souda’s probably the best at keeping Ibuki’s voice down and now that he’s here, I can finally enjoy a somewhat quieter lunch.

          Souda sat down next to Ibuki, who looked like she was about to start shaking out of her seat, and then he looked up at me and Komaeda. His facial expression instantly changed when he saw us.

          “Hajime! What the hell dude?!” I jumped at his sudden shift in emotion. He looked hurt, almost betrayed as he looked at me.

          “I thought you trusted me! Why didn’t you tell me you had the hots for Komaeda?! I-I’m your soul friend!” I was really relieved to hear that he wasn’t upset that I was dating Komaeda, but on the other hand I was very confused on what he was actually upset about.

          “Seriously, Hajime. You should put more trust in me. What did you think I was gonna do, never talk to you again?”

          “Yes.” I meant more as a joke at this point, but I think Souda actually took my statement to hear.

          “Wow, dude. Way to treat your soul friend.” He pouted. “I don’t even know what you were worried about. So what you’re dating another guy? I’m pretty sure more half of Hope’s Peak is gay.” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me right now. Did I just seriously go through a week of hell for nothing?!

          “A…are you serious…?”

          “Yeah, dude. Have you _seen_ Sato? She’s basically all over Mahiru’s tits right now.”

          “…That was more than I needed to hear…”  Souda rolled his eye at me, and all of a sudden I heard Ibuki chuckle. Oh god. That’s not a good sign.

          I looked over at her, and she was leaning her elbow on the table, propping her head up on her palm, her forehead resting on it. Her whole face just screamed ‘trouble’.

          “So, Hajime… Tell me everything… Have you taken him to _Spicy McSpice town_ yet~?” My face flushed at her implication.

          “Wh-What the fuck is that supposed to mean…?” I asked, trying to play dumb.

          Komaeda chuckled at the implication, but actually I’m pretty sure he’s laughing at my reaction.

          “Mm, a few times, yes.” That little _shit._

“ _Komaeda!!!”_ I hissed at him. Komaeda kept smiling, showing no remorse. Ibuki let out some sort of laughing squeal.

          “Aha!!! Ibuki knew it! Welcome to the spicy world of Boy’s Love! It’s steamy when you heat it!” Souda’s face scrunched up in disgust.

          “Ew, fucking gross, guys! We’re at the table! I’m trying to eat!” he set his fork down, seemingly losing his appetite after that conversation. “Hajime, if you two are going to sit at the table, please just don’t make out at it. You’re here to eat lunch, not Komaeda’s face.” I smirked at him.

          “Say what you want, Souda. Even though it’s a guy’s, I still have more ass than you.” I don’t know if it’s sad that I said that with a lot of confidence, but I said it. Souda’s face turned as pink as his hair.

          “Y…You suck, Hajime…” He said in defeat.

          “I certainly do.” I retorted back. It’s almost too easy to mess with Souda sometimes, it’s ridiculous.

"Wh-whatever... Just don't come crying to me when someone spreads a rumor that you blew each other in the bathroom or something..." I rolled my eyes at him.

          After lunch, nothing else really happened. Komaeda and I got called to Headmaster Jin to clear up the giant mess of a week we lived through, and everything went smoothly. I’m lucky for that, at least. Before we walked out, Mr. Monokuma told us “not to do anything that might keep others up” or he’ll actually have us removed as roommates. I really had to resist the urge to tell him to shut the fuck up on that one.

          But at the end of the day… I guess I could call it a happy ending. My friends didn’t hate me… and Junko didn’t try anything the whole day, but that just made me really suspicious. I just made a mental note to myself to be extremely wary of her until graduation. There’s no way in hell I want to deal with another week like this.

          But in the end… I guess everything turned out all right.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

          I sighed, flopping myself onto my twin bed. Looks like they won. Never thought I’d see the day, but their _disgusting_ hope managed to overcome my despair.

          “Junko? Are you okay?” Mukuro asked with concern. I smirked.

          “Yeah, just peachy.” She gave me a confused look.

          “I-I can think of other plans to get them to break up again, it won’t be that hard if we-“

          “Stop.” I interrupted her.

          “H-huh? B-But Junko, this-“

          “God, shut up, Mukuro! I said I’m done with them!” I turned my nose up at her.

          “B-But why, Junko? Wasn’t this your whole plan all along?” A sly chuckle escaped my throat.

          “I don’t _care_ about a hopeless case like them anymore! So what my plan to get them to break up failed?” I laughed at the thought… the horrible despair of them having to inevitably break up….! That kind of delicious despair…! It’s…! It’s like euphoria!!

          “You just don’t _get_ it, Mukuro. You _never_ do. That little plan earlier? That was just a _game_ to me. A fluke! So what if it succeeded or failed? I would have tasted sweet despair from them either way…! It’s marvelous…! It’s... It’s _beautiful_ …!”

          I laughed to myself. He should know of all people… it’d never work. Their relationship… It’ll always have a bumpy road… The little hope weirdo’s insanity will never go away. His disgusting hope obsession will never go away… They’re just setting themselves up… for a horribly despair inducing end!

You just think you’re so clever, don’t you Hajime? You should just know…

That despair…

_Always comes back._

_Whether I do it or not…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... so... There's a lot of shit to say. I finished my first fanfiction project! Yay! For my first serious fanfiction project, I think I did all right. While writing, I had a lot of issues with the rough drafts. I had writing paranoia, and I was so worried that my writing wasn't good enough. I kept second guessing myself and ended up making the writing bad so then I'd worry again. I'm very self conscious with writing, and I keep worrying if it's good or not and if other people will like it. Another point I'd like to bring up is that I had freaked out in the middle of the series, struggling where I thought the series was going to go. I hardy planned this to become a series at all and this was just meant to be a one-shot but it eventually just evolved into a series. While I'm glad I made it into a series, it also hurt me because I didn't plan any of this. I didn't have an overall plan on what was going to happen, so I'm sure there are plot holes in a few places that I didn't fix. So I guess I learned my lesson and I should plan serious series like these more carefully. I really tried to make things good and have things line up, but it was hard on a tight schedule and everything just kind of happened. And to me, mistakes are really embarrassing to me for some reason. I hate making them and I feel like a shitty writer when I do make them. I'm pretty sure at one point I just abandoned a plot line somewhere? I dont even fucking know anymore. As well as that, I'm nervous all the time about what other people think of my writing. I live for praise, and when I'm really proud of a chapter and it didn't get any comments, it made me feel like I wasn't doing well enough. I didn't want to point out I wanted comments because I didn't want to seem selfish or like an attention whore, but I couldn't help but want attention or praise. So... I guess that wraps it up! my first fanfiction project! Let's hope it was a good one. If you don't mind, please *please* tell me what you thought about the series, I'd really like some feedback and things to make my writings better, it would really make my day if you did. Stick around for more one-shots and fanfic series'~ I'm really looking forward to them.


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